30. {Jade}

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•Jade

The opposite of the sun was the moon, the opposite of a flower; a weed, the opposite of darkness; light, the opposite of me was her.

If a farm plant seems to align with the standard sense of beauty and aesthetic, it even gets regarded as a flower. But the moment, it has a vein sharp enough to cut through you as you observe it, then it's a thorn. If it has a human life in it, it becomes the antagonist.

If you've lived long enough in the shadows of a person because of what people said about you, you figure out that in the prospect of time, you don't only blame the people whose constant comparison put you in the shadows, you start to blame that person for radiating so much light in the first place, even if it is someone that you love.

As you struggle to be your own person in the hopes of dispelling the shadows, you worry a bit more than most as it gets difficult. And soon, you strive to be seen through whichever way possible, you stop caring even if you do the wrong things just to be seen.

Maybe I had done it wrong.

A knock came on my door that morning as I stood in front of the mirror. I turned to see June as the reflection of her came in the mirror.

"Hey," she spoke gently as she sat on my bed. I only nodded to her and watched her smile.

"You need something?" I asked her.

"No, I'm just here to talk." June responded to me as she covered her legs with the blanket.

"What's there to talk about?" I asked her as I turned back to the mirror.

"I'm really happy that you're painting again, Jade." She started.

"Why? Because it's the only thing we did together that you weren't good at?" I asked her immediately.

"Jade, all of those things that we did together, I only enjoyed them because I got to do them with you," she replied me.

"You," I drawled as I exhaled before continuing. "You danced better, you played better, you were smarter, people liked you better."

"Was that how you felt? That I did everything better?" She asked me again.

"That's what people had to say," I responded to her.

"Most of those things Jade, I only did them because I felt you wanted to do them. When you quit, I quitted too. I had no reason to keep going, I wasn't looking for people to think I was better," she explained in her defense. "I just wanted to spend time with my sister."

"Look, I tried not to see it as a competition, I really tried. I only wanted to be seen," I tried to tell her.

"Jade, you're the most beautiful person that I know, you paint really amazing sceneries, you have great friends who care about you and your heart is so big and I'm not anywhere close to that," she continued as she stood up from the bed and approached me.

"But, people don't know that." I responded to her.

"Maya tells me that our lives aren't ours if we care about others think, Jade." She answered me.

"You think so?" I asked her again.

"I know so. So it doesn't matter if you wear a different hairstyle, different clothes, shoes. I already see you for who you are and I'm sure the others will too," she told me.

"Thank you," I slowly muttered as my shoulders slumped. June came to me, raised my head up and pulled me into a warm embrace.

"I'm glad to have you, sis," she said again with a genuine bright smile.

"Me too," I responded and we pulled apart.

As we both faced the mirror again and stared at our reflections in it, I scrunched my face up jokingly and said,

"Ew, I'm not wearing the same hairstyle as you."

"Thinking about it now, it's kind of creepy." She responded and we both laughed.

In that moment, I decided that I was going to do my best, and hopefully, it would be enough.

In that moment, I decided that I was going to do my best, and hopefully, it would be enough

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💨May 9th
xx

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