Destroyed By Words - Completed - Editing

Break the Surface

HEYOOOOOOOOO  Finally an actual chapter!  IM SO SORRY!  I know it's been like a year since I last updated a chapter for this book.  Okay, that was stretched, but whatever.  Without further ado, 

Luv Lyds!!

CARINA'S POV

I'm stuck inside of my mind again.  I'm in that hole again.  That hole I go to when reality is too harsh.  Where I push everyone away.  I'm in the hole that destroys my life.  

How could I have been so careless to make Jaylen have an anxiety attack?  How could I be so careless to not care about the rules, that someone who is doing a lot for me, made?  Why do I have to have this life.  

I've been on the floor for hours since Jonah came in.  I've been listening to the same playlist, loving every word.  Ugh, now they probably hate me.  

I move on to the bed, flopping onto the bed, embracing the pain that sparks through my body.  I start to sing, hating how my voice sounds so broken.  I hate this hole, that takes me a while to get out of.  It's like I hear what people say, I process it, but I can't do anything but utter a few words, and push them away.  

The door opens and Jonah comes in.  I quickly turn away.  I hear his footsteps come closer.  

"Carina look at me."  His voice rings.  I stay still and I hear him huff.  

"Carina, what the heck is going on?"  He speaks.  I turn the volume up to tune him out, although it's the last thing I want to do.  You see, in this hole, I do things without thinking, and my body ignores my thoughts and heart.  I can say a few words, but I can't say what's wrong.  It's almost like I'm a different person.  I know it's weird, but it's hard to explain.  

As I turn up the volume my ear buds are ripped out causing me to whimper.  Hands turn me around to face him.  As I try to look away his hands stop me.  

"Don't push me away.  Please Carina!  My parents aren't mad, and it's not your fault.  I promise it's not.  Please, tell me what's going on.  I need to know.  I just got you to open up to me, but please, don't let me lose you.  Please Carina."  Jonah pleads.  

"Call."  I start, once again in my broken voice.  

"Call who?"  He asks desperately.  

"Friends. And. Explain."  I whisper.  He nods takes my phone gently from my grasp and then gives it back for me to put my pass code in.  I want to but my body won't cooperate.  I finally make my body move and type in my pass code.  He then calls my friends.  

"Ellie?  Brooke?"  He says.  

"Yes this is Jonah.  Actually I'm calling about Carina.  She's living with us now, but something happened and now she's barely talking and has a broken voice.  It's almost like she's trapped inside of her self."  He explains.  

"What do you mean this is bad?"  He questions.  

"Why do you need my address?"  He asks after a pause.  

"Oh, you're coming over?  Whatever.  It's 2109 Ashnight Court.  Just say that you are Carina's friends, and I'll tell the guards you are coming.  Kay, see you in a bit."  He finishes as he hangs up.  

He looks over at me, giving me a once over and then walks out of the room.  He comes back a few minutes later, but I still haven't moved.  He get's a notification on his phone and soon my two besties rush in.  They spot me and push Jonah out of the room.  Literally.  

They then come over and sit next to me on the bed.  

"Car, come back.  Break the surface.  Break out of that cage, that hole.  You can do this.  Push it out of the way.  Come back to us!  Plus you have a lot to explain to us."  Brooke finishes with a joke, causing a small smile.