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"What did I do?" I asked Travis as he started to pack up his things. He was going home to Texas after seeing his car messed up.
He barely even talked to me since then. We didn't even make it to dinner which made me upset. But, he told me it wasn't about me and that this was his time to figure out everything.
I knew I shouldn't have even given him a chance. I was completely turned off. I just wanted to know if it was me. But, I wasn't getting any answers tonight. One part of me was blaming myself and the other part was blaming him. Maybe, it wasn't anyone's fault and this was Gods plan. I just felt so uncomfortable.
Not knowing what was his next move was bothering me. Are we still friends at least? I didn't want our relationship to fail already. We barley even dated. I didn't want this to just be a summer fling, over the course of weeks I've become really attached to him.
I sat on my bed waiting for him to at least acknowledge me. I guess I'll be waiting forever. He walked out the room just ignoring me. He didn't even look back. This was very odd. I was so confused and hurt. I didn't even follow behind him. If this is what he wanted I'm going to give it to him.
Hearing the door close was all I needed to confirm everything. This was the end. I'm unsure how I feel I didn't know if I should cry or scream.
I wasn't in love with him. I don't think. But I do love him. I can't just get over him so easily.
Opening my email, I went to my trash and opened the email I was sent by that crazy girl. I read it and decided to try and find her on instgram. I knew it was a bunch of lies. He didn't get anyone pregnant. She was just being messy.
But, I pray he wasn't with me and her at the same time.
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"Thank you, for meeting up with me." He said with a soft smile.
I kept my eyes on my plate. I was really just hungry, I was still upset at him and everything else that was going on in my life at the moment.
"I guess."
"No, I really mean it. Look, I'm sorry how I reacted. You didn't deserve that and you know I love you but I didn't show it in my actions," he grabbed my hand making me look up at him. Our eyes locked and I could tell he was being truthful.
"I know you have a lot going on in your head right now, I've behaved like an asshole. You didn't deserve that. You actually deserve answers to why I behaved that way."
"I do."
"It's all complicated but I promise once I figure out the words you'll be the first to hear from me. I am serious about this. I still love you and I know deep down you still love me. Am I right?"
"Why do we have to bring up that?" I asked him while pulling my hand away and cutting my bread.
I had a lot going on at the moment. I wasn't ready to talk about love right now. I didn't even know what love was anymore. I was taking so many steps backwards. But maybe this is the plan. I wouldn't just jump out and do something without thinking first.
Even though I was hurting, I wasn't going to let this stop my life and wait around for someone that can leave me so easy.
"Because, I love you and I want to hear you say it back to me."
"Well, I'm not ready.." I glanced up at him expecting him to blow up soon.
"That's fine, Kennedy." He paused biting his lip. "I learned from last time. I won't force you to do anything you don't want to. When you're ready I'll be here."
"Thank you, Memphis." I gave him a small smile.
I felt like he did change. People make mistakes when they're younger but I shouldn't hold it over his head. I'm not going to fake like I don't love him. Because I do.
