𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐬 ˢᵛᵗ

sixteen ♬

I expected the car right to be quiet, praying that Youngpil wouldn't mention any unwarranted topics. Not even 10 minutes in, my hopes were quickly squandered, as he began his interrogation.

"Have you contacted your mother?" He asked, eyes focused on the road in front of him. I took out my left earphone and replied.

"Of course not."

"The company was informed of her status recently," His tone flat, unmoving. "She's been officially hospitalised, where she'll be undergoing rehabilitation and treatment for her liver and mental health for the next nine to twelve months."

"Ah, I see." I tried not to care, yet deep down part of me did. This isn't her first time going to rehab, and I'm sure it won't be her last. The liver part must be from all the drinking. She sure loved her beers. But I knew how difficult it was for her to get better, for her to be better. And each time she manages to disappoint me more.

"I understand you may not be on the best terms with each other." The car came to a halt at a red traffic light. Youngpil turned to look at me, his tired eyes full of concern. The crease at where his furrowed eyebrows met aged him.

"You could at least visit her once. She's your mother after all."

She's your mother after all.

The words sliced through me like a knife. She may be my mother, but was due to no choice of mine. Everyone seems to have this skewed idea that because someone is your flesh and blood, you owe them something. That they are allowed to take and take and take from you until there is nothing left, and you just have to keep quiet, still willing to give. I owed my mother nothing and I did not wish to see her, but these are things I could never say to him. So instead I firmly nodded, returning to my music. The rest of the journey was silent, with the exception of SUPER JUNIOR's Mr Simple, which was blasting through my earphones.

We arrived in Busan, just shy of 7pm. On the way to the accommodation, Youngpil picked up some tteokbokki and fish cakes from a street vendor, which were delicious after a day without much food. The place I was staying at was this massive hotel-like building, floors almost reaching the sky. I was told that this will be where all the contestants will be residing, and that filming begins tomorrow at 9am sharp. That was where me and Youngpil had to part ways, as he had to stay with the other managers in a dorm a block south. A staff from the film crew led me up to my room on the 5th floor.

The room was luxurious and spacious, fit for royalty. A large fur rug lay in front of the double bed, which was pushed against the olive coloured wall, where a painting hung. The sheets were ivory, crisply folded at the edges. I opened the door to the bathroom, revealing a celebration of white and gold. There was a porcelain bathtub rimmed with gold, sitting proudly in the middle. Bath bombs, bath salts and bubble mix adorned the inside of the tub. A large mirror hung above the sink, which hosted a marble countertop.

Wow, this place is no joke.

I spent the following two hours treating myself to a fancy bath, before settling in for the night. I believed my anxiety over meeting the contestants tomorrow would keep me up, but the comfort of the silk sheets and soft pillows overpowered it, allowing me to rest easy.

Back at the dorms

The boys were dancing in the practice room, retracing the steps which Yoona has taught them. Soonyoung, Jun and Dino were up on their feet, hitting each beat of the fast paced music. Minghao turned in early that night, wanting to catch up with his studies. Jihoon left shortly after to head over to the recording studio, Seungcheol too, after getting an idea for a new song. JJ had gone with Joshua and Wonwoo to the mini mart nearby, grabbing snacks for the next few days for when Hidden Gems would air. That left Jeonghan, Mingyu, Seungkwan, Vernon, Seokmin and Bori, who were sat on the floor of the practice room in a group. They were talking about Chae-ri's departure, and their excitement over the show.

Bori reached for her phone once it began to ring. Once she'd seen the name, she stood up abruptly.

"Sorry I need to take this," She bowed and then walked out the room. The boys nodded at her, then resumed their conversation.

"I can't believe she's gonna be on a survival program," Jeonghan praised, talking to Mingyu. Seungkwan and Vernon were deep in discussion about what's the correct way to tie shoe laces, bunny ears or just looping it around, and Seokmin appeared to be in a world of his own which left Mingyu as the only participant left to talk to.

"I know," Mingyu said. "It's crazy."

"Seokmin," Jeonghan looked over to the boy, who gazed distantly in front of him. "What song did Ms Chang say we need to practice?"

Seokmin didn't hear Jeonghan's question, his mind faraway.

I've never thought bad of you.

Chae-ri's words were stuck on his mind, replaying over and over again. It was unknown to him why he continued thinking about it, and why they seemed to mean so much to him. He'd had many friends who were girls before, so why did it feel strange this time?

He'd originally approached her because he wanted her to feel welcomed. It was in his nature to be bubbly and kind, always making friends. Meeting new people was never difficult for him, so when he'd heard that new trainees were arriving, he was only glad to make more friends.

But then when he saw her, the first thing he noticed was the sadness behind her eyes. Seokmin might be childish and thoughtless at times however, he was very observant too. He saw the isolation and loneliness she wore daily, masked behind her confidence. She seemed to be carrying many burdens, yet still somehow making time to follow her dreams, which Seokmin admired greatly about her. Because of that, he found himself around her more often, trying to soften the rough edges that life had carved out of her. Trying to make her happier, more content with her present. He wanted to make her smile and laugh and forget about her hardships, just so she could live with a little less weight.

But he couldn't possibly understand why he felt so strongly about it. Bori and JJ were his friends too, so why was Chae-ri so different from them?

"Earth to Seokmin," Jeonghan waved his hand in front of Seokmin's face, searching for a reaction. Seokmin snapped out of his trance, shaking his head.

"What did you say?" Seokmin asked flustered, coming back to his senses.

"I was just asking about the song we have to sing tomorrow," Jeonghan eyed him carefully, his tone hinted with suspicion. "Is something distracting you?"

Seokmin shook his head and laughed, returning to his normal self. He told the duo that he'd go right now to ask Ms Chang because he too had forgotten. Mingyu bid him farewell, watching him stride out the room. Jeonghan was left unconvinced by Seokmin's actions, still cautious that something more remained.

"That boy..." Jeonghan trailed off, then picked up his conversation with Mingyu from where they had left off.

-

Seokmin left the practice room to find Ms Chang but a voice in the hallway stopped him. It belonged to Bori, who had left earlier to answer the phone.

"I'm telling you it was supposed to be my spot," She fumed. The sentence stopped Seokmin in his tracks like a deer in headlights, fearing that he walked into something he shouldn't of. Thinking quickly, he hid himself around the corner of the corridor, listening quietly to the conversation.

"She thinks she's so good just because she's pretty," Bori gritted through her teeth. "But looks can only get you so far."

Who was she talking about? Seokmin's mind scrambled for answers. Could it be JJ? Or Chae-ri? Or maybe it's someone from her past? He kept as silent as he could, gripping hard on the edge of the wall.

"Sabotage does sound like a good idea," The girl said. "I'll think about it."

The call ended, the phone snapping shut. This startled Seokmin, clasping a hand across his mouth to prevent any noise from escaping. Footsteps began, and he braced himself for the confrontation that never came. Confused, he popped his around to see her walking in the opposite direction towards the dorms. A sigh of relief came out, then he continued his search for the vocal teacher. However, the nervous thought gnawed away at his mind.

Who was Bori talking about?