Of Numbers and Strange Friendships

Chapter 37

Loki sighed and took a seat on his favorite couch in his sitting room and gestured for Peter to take a seat as well. This wasn't a conversation he was looking forward to. He'd been dreading it since he and Peter had become friends. But it was a conversation he'd known he would have to have with Peter at some point. He'd hoped he would have more time before he had to have this conversation with his best, his closest friend.

Before he risked losing his friend.

Would the teen understand?

Could he understand?

He was so innocent and naive in so many things. He'd accepted Loki without a second thought. Would he, could he, accept the things Loki had done? The decisions he'd made?

Obviously, he knew that Loki had been considered a villain. He had come up with that ridiculous number system because of it. But Loki didn't know what the kid really knew of the battle of New York. Of the things Loki had done.

Would he still be his friend when he knew?

Loki had to risk it.

Peter deserved the truth.

From the God of Lies especially.

Peter deserved the truth.

Why was it so hard?

Loki didn't realize that he was playing with his hands, picking absently at his left palm as he tried to come up with the words he needed. He was known as silvertongue and trickster. He was known for tricks and lies.

He needed the truth now.

Not a story, not a fabrication, not an excuse.

He needed to give Peter the truth.

He needed to risk his best friend's care and friendship. He had to let his friend go and see if he would remain his friend.

"The story is a long one and not one that is particularly pleasant," Loki started, looking at his hands as he spoke. Peter realized that despite that he had asked a flippant question about why Loki had hidden his fiancee, he was getting a serious answer in reply. There was a legitimate reason for the secrecy. Peter waited patiently, especially difficult for the spider-child with ADHD, and listened to Loki tell his story.

Along with being the God of Lies, Loki was also the God of Stories.

No matter how awful the events of the story were, the telling of it would be fantastic.

Peter nodded to show Loki he was listening and Loki continued. "I did things I'm not proud of, though I thought they were best at the time. Thor was banished to Midgard, Father fell to the Odinsleep, and the throne passed to me on Mother's orders. Before Thor was banished, he ignited a war between Asgard and Jotunheim. I did everything in my powers to stop the war, though I was sabotaged by Thor's idiot friends refusing to believe I had a plan," he shook his head, shaking those thoughts aside, that part of the story was neither here nor there. "Sig and I had been engaged for years by then, have been friends since we were children, but it hadn't been the right time to get married yet. I fell from the bifrost after the Jotuns were dealt with and ended up in the care of Thanos and his associates," Loki shuddered at the memory. He looked up at Peter's hand on his shoulder, offering him comfort and support. He gave his friend a small smile.

"Everyone thought I was dead. At the time, I thought I would have been better of if I had died. Midgard would have been better off. I was tortured before Thanos forced me to attack New York, to attempt to get the infinity stone and take over Midgard. You know the tale, how I orchestrated the Avengers assembling and made sure I would be defeated so Thanos would not win. It was the best I could do. I am not proud of the things I did under Thanos' thumb, or while I was king of Asgard-"

"It was mind control, Loki!" Peter protested. He couldn't stop from interrupting any longer. "It wasn't your fault!"

Loki inclined his head. "That does not mean I am proud of the things I did. I did terrible things and I knew Midgard thought of me as a villain. Hel, Father thought of me as a villain and threw me in the dungeons until Mother begged for my release. That is why I am serving that ridiculous penance on Midgard. Father had to save face somehow. Anyway, when I came to Midgard, I thought it best not to let anyone know about Sig, and Thor agreed to keep the secret. I did not wish for her to be in danger if knowledge of her existence came to light. I would not risk her safety when I did not know how hostile the Midgardians would be toward me because of how I'd hurt them, regardless of fault. I would not risk any of my enemies discovering her and coming after her," his voice sounded pained at the thought of his lady love in danger. It had been unthinkable.

"Thanos knows I am alive and that I failed him. I do not hope to think that I will escape his wrath forever. I have been working with the team, Father who finally believes in the threat, as well as the idiot Midgardian sorcerer to establish a plan for the day he does come for me, for Midgard, for all of us," he paused, fighting back terror at the thought of Thanos coming after him, of the things Thanos would do to him for failing. He'd been tortured until Thanos had broken his mind, bending him to the mad titan's will, and that was before Loki had failed him.

"I had not spoken with Sig since I took the throne in Asgard. I refused to put her in danger when we faced war and I refused to put her in danger afterwards. Things have changed in recent months, though. The people of Midgard see me as an Avenger now. They have realized that I was a victim in the battle as much as they were," he paused again, regathered his thoughts. "Sig is not entirely safe with me, but she has forgiven me for keeping her safe. I am a warrior of Asgard after all and it is to be expected. She is as safe as I can make her and it is time to stop trying to hide her to keep her safe,"

Peter thought over Loki's words. "You missed her," he accused. That was why Loki had introduced her now.

Loki inclined his head. "And I missed her. She was my near constant companion since we were children. She was raised in the palace and studied magic with Mother alongside me. We were not separated until she went to continue her magical education at the Academy and I had to take on more responsibilities and lessons in ruling in my duties as prince of Asgard. Even in those years I saw her as often as we could. It was not until these last few years that we were truly separated. And I hated every single moment of that separation,"

Peter hugged him tightly. "I'm glad you have her back. And I'm glad you have someone to love that much," he told his friend.

Loki breathed a sigh of relief that Peter didn't think less of him for his past or the decisions he'd made. "Two, Arachnid, because you are wearing Asgardian court clothes and I have photographic evidence to show to your friends. And Aunt,"

"Delete that footage!!!" Peter demanded in a wail and Loki burst into laughter.