25. {Sacrifice}

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I wasn't sure if I was ready to let Jesse see me again. I didn't want to let him back into my life with a feeling of the need to save me again. I wanted to be okay, I wanted to be seen as a normal person, just with a bit different past.

I woke up with a really bad headache. I couldn't sleep through the night as I faltered between texting Jesse more things I wanted to say and not doing that, like I said I wasn't sure.

A knock came on my door and Jade peeked inside, with the usual blank expression on her face.

"You look like a zombie, Mom asked to see you," she muttered. As I nodded to her, I noticed that she changed her hairstyle and something about what happened with Jace yesterday didn't settle with me, so I decided to ask.

"You changed your hair, why?" I asked her.

"Do we have to wear the same hairstyle?" She bit back immediately.

"What's the harm in that?" I asked again.

"Of course, you have no idea," she stated before she walked away from the door.

I wondered what she meant by that.

I washed up and went down for breakfast, I was surprised to see that we had a guest over. As I walked into the living room, the tense atmosphere didn't help my headache as my curiosity increased. Everyone looked at me including the guest like they had something really important to say to me.

"Hello, June. My name is Matthew, I am the officer in charge of your case," he tried to smile at me while my gaze only went to the ID card he had on his casual shirt. 

My brows furrowed in confusion as I replied him, "what case?"

He seemed to be confused too as he exchanged glances with my parents before turning back to me.

"The case against Mr Baywhite," he answered me.

That name sent horrific chills down my spine, I didn't want to hear his name at all, not anywhere around me.

"Dad, what is this about?" I turned to my father.

"Mr Matthew here has come to inform us that Oliver has pleaded not guilty in the court and so it's up to us if we want to continue the case," Father explained.

I let out a loud exhale as the worry ensued in my mind. "I'm not going to court, Dad. I'm doing fine." I told him.

"What are you talking about? Oliver deserves to rot in jail for what he did," Jace looked at my face as if he hoped for me to see the truth in his judgement.

"I don't care okay, it's a fortune you know about what happened. Making everyone else know about it, that is a nightmare." I turned and went back into my room, the walls starting to feel like they were caging me in and I had no where to collapse.

As I sat on my bed replaying the little conversation we just had, my room door opened to reveal Jade.

"You don't care if Oliver doesn't pay for what he did, to you?" She asked me again.

I looked up to find her and for the first time that I looked onto Jade's face close enough, I could actually see emotions in her face. It looked like it was anger, considering the way her brows furrowed in confusion. It also looked like pity, considering the way that her eyes actually darkened. I wasn't used to Jade's expressions so I didn't know which was which.

"Is this a joke to you?" I asked her, my frown still there.

"I feel like that's what you think it is," she crossed her arms and looked back to me.

"You don't care about people finding out what he did, to me?" I asked her again.

"I want people to know what he did, June. This guy deserves to pay for what he did, regardless." She answered me.

"But it's a choice and I don't want to have to go through that," I told her.

"And if he comes back? What about other girls out there? What about the next person he'll try to assault because we didn't take care of business the way we should have?" She asked me again.

Silence.

I didn't know what to say to that. I didn't have a reply to that.

Jade stared at me for a little longer before she gave the expression for me to think about it. And thinking about it took me to one place.

Therapy.

Session 8

"I want to care about other people, Maya. I really do, I just don't think it's the best idea to put myself out there when I'm not sure I'm ready," I rambled on and on.

Maya wrote out as I spoke, there was still more in me so I continued to rant.

"I mean, my Grandmother once told me not to go into fights unless I'm sure I'd win. I don't have what it takes to win this fight," I tried to explain to her. "Why can't they understand?"

"June, I think everyone is just worried. Oliver has proven to be someone that if allowed, he'd continue to go back to the same crime over and over again," she started. "I don't think it's safe for him to be anywhere around you, or other girls."

I paused and listened to her.

"Yes, it's not fair that he got a chance at trial in the first place. But what will be even more unfair is if he gets out without paying for what he did," Maya continued.

"But my job as your therapist June, is to make sure you don't make decisions that can jeopardize your mental wellbeing. If you feel like you can't handle the exposure to public during court trial, then you don't have to. There are other ways around it." She concluded and I nodded to her.

•••••

As Jace picked me up from therapy, there were a thousand thoughts running through my mind. I looked out the window and traced my fingers on the window which shielded us from the rain.

As I remembered everything Oliver did, the kinds of changes he brought about to me as a person. The negativity attached with the memories rose a familiar feeling in me, it was anger.

Jade was right, if he put his hands on me, I had to cut them off. Going to fight in court was my way of doing that.

"Have you decided on what to do?" Jace turned to me with a delicate expression on his face.

"He is going to pay."

He has to.

💨May 4thxx

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💨May 4th
xx

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