burritos and lemonade.

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basically just comfort with no plot + movie crossover in the future? kinda? it's basically just crumbs from Zoe's (readers) pov.

low-key a mess but oh well.

There's so much pressure from society to always be doing something, to always be looking for the next best thing and whilst I understand it's important to strive toward your goals, I hate the mentality people hold that it's never okay to take a break or to not know what it is you'd like to do with your life.

My parents are both doctors, therefore naturally very high achievers and whilst they've assured me time after time that I don't have to follow in their footsteps, I still feel the judgement from people when they ask what I do and I tell them I'm an actress that has absolutely zero desire to go to college.

Speaking of my parents, they were transferred to a new hospital back in January which meant a move from San Diego up to Los Angeles, consequently also meaning I had to shift schools and leave all my friends behind. My boyfriend too. We were going to try long distance, but then he got accepted into the University of Washington and is moving in September so we decided to break up instead.
That was four months ago and I still miss him. Jason was the first person I ever loved and we'd been together since freshman year.

The only thing I have going for me right now is the fact that I'm working on my first movie with Marvel. I suppose that's actually quite an achievement, but I'm not enjoying as much as I imagined I would and that has nothing to do with the role or the cast and crew but everything to do with that fact that I have been feeling completely and utterly burnt out for the last several months.

Today especially has felt unbearably long.
I started school at seven-thirty and finished at three. I then was picked up and taken to set to work from five until seven before I finally now get a dinner break for a half hour, only to have to get back to it until ten.

Typically I would go and eat in the green room with the rest of the cast, or sometimes I'll sneak out to get burritos from down the street with my friend Lexie but tonight I resorted to eating alone in my trailer. I needed the quiet. Although the quiet didn't last very long when only five minutes into my break and an episode of 'Friends', a knock was heard on my trailer door.

"Zoe, it's Lexie. Can I come in?"

With a roll of my eyes, I place my laptop and salad bowl to the side of the couch and walk across the space. Unlocking the door, I'm met with the brunette holding four burritos in her hands and a bottle of lemonade under her arm.

"Mom and I noticed you seemed a little down today so we bought you a burrito and some lemonade cause we know it's your favourite. Addy's here too, her and Mom are just stealing chocolate from Mackie's trailer."

I smile at the gesture, making way for her to come inside. As much as I wanted to be in my own company, this doesn't seem like a bad alternative. In fact, this is probably the nicest thing somebody has done for me in a long time.
With my parents working eighteen hour days and me losing all my friends back in San Diego, I've barely felt seen lately so the genuine act of kindness almost makes me teary.
"Thank you for this, Lex."

"Oh, that's okay. You can thank Mom, she paid for it all," she giggles lightly, placing the food and beverage down on the counter before taking one of the burritos for herself and flopping onto the couch. "Do you want to talk about anything?"

I shrug, jumping up to sit on the counter and tucking my hands underneath my thighs. "I don't think so. I'm just exhausted and I need a break from life, but I can't because I have final exams in like a month and obviously we still have two more months of shooting."

With a mouth full of Mexican food, Lexie's face falls into a frown and once she's swallowed she goes to answer but is quickly interrupted when Scarlett and her girlfriend, Addy barge through the door. Whilst she's not an actress herself, Addy has been spending quite a bit of time on set lately. Apparently her Mom is dating someone that she doesn't particularly like therefore tries to avoid as much as possible.

"Hello," she sings, a bag of lollies in hand as she joins Lexie on the couch and places a kiss on her lips. It's stupid that somebody else's happiness makes me jealous, but it's only because what the two of them have is what I used to have with Jason and it only makes me miss him more.

"Hi, kiddo," Scarlett greets, placing a bar of chocolate in my mini fridge before leaning on the counter space beside me, "you holding up alright?"

I send her a half-hearted smile. "I'm just tired."

"Is there anything you want to talk about?"

"No," I shake my head with a sigh, "thank you anyway. Also thank you for the food."

"It's my pleasure, Zo. If you ever change your mind too, I'm here to listen."

For the next several minutes the four of us fall into a casual conversation. Well, the three of them talk whilst I listen and devour my burrito. My ability to hold a conversation severely lacks whenever I'm the slightest bit tired.
At one point I pick up my phone and start mindlessly scrolling through social media until I come across a photo of Jason and one of my old friends from San Diego in bed together.

Maybe it's the fact that we broke up for the reason that he was moving away in the fall, or maybe it's the fact that I'm very emotionally fragile as of lately but whatever the cause, I start bawling out of the blue causing the conversation to come to a halt as Scarlett, Lexie and Addy focus their attention on me.

I'm bombarded with several questions at once, but I can't get a hold of myself for long enough to answer any, so instead Scarlett helps me down from the counter and engulfs me in a warm embrace, Lexie and Addy soon following after.

"Do I need to kick someone's ass?" I laugh at Scarlett's question as I pull away from the hug. "Please?"

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