Nightmare Of My Dreams | Tom and Bill Kaulitz |

His presence

I don't how I spend the days, weeks without her being here. It almost felt impossible but i'm doing this all for her sake. I never imagined a day would come when I'd have to leave her behind, but if that's what it takes for her to be safe, i'll do it.

Yet, I find myself unable to resist the urge to watch her from a distance. Most nights, I make my way to her house. I stand outside her window, observing her while she sleeps. Sometimes, luck is on my side, and she faces the window. but it's never enough for me, it never was.

I never kept my old pets alive, they always ended up dead by my hands, but somehow I didn't want her to end up like the rest. I don't know what to call this feeling but it is eating me alive, killing me slowly.

Her not being with me was only making me more raging, more anxious and more paranoid. I don't know how many whores i've killed, ripping their hearts out like the way she did to mine. The number of victims is beyond my counting now and I only blame her; Lisa.

I don't know how long I can handle this, but there was this idea of me breaking into her house again, kidnapping her once again if she's not willing to come back with me. But i'd wash it off every time i think about hurting her.

I let out a sight, I wonder what she is doing now?

••Lisa.P.O.V••

I wondered what he is doing as I grabbed the last garbage on the floor and put it onto the bag. probably racing with his car in the same place we've met, and finding a new passenger to spend the night with, or maybe he had gotten himself a new "pet" now that I was no longer his.

I take a look around my house, it was now a bit clean and more like a house instead of a garage
dump. the wall are still broken but I'm no builder, so I suppose I'll just have to leave them be. But i still feel empty, not even tidying up could dispel thoughts of him.

Ugh I need to do something else, something that actually makes me stop thinking, maybe like going out? or staying home and cry myself to sleep? because I know once I lay down in that bed, the tears would automatically fall down my face.

damn it, even thinking about it both makes me sick to my stomach but I rather go out and drink till I overdoes instead of crying again.

I think it's time to break out of my shell and go somewhere. It's been weeks since i've seen a human being other than myself, that's funny but not funny at the same time.

I shook my head, trying to reassure myself that this is a good choice, then I undressed. As I headed to the bathroom, I turned on the shower. Even the simple act of showering brings back memories of him. The way he used to kiss my wounds and scars, the time when he kiss me in the shower, water streaming down our faces.

Yeah definitely fuck this. I got out after I was done with shower, brushing my teeth before making my way back to my room.

It was now nearly 10 pm, I had spent the whole day for cleaning the house. With a deep sigh, I opened my closet. After what seemed like ages, I settled on a black skirt paired with a matching black shirt, along with black leggings and a black leather coat. I completed the ensemble with black high boots. No mood for colors, just black.

Makeup wasn't on my mind, but I added a touch of mascara to my eyes to brighten up my pale face. I left my long hair down, embracing its natural look.

"I think i'm done" I mumbled to myself as I started at my reflection on the mirror. I was staring to question myself again from the decision I made but I quickly shook them off by grabbing the keys and finally getting out of the house.