Forbidden Tragedies

Chapter 32

-Lucien-

I stared blankly at the fire in front of where I sat, seeing how the colors illuminated the space surrounding it in my dark room.

It was deep into the night, and a dark night at that with the new moon.

And just like most nights, I found myself unable to sleep.

Though, unlike most nights, the reason was vastly different.

Instead of being stuck just laying there, begging through my exhaustion for sleep to be merciful enough to take me, I couldn't sleep because I simply felt no need to. I had too much energy.

Too much... pure, perfect energy.

I just felt... like me.

My tongue ran over my fangs, blowing out a sigh.

I've only ever had her blood in small bursts or used up all the initial energy right after taking it. I've experienced its immediate effects, but never the longer-lasting ones.

Not until now.

And it was even more a reason now that I didn't want to become dependent on it. More of a reason I wanted to keep Layla away because I knew she would become addicted to it.

I felt the closest to normal I think I ever have. Like there had been a peace between those two battling sides of me.

Even this I knew couldn't and wouldn't last forever, so instead, I used this tranquility to think.

Of what to do from here, what to do with her. If and how I should tell this to Erik.

Realistically, there was a little chance of that happening again.

She offered, and I quite literally couldn't say no. Whether she felt bad or wrongfully indebted, I didn't know.

She needed her blood drawn either way, but I knew she wasn't telling the whole truth when her explanation came out.

Though I'll admit it was nice to see her somewhat... cooperative.

Like she was re-awakening differently after that little spat down in the city.

Not into a pet. No, I don't think that was going to be in any way a possibility for her.

It was never going to be something she willingly stepped into.

I didn't have the energy nor the general desire to break her into one the way most other vampires viewed to be fit.

Her fight was there, it was just dulled for now. And while it was, I felt like I needed to act now before things go back to how they were.

This was why I got her in the first place. We could help each other.

I just needed to figure out how... the perfect dosage of her blood for my needs.

Dammit, maybe I did need to get Erik in on this, but the thought of letting this get out... the one thing that's truly helped me reach normalcy... the vampire in me wanted to keep this hidden. Keep it sacred.

I hated to admit that I was almost desperate to keep it close.

A sound from behind me roused me from my thoughts and had me turn my head to see the bathroom door getting opened.

Those grey eyes of hers blinked wide and she halted the moment she noticed either my figure, or the glow of my eyes on her.

"Oh," her voice was no more than a breath, her hand treading carefully down from where it was on the door.