You drew stars around my scars

Chapter 31

Taylor was pleasantly surprised when Monday she saw that Jessica had eaten about 80% of all three meals. She was unsure what had kick started it but she hoped this was the beginning of a true recovery.

Throughout the rest of the week she checked and saw that Jessica was steadily eating, she couldn't wait to see the weigh in Friday – hoping that she would be able to actually get a face to face visit in.

Friday morning her phone dinged and her heart was hammering in her chest as she opened the app – 2.5lb weight gain. Taylor did a little dance in her kitchen as she celebrated and not long after a message came through confirming the visit for 1pm on Saturday.

Taylor hoped their chat during the week had actually helped the girl and decided to write out some affirmations on card for the teen to put around her room or to keep and reflect on when she was feeling really low. Taylor got out some of her crafting cards and pens, decorating them all – hoping to cheer the girl up more.

Saturday afternoon Taylor pulled up outside the treatment centre and headed inside, excited to see the girl. Soon she was walking into the teen's room, Jessica jumped up and ran over – jumping straight into Taylor's arms "You're here!" Taylor nodded "I told you I would be and it's because you have worked your butt off this week, I am so proud of you!" Jessica pulled back, grinning wildly "I've tried like really hard during all my meals. I've actually eaten as much as I physically could and then I have drunk the supplement to top it up - they haven't used the tube AT ALL!!" Taylor laughed at the girl's enthusiasm "that's so great buddy! You seem like you have a lot more energy this week, are you feeling any better?" Jessica nodded eagerly "Yeah, but I have been sleeping better too. Who knew that actually giving your body nutrients meant lots of other stuff just kind of works too?" she grinned cheekily at Taylor who rolled her eyes "Well I have something for you – I made you a few quotes, affirmations, words of wisdom etc" I thought you could read them at times when you're struggling?" Jessica reached out to take them, awe all over her face as she began to read through these "Thanks Tay – these are great! Did you make them all for me?!" Taylor nodded, proud of herself – she loved being creative "yeah, you can keep them all safe and anytime you're struggling you can read through them and you can imagine me saying them to you! Just my way of saying I will always be here, even when I'm not physically here". The two hugged again and settled into catching up. They were interrupted only by the Doctor coming in "Good Afternoon both of you! Just coming in to catch you up again, it's been a great week! Jessica has been trying really hard with her eating, she's eating a lot better – with a variety of foods. She has been really opening up in therapy and has even contributed a few times in the groups. She is really engaging with the treatment, obviously we saw a positive weight gain but also Jessica told us she feels she has a more energy, is sleeping better and for the first time was able to take a shower without feeling dizzy – I'd say that's pretty incredible!" The blonde pulled Jessica in for a side hug "That's amazing! We were actually just talking about the NG tube – is there a plan there? It only has a week before it needs changing..." the doctor nodded "Yes, well, if Jessica continues to make this progress then we will remove the tube next week and we won't re-insert it. She is doing really well and actually we believe now having it out will continue to encourage her to take everything orally." She turned towards Jessica now "but obviously – if we have to use it at all over the next week then we will have to reinsert it. We have had some really positive changes this week and we want to keep it that way though".

Jessica squeezed Taylor's hand tightly in excitement and as soon as the doctor left she turned to the blonde "They're going to take it out! I won't have to have it anymore!" Taylor beamed "I know! As long as you keep trying your hardest – only one more week with it and you'll be free!" Jessica laughed as Taylor sung the last word loudly.

The afternoon passed quickly again and soon it was time for Taylor to leave, they had their obligatory long hug and then Taylor pulled away, she cupped the teens face "I am SO proud of you baby. You are trying your absolute best, you are pushing through something really scary and doing all the hard things. I know you were nervous about coming here but I am so happy you did!" Jessica wanted to speak but she was afraid she would cry if she did so she nodded and quickly hugged Taylor again before watching the blonde leave. Taylor left quickly, worried if she hung around the would upset the girl – she reflected on all the times she had walked away from the girl begging and pleading for her to stay compared to today where she walked away guilt free.

She once again rung her Mum on her drive home and updated her – telling her she really felt like Jessica had made big progress. Andrea listened proudly as Taylor told her all about the week before asking "And are you taking good care of yourself now you know she's being taken care of?" Taylor rolled her eyes "Yes Mum, I'm eating – I'm sleeping – I'm writing again actually. I'm good". Andrea set up a day to come over next week to see her to check in – she also asked Taylor to find out if she could visit with her next weekend to see Jessica. Taylor knew she would check one evening with Jessica it was ok before asking the doctors but it made her heart swell knowing her family had accepted Jessica too.

When she got home, Taylor began to look online at places they could visit this summer – she needed to speak to the treatment team to make sure it was a good idea but she loved the idea of them getting away for a couple of weeks, enjoying some sun and relaxation.

Soon her researched turned into long term eating disorder recovery and what she could do to best help Jessica when she finally did come home. She knew that through her own recovery it wasn't a linear process and she wanted to be well prepared to work through any hiccups the teen would encounter. She began to realise how lucky she was that treatment was easily accessible for her and how she could support Jessica – she knew thousands of other young people we struggling without the resources to be able to seek proper treatment. She wanted to help and contacted her team to discuss setting up a foundation to help others with eating disorders gaining appropriate treatment – she didn't know quite what to do or how to do it, all she knew was she wanted to do something.