Method of Desire

Chapter 45

Was I right for leaving Marlon after we just slept together? Probably not. But I couldn't understand what happened to him. Something about him is different, and I don't know whether or not it's genuine.

I laid in the bed of my dormitory, soaking in a book. Suddenly, my door opened and it was Marlon. He looked upset, and I could understand why he was.

"Is the security downstairs just for decoration?" I asked sarcastically and he shut the door behind him. He stood in front of me, wearing a T-shirt and jeans. He stuffed his hands in his pockets.

"What?" I asked, closing my book. I laid on my side, hoisting myself up by the elbow.

"You..." He began, but he couldn't find the words. He sat next to me on the bed and looked in my eyes.

Marlon didn't know how to always be sensitive and emotional. This was all new to him. His norm was to get aggressive, and that's exactly what he did.

"You left me high and dry!" He spat at me. "Without a warning, if I hadn't woken up you would've been gone."

"I needed space." I blinked at him.

"You had space for a whole damn year!" Marlon shouted. "I'm back, and you left me. Willingly!"

"Don't act like you wouldn't have done the same!" I shouted back as I sat up.

The truth came out, to Marlon and to myself. I was afraid of him hurting me. I wouldn't let him in because I feared him walking right back out.

Marlon placed both hands on my shoulders, and stared into me.

"Look at me." He said in a growl. "I have never done this before. And obviously, neither have you. Can we push all of our bullshit to the side for two seconds and try to actually enjoy each other's company!?"

"You want to enjoy my company? Here Marlon, enjoy my company!" I said mockingly. I stood up off the bed and lifted up my skirt. "Here I am Marlon, I'm all yours!"

I bent over the bed in a mocking way, poking my butt toward him.

"Don't you want to fuck me Marlon? That's all you seem to want to do!" I cried out and he grabbed my arm and stood me up.

"I can't be the guy you want me to be if you don't give me a chance!" Marlon shouted as he held my arm. "I went out of my damned way for that carriage—"

"Oh the carriage! You got us a horse and carriage! How noble of you Marlon! How great you are!" I paced the room and waved my arms exaggeratively. "So great that you starred in one stinking shit pile of a movie this year!" I screamed at him.

Marlon stood there, still. The only thing that moved was him playing with the ring on his finger. His jaw clenched, and he walked towards the door.

"Marlon, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it..." I ran after him, trying to stop him from leaving. I tugged on his clothes and tried to get him to spin around as he began turning the knob. "Marlon please!"

"I don't know what your problem is." Marlon faced me and announced in way too calm of a voice. "I don't know if I'm too sexual for you, I don't know if it's because we're different races, I don't know if it's because I'm an actor and you're not."

"It's not that..." I said with tears in my eyes. "It's not any of those things."

"I was thinking of selling the apartment with Wally, and moving to Cali for good. Did you know that?" Marlon asked.

"No..." I said in a low voice.

"Of course you didn't because you're too stuck in your own damned world." Marlon spat back. "I stayed to be near you, Patricia!"

He stared at me, and gathered his thoughts.

"All I know is that despite all of our differences, I love you Patricia. I don't care if you're a woman who wants a career, I don't care if you have the most demanding and fiery attitude the world has ever seen..." Marlon listed and I laughed with tears coming down my face.

"I don't care if you get up and leave me Patricia, all I care is that you come back to me. I don't care if you fuck James, or Paul, or whoever you set your eyes on..." Marlon continued. "I don't care if we have an open relationship like I prefer or if we're just you and me."

He stepped toward me and placed his hand on my waist.

"All I know is that I love you, Patricia. And all I need to know is that you'll let me love you. You don't have to love me back, but at least let me in." Marlon said softly while looking into my tears eyes. "Because if I can't do that, I don't know what I'd do."

I kissed Marlon, and he kissed me back. We intensely couldn't keep our hands off of each other, and I quickly locked the door.

Marlon yanked the belt of my night robe with one swift motion, and I quickly shrugged it off. He took off his shirt and we both fiddled with his belt.

He laid me down and made love to me, in the most tender way. He wasn't rough, nor was he in a race to get anywhere. He just wanted to be near me in the closest way possible.

I held onto his shoulders as he slowly thrusted on top of me, and looked up at the ceiling as he kissed my cheek and neck.

Marlon Brando was finally mine, in that moment, I knew he didn't belong to anyone else.