Of Numbers and Strange Friendships

Chapter 45

Loki's skin had gone entirely blue. His illusion had shattered under the cold of the jotun's touch and he was left vulnerable as he looked at his blood-brother with horror in his crimson eyes.

He could believe that Peter accepted that he was genderfluid, that he was both male and female. Peter was trans after all, that made it easier to accept. Not that Peter needed such an excuse, but it was true all the same.

This?

This was different.

Loki wasn't human.

He wasn't Asgardian like he claimed to be.

He was jotun.

He was a monster with blue skin, crimson eyes, and strange markings on his skin.

He came from a feared race of barbarian savages.

And now Peter absolutely knew the truth and saw Loki for who and what he really was under his illusions. He saw the monster under Loki's skin.

Loki waited with bated breath for his blood-brother's reaction. He ignored the battle raging around them, ignored the other frost giants, ignored Thor, who knew what he was, and Sig, who like Peter knew, but hadn't seen. Right now, his focus was on Peter, on his unlikely friend, on his blood-brother.

Loki wouldn't be able to stand it if Peter rejected him for this.

And still he expected to be rejected.

How could anyone accept a monster like him?

His own father, the man who had adopted him, had taken him from jotunheim, had never accepted or loved him. He'd taken Loki from his home only to be a pawn, a hostage for peace. The last heir to the jotun throne. He had said that he had rescued Loki from death being left alone in the temple to die.

Loki hadn't believed the words then.

He didn't believe them now.

Why would Laufey leave his heir to die? It didn't make any sense with a war going on and no guarantee that Laufey would survive to create more heirs. He wouldn't get rid of the one he had, even if Loki was a runt by jotun standards.

It was much more likely that Loki was left there for safety while his biological parents fought the Asgardians.

Loki would never really know the truth, as Odin would never tell him and Laufey was dead.

The battle seemed to freeze around Loki and Peter as all of these thoughts swarmed Loki's mind. He was so sure that Peter couldn't handle it, that he was about to lose his best friend, his blood brother, because of what he was.

Then the flurry of battle seemed to start again, though it had never really stopped. It had only seemed that way to Loki's enhanced perception. Loki ignored the battle, his attention on the young man in front of him.

Peter ripped off his mask to stare up at Loki, giving Loki his full attention. He took in Loki's appearance, took in his blue skin, his jotun form, took in the lines on his skin, his crimson eyes. He took in the haunted fearful look in Loki's eyes. His eyes widened in surprise, then shock, then horror and landed on fear. Terror and panic filled the young man's expression.

Peter said he always wore a mask for two reasons: to protect his aunt by having a secret identity and so his enemies could never see how afraid he was.

So there was only one reason for him to remove his mask now:

He wanted Loki to see his fear.

And Loki's heart shattered.

He couldn't bear the thought of that fear on Peter's face. Of the fear of him. Loki had never harmed the child, had somehow befriended him, had laughed and joked and become more than friends. They'd been family

Until now.

Now, Peter was afraid of what Loki was.

He couldn't handle the monster under the skin.

"Loki, your illusion. Put your illusion back on!" Peter told him frantically, panic in his words. He glanced around them and used a web to grab Thor's cape and yank it off of him, throwing it over Loki in a desperate sort of panic as he his Loki from view.

Wait.

This was panic, not true fear, but something else in Peter's eyes.

What was the spider doing?

He wasn't irrational, even afraid. Sometimes he was stupid and a teenager, but his decisions were rational, even when wrong.

So what was he up to?

"Arachnid?" Loki asked softly, fear creeping into his voice, though he tried to hide it, tried to hide his heartbreak at Peter's reaction.

At the fear he saw in Peter's eyes.

At the rejection he expected to see there.

Then he realized, there was no rejection in Peter's eyes. Just that panicy fear.

"They're after you, Loki," Peter said, terror in his voice, though he spoke quietly so only Loki could hear. "They're looking for the lost prince of Jotunheim. That's you. You're Laufey's son!"

It hit Loki then. Peter wasn't afraid of him. Peter was afraid for him. Afraid that he would be dragged back to Jotunheim, to a land he didn't want to live on or rule. He didn't want to lose his blood-brother, lose his friend.

He was trying to save Loki, not reject him.

Loki nodded and worked to summon his illusion back. It took a minute as the battlefield was cold with so many jotun around. He hugged Peter when his Asgardian form was back, relief flooding through him. "Don't fret, arachnid. We'll deal with the danger. Everything will be alright,"

Peter nodded, trusting that Loki could fix anything. Loki looked to Thor. "We cannot allow them to escape," he told his brother. "They know," he prayed that Thor wouldn't ask, and his brother didn't.

Instead they turned to defeating the jotuns. Thor insisted they leave as many as possible alive and just send them home. Loki agreed on the condition that he was allowed to erase their memories. He wouldn't risk being caught and dragged back to jotunheim.

He wouldn't lose his friends or family.