As Real as it Gets

Ricks Will be Ricks (Chapter 11, Part 3)

Taking a deep breath, you slowly made your way down the stairs while holding onto the gun for dear life. A bunch of dead Ricks all scattered on the floor gave you the chills. When you crept downstairs and took in the sight of the blown up entrance door, a lot of Ricks were also seen standing in the living room. They whispered something among each other before they all turned to you.

"Get out of my house, you bunch of psychos!" You yelled.

One of them started walking over to you, but stopped when you raised your weapon, "Don't you worry, we'll take you right to your boyfriend." He spoke.

"My boyfriend insisted on me not going to your interdimentional Neverland so I'm gonna trust him and say: Fuck off."

He motioned with his hand and before you could shoot or run away, another Rick shot your gun and it flew out of your grasp. Two more grabbed you and handcuffed you behind your back. As they opened a portal to take you to the Citadel, another laser-wielding robot activated and swiftly started killing them, but one Rick hid behind you. The robot detected you and didn't shoot, so it turned off. The remaining Rick that was left alive started panicking and went to quickly take you through the portal.

"Wait!" You struggled to break free.

He stopped just in front of the portal, "What?"

You quickly thought of something and looked him the eyes, "You're not like the other Ricks... there's something about you... you're different."

A slight red tint appeared on the Rick's face, "Wh- what...?"

"You're like nothing I've ever seen before," You smiled, "You're special, I like you."

He was struggling to speak understandable words and was having trouble meeting your gaze, "B- but you- you have a boyfriend... already."

"He's nothing compared to you." You spoke longingly, "Your extraordinary courage, endurance and outstanding wit take my breath away. Plus I fucking love guys in uniforms."

The Rick smiled as he looked at you, "Are you serious?"

"Yes! I want to be yours more than anything!" You lied with enthusiasm. He released you from the handcuffs and took your hands in his. You tried your absolute best to stay in character when he started leaning down to kiss you, "At least buy me dinner first." You stopped him just before your lips touched.

He opened his eyes, "Good idea! The Citadel has this amazing restaurant, you'll love it."

"Sounds great!" you said.

The Rick opened a different portal and both of you stepped through. You found yourself in front of a smaller, but well-kept restaurant in the middle of a busy street. Flying cars rushed across the sky as they avoided the tall glass buildings. All kinds of Ricks and Mortys walked along the pavement, almost all of them glared at you with confused looks on their faces.

"This is the place!" The Rick opened the door for you.

'Jesus Christ, what did I get myself into?' You thought as you stepped into the restaurant.

You sat down across the table from your 'date' while he just gazed at you with a smile plastered on his face. Other people did not shy away from staring and whispering as if you were some sort of freak show. Glancing at the menu, a soft chuckle escaped when you realized that all the weird combinations of dishes, that were seemingly random, were everything that Rick liked. It made sense because it was created by Ricks, for Ricks. A Morty waiter walked over and even though he too was taken aback by a female in the citadel, he tried to be polite and asked for your order.

After you ordered, the Rick sitting opposite of you tried to start a conversation you were not interested in, "Have you ever been on Venzenulon 3?"

"Excuse me, I'll be right back." You stood up and strolled to the bathrooms. A decision had to be made when you were met with a Rick and a Morty bathroom, and not the usual male and female ones. Thinking the Rick bathroom would be less weird, you stepped in and let out a sigh of relief when you saw no one inside. You locked yourself in a stall and sat on the closed toilet lid. 'How the fuck do I get out of this mess?!' The thought train was interrupted when quiet sobbing was heard from the stall over.

The noise broke your heart so you exited your stall and knocked on the locked door, "Leave me alone, please." A voice spoke quietly.

"Is there anything I can do to help you?" You asked empathetically.

The Rick on the other side sniffed, "You don't sound like a Rick or a Morty."

"I'm not. I'm Y/N."

"Oh, well..." the door clicked and slowly opened, revealing a Rick with crossed eyes and a bowl-cut, "I don't think there's anything that you can do... but thank you for your kind offer."

"I can listen," you spoke, "Maybe it would help if you just talked to someone."

He looked at you with a hopeful expression, "No one has ever done that for me before. Thank you, Y/N."

The two of you got out of the bathroom and sat on the other side of the restaurant, making sure your 'date' didn't see you. "So what's bothering you?" you asked.

"My Morty was injured on our latest mission, so he's been in the hospital for some time now and the doctors don't know if he's gonna make it." He tried to keep it together as he spoke.

"I'm sorry to hear that." You said softly, "I hope he'll get better."

"Thank you." He said, "Is it okay if I ask: Who are you?"

"It's okay." You smiled, that Rick seemed trustworthy so you spoke, "I'm Y/N and Rick C-137 is my boyfriend."

"Is he here? You know he has a reputation of not cooperating with the Citadel?"

"I know." You continued, "I'm here because my Rick is here and I'm worried that something bad might have happened to him. I wanna save him... and myself as well, preferably."

"How are you going to do that? Do you even know where he is?"

"I have no idea..." you sighed and looked at the floor.