hongjoong peeked his head around the corner, watching as seonghwa and mingi were watching tv.
because of something that almost happened the night before, mingi wasn't allowed to be alone for any long periods of time. yes, he just turned 17, and should be independent at this point, but because of his depression returning, he couldn't be.
jongho was currently over at eunsoo's house—yes, they were still going strong.
meanwhile, yeosang, yunho, and san were playing video games in yeosang's room. they were screaming quite loudly, but it made hongjoong and seonghwa happy to hear them enjoying themselves.
and, amidst all of this, wooyoung was alone in his room. he actually had been acting mostly normal since his and mingi's "big fight."
oh, right. the fight.
basically, what had happened was that wooyoung wanted to show mingi a tv show that he thought his brother would enjoy. but, there was a huge issue. wooyoung didn't think about the fact that it included depictions some of mingi's worst triggers in it. when they got to that part of the show, in the blink of an eye, mingi was begging his brother to turn off the tv. only then did wooyoung realize that the events in the show were triggering, and so he quickly turned off the tv, as mingi was trying to calm himself down and not cause a huge scene. but he was instantly filled with a feeling of anger.
flashback
"why would you play that, wooyoung?!" mingi immediately raised his voice.
"i wasn't thinking about it!" "but you know i have things that i can't stand to hear about or see!" "it isn't the first thing on my mind! why didn't you ask me to make sure—" "i trusted that it would be fine!" they yelled back and forth, their voices gradually getting louder as they went on.
mingi then choked out a cry as san walked in to see what was going on.
"well maybe if you were more cautious about—" "WELL MAYBE IF YOU CARED ABOUT MY FEELINGS—"
"guys, stop!" san yelled and ran over, as mingi and wooyoung looked like they were about to fight. mingi quickly pushed him away as he yelled.
"STOP BLAMING THIS ON ME! I JUST WANT YOU TO BE AWARE OF—" "I AM! BUT IT SLIPPED MY MIND JUST ONCE, STOP MAKING IT A BIG DEAL WHEN IT'S NOT!" "BUT IT IS! YOU'RE SO SELFISH, YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE—"
mingi was cut off by wooyoung grabbing him in an attempt to push him away. the older immediately grabbed wooyoung back, trying to free himself from his brother's grip.
as san tried his best to separate them, wooyoung shoved mingi down, causing the boy to stumble and fall on his side.
there was a moment of complete silence.
and then mingi began to cry. a lot.
his legs were shaking as he carefully stood up, clasping his mouth with his hands, then running into the hallway and to the bathroom.
jongho, who, along with yeosang, had been watching the fight happen from the end of the hallway, ran behind his brother to make sure he was alright. san and yeosang followed, leaving wooyoung completely frozen in the living room.
end of flashback
mingi was only given a warning not to get so angry, even if his argument was justified, while wooyoung was grounded for a long time.
wooyoung had also apologized to his brother, and though mingi accepted the apology, things were still weird. wooyoung was silent about the whole ordeal afterwards, while mingi was still upset over it.
but now, things seemed to be relatively normal.
five of the six boys were now seniors in high school. one more year until they were off to college.
to the parents, it felt like everything went by in a flash.
one minute they were signing adoption papers, buying baby toys, strollers, and setting up a nursery, the next minute, they were choosing cars for the boys to drive, getting ready for them to apply to colleges, and searching for jobs for them to get.
there were sometimes moments where the entire house would be at peace. no one talking, no tv's or radios playing, nothing. this was one of these moments.
hongjoong leaned his back against the wall in the empty hallway, and took a long, deep breath.
during all of this, he wasn't really angry.
he was just tired. emotions are exhausting.
he wondered why everything had to be like this. why did mingi's mental health have to fall back down so quickly after he was doing extremely well? why did wooyoung have to go through such a horrible experience that changed him? why did yunho have to suffer with the same overwhelming anxiety that a parent would encounter? why did-
his thoughts quickly vanished. there was a sudden feeling of someone wrapping their arms around the parent and giving him a tight hug, which caught hongjoong off guard.
"dad, why are you crying? is everything okay?"
somehow, during his thoughts, not only had hongjoong started crying, but he didn't even notice that jongho had gotten home.
the youngest had walked into the hallway, seen his crying parent, and hugged him.
hongjoong quickly hugged back, not even bothering to answer jongho's question at first. he didn't know why he was like this, but he just didn't want to talk. he really needed that hug.
after almost a minute of nothing, he finally spoke.
"i don't know.. i'm just... i really don't know. a lot's been going on.." he muttered.
"i know, i'm sorry. is it mainly about the mingi and wooyoung thing?" "no, not really. i mean, it's mainly just me worrying about mingi.. just a parent's overthinking, i guess." hongjoong responded.
jongho nodded. there was a moment of silence.
"but you know what? even though we're going through some struggles, seeing you and some of your brothers happy, and... i don't know, content? it's just really great to see. i'm really proud of you for how far you've come, you know that, right?" the parent smiled as he said.
he could see the realization in jongho's face that yes, hongjoong was right, he had come very far considering how bad things got for him.
jongho smiled. "thank you. i'm also proud of me." he said with a quiet giggle at the end.
AAAAA I FINALLY UPDATED i wonder how many times im gonna be like IM SO SORRY FOR BEING SO BAD WITH UPDATING even though i know everyone is patient and does not care. i just cant help but apologize hsgdjd so im sorry :((
also. so since like ....... my super toxic family have been one of the biggest reasons ive been struggling with my mental health, and since im starting to apply to colleges, i knew of this really good college that was right next to where my grandma lives, in a place that i love, which has good programs for me.
but . the best part is that if i go, ill get to get away from my toxic family, ill be able to be independent and finally get to freely express myself. so i applied to the college ..... aaaaand I GOT ACCEPTED INTO THE COLLEGE AAAAAAA :D
anyways im writing too much so hey. i love u. thank u for ur crazy amazing support its really awesome to see people say that they love this book cause it connects to them and their own experiences,, which was kinda my goal in a weird way hshdjsh
I LOVE U SO MUCH THANK U FOR EVERYTHING :D ill try to update quicker but no promises cause im probably always gonna suck at updating <\3
