chapter 13

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"She has won Ali over." Ihsan says then turns to look at me, "now it's her time to win your heart."

I stare at her.

So... She is the one?

My heart beat as fast as a cheetah. A pang of painful memories tattooed my existence. The painful memories of the long-gone moments keep smacking me.

Women. How can I trust them? Again?

The smiling face of the woman that broke me stains my eyes. A smile that once I thought was heavenly.

"Don't think that every woman is the same, Ibru. There are some, that are pious. A true Muslim woman. She knows how to treat her husband and how to take care of her family." Ihsan tells me but I cannot control my feelings. I am powerless.

Allah! Help me.

" And very soon your lord is going to give you, and you will be satisfied. Remember the verse, Ibru." Ihsan says again. Allah please ease my trembling heart. [Quran; 93:5]

I look down at Ali who is leaning on my torso. He is half asleep, now that his belly is full. Ihsan places a hand on my shoulder.

I look up at her, my vision is already blurred, "I am trying, Ihsan. But it is not easy. I am trying to forget her. I am trying to forget those unbearable memories." A lone tear crosses the boundary of my right eye.

Ihsan just pats my shoulder and I quickly wipe my tear as we see Hairah.

Will I be okay with another woman? Is there any woman who will love Ali just like her own? Is there any woman who will love me and Ali, like her precious ones?

"So? I must get going." Hairah says.

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They left the cafe in their car and I left the cafe in mine. I could no longer stay there. My capacity is filled.

Yet, after leaving there I feel empty. I feel cold. I feel lifeless.

Maybe I just left something behind!

After getting home, I first perform my wudu and then pray nafl prayers. Allah is the one who can make me feel alive again. He is the one who can fill in my void.

"Ya Allah, help me. Am I the one to be a shelter for that broken man and his son? Am I the one to mend his broken heart? Am I the one to become a mother to that innocent child?" The tears flowed like a river. I had heard their conversation. He is trying to forget the memories?

"Ya Allah, he needs more beautiful memories to replace the past ones. Allah, help him. Ya Allah, help him fight them and overcome his prison of the past."

A woman left her husband and child for worldly things? How can she? After getting a heavenly chance of being a mother?

Trust is a dangerous thing. Once broken it shall be never fixed. But with the help of our lord, we can. But he has to will it.

I have seen my sister go through a horrible memory. She suffered day and night. She became afraid. But with help of Allah, it all got away.

Being betrayed by your most loved one is the worst experience one could ever have. The one we thought will be there for us in our pain, and sorrow, and throughout our existence.

He must have loved her unconditionally.

Now, that I saw the man and his kid alongside, I want to be with them. I want to be their support. I want to be their shoulder to lean on.

But everything is in Allah's hands. If Ihsan calls me and says they are not okay to proceed, then I have to let them go. But I will pray for them every single day.

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