The Ramsey Brothers

Chapter 15

I was lying here in Luke's bed, glancing through each page of his journal. I would be lying if I said I wasn't crying. The poems he had in here were so deep. Like I said before I don't usually like poems. They make me cringe but for some reason Luke's didn't. Maybe it was the fact that they weren't cute, love poems. They were dark and depressing.

•

I am numb.

I can laugh but no longer hear it,

I can speak but no longer feel the words slip out of my mouth,

I can cry but no longer feel sadness,

I can breathe but no longer see the point.

I am depressed, I am numb, and I am dying from the inside out.

•

You don't know pain until you're

staring at yourself in the mirror

with tears streaming down your

face and you're begging yourself to

just hold on and be strong.

That is pain.

•

You made me crawl into the the darkest corners of my mind. Now I can't sleep, I can't think right. It's all thanks to you.

•

Injuries are nothing compared to the pain I feel inside me.

•

There was so many sad, depressing poems that I had to stop myself from reading them and continue looking through the other pages of his journal. I came to a complete stop. I wiped away my escaped tears and my mouth slightly opened in shock. These drawings of his are amazing. He's so talented. I honestly thought about asking him if I could take his drawings home with me and hang them up on my wall. His drawings are beautiful but you can still see the sadness in each drawing.

After looking through some of his drawings. I was getting ready to turn the next page but Luke suddenly grabbed onto the journal and took it right out of my hands.

"Hey, wait! I wasn't finished!"

"Yes you were."

"Luke," I groaned, rolling over on my side so that I was closer to him. I tried to grab the journal but he kept pushing my hands away. "Why are you trying to hide what's on the next page? Is it really that bad that I can't see it?" I asked. Still trying to get his journal from him.

"There's nothing on the next page."

"Then let me see it."

"No."

"Luke!" I was now half way on top of him, trying to reach for his journal. A smirk appeared on his face as he looked at me. "Why are you smirking?" I asked, furrowing my eyebrows.

"I just didn't know you wanted to be this close to me so badly." I blushed and quickly rolled away from him.

"I was only trying to get your journal," I crossed my arms, looking up at the ceiling.

"Liar. You know you just wanted to be on top of me."

"Luke stop." My whole face was probably a bright red from embarrassment.

"Aw, am I embarrassing you?"

"Luke..." I sighed.

"Fine I'll stop but only if you make pizza with me," He stood up and walked over to his closet, pulling out a dark red t-shirt and black boxers. He then threw them at me. I sat up and gave him a confused look.

"What do you want me to do with these?"

"Wear them."

"What why?"

"Because I figured you would want to change into something comfortable since you're going to be here for a while. I mean you aren't going home anytime soon. Are you?" He asked, staring into my eyes.

"I guess not. Um, thank you."

"No problem. Put them on and then come to the kitchen."

"Okay." He left with his journal still in his hand. I sighed, wishing he would of just left it here so I could sneakily see what's in the next pages. I am so curious and it's driving me crazy. I ignored it for now and quickly changed into Luke's clothes. That I might add smelled amazing. Well his shirt did. I wasn't about to smell his boxers...I'm not a weirdo.

I left Luke's room and went to the kitchen to find Luke putting cheese on a big pizza. I walked over to him and stood by his side, looking down at the pizza. "Homemade pizza?" I questioned.

"Yup. Wanna help out with the toppings?" He asked, moving the different pizza toppings in my reach.

"Of course!" I smiled, grabbing some pepperoni and placing them in different spots on the pizza.

"Okay let's get it into the oven now," He took the pizza and placed it into the oven. He turned back around and faced me. "You aren't planning on leaving me and my brothers anytime soon, right?" He asked randomly. Why would he ask something like this? Of course I won't.

"No why?"

He stepped closer towards me, making my heart beat a little faster. Our bodies only had a small space in between but if he or I moved any closer towards each other our bodies would be touching. "Because I'm getting use to you."

"What do you mean?"

"Haven't you noticed how I'm more talkative around you now?" I nodded. Now that he mentions it. He has been talking a lot more. I just hope he'll stay like this. I really enjoy talking to him. "It's hard for me to let people in and to talk to them. I usually just talk to my brothers but now I'm talking to you and it feels good," He moved closer towards me. Our bodies now touching. He looked down at me and my heart is beating like crazy. "I'm afraid you'll leave though."

"I won't," I answered a little bit too quickly.

"But you will. No one ever stays around us Ramsey brothers for too long. We are too much to handle. We all have way too many problems and it will only make you run away."

"I promise it won't, Luke."

"Don't make promises that you can't keep," He brought his hand to my cheek, cupping it. I glanced up at his eyes and then his lips.

"I'll keep this one."

"Shhh," He said as he slowly brought his face towards mine.

"We are home!" Jai shouted, startling Luke and I. Luke removed his hand from my cheek and stumbled backward. I glanced around awkwardly until my eyes landed on Jai who came into the kitchen with Ashton and Liam following right behind him. Liam gave me a cute smile and Ashton gave me a quick wink before he smirked.

"Hey princess," Ashton walked over to me, pulling me into a hug. I wrapped my arms around him and took in his amazing scent. "We should go in my room. Okay?" He whispered.

"Um, why?" I whispered back.

"Just to talk. I missed you." I couldn't help but smile at the fact that he missed me. Although I'm pretty sure we just saw each other not too long ago.

"Alright let's go." He pulled away and grabbed onto my hand, leading me out of the kitchen. I glanced back at all the boys to see them frowning but Jai who just wiggled his eyebrows at me. I rolled my eyes and turned my head away from them.

Hey sorry this update took forever. It got deleted so I had to redo it all over again and it was such a pain. :/

Oh and I didn't write those poems. They aren't mine. I just found them so I take no credit for them.

Anyways I hope you all liked it. Please make sure to vote and comment. It means a lot when you do. :)