My Hart

Chapter 46

After the long day I have had, I played the "I'm sick" card in order to be alone in my room. Tears began leaking from my eyes as everything that happened today replays over and over in my mind. My heart breaks for my friends at the loss they suffered today. The broken look on Aubree's face hurts me to my soul. 

I slide down my bed onto the floor as I let the tears flow. My foot kicked over my backpack causing me to remember the phone that was placed there by Sarah. I pulled the phone out of my bag and turned it over in my hands as I studied it.  I unlocked it and found that there was nothing else on the phone except the video and one phone number. 

I pressed play on the video as my heart broke just like it did when I was forced to watch it at school, only this time I could not control my tears. My body trembled as sobs wracked my body. I kept pressing play on the video, continuously breaking my own heart.

I brought my knees up to my chest, wrapping my arms around my legs as I laid my head on my knees as the video played from the floor as I cried.

Why did this keep happening to me? Did Ayden really love me? I twirl the promise ring on my finger as I questioned everything about us. The way he looks at me makes me feel loved. The way he holds me makes me feel loved. The way he makes love to me... another sob wracks through my body stopping my thoughts. 

"What the hell is this?" Ayden yelled startling me. I kept my face hidden as I heard the video now coming from above my head instead of the floor beside me. "Makenzie, where the hell did you get this?"

"Where do you think?" 

"Talk to me please, baby?" Ayden begged as he sat down beside me, shutting off the phone. 

I cried for a while longer before I could answer. 

"Why?" I asked as it was the only thing that I could get my brain to force my mouth to say.

" I did not cheat on you. I swear that video was before we got together. I had told Sarah I had a girlfriend because I didn't want to hook up with her anymore after I met you. She said your name because she knew I had a thing for you from the first time she seen us together at Kaylee's pool the first night we all hung out."

I slowly lifted my head and looked at him.

"Let me get this straight, she knew you had a thing for me that first night." I said looking into his eyes as he nodded. "Then you decided to fake having a girlfriend to get her to stop trying to hook up with you?"

"Yes. She assumed that you were my secret girlfriend. The way I hear it, everyone knew it before I understood what was happening to me." He said giving me a small smile.  

"You swear that video was before us?" I sniffled feeling a little better. 

"Baby, I swear. I stomped her phone because every time she said your name, I automatically became defensive. Even before you were mine." 

"Why did you fake having a girlfriend?" I questioned. 

"I don't know. I had a reputation before you. I guess I was afraid that word would get back to the guy's that I was turning down ass left and right and they would call me a pussy. I lied to the girls knowing they would start a rumor that the guys would never believe. Then I could complain to the guys about my dry spell, blaming it on the rumor." He sighed as he told me his truth.

"Oh." I said understanding what he did and how it could be easily misinterpreted.

"I don't want anyone but you. I'm sorry that things from my past keep fucking you over. I'm really trying to be the man that deserves you." He said studying my face.

"I need to practice what I preach and talk to you more." I said scooting closer to him. "There is something wrong with my brain sometimes that causes me to over think sometimes. Out of nowhere I will get this strong feeling like I forgot something important, or I missed something important and my brain just kind of runs away from itself. Then a feeling of betrayal or untrust washes over me that I just can't explain." I sigh as I lay my head on his arm. "It's like a dark cloud takes over my instincts and I constantly feel like I should be watching my back. I don't know why this happens." 

"I completely understand. This is all new to me too. I have never been in love before either." He said as he pulled my chin up, forcing me to look at him. "We both have a lot to learn. We will figure it out together." He said before placing a gentle kiss on my lips. 

He wrapped his arm around me as he leaned back on the bed, pulling my head against his chest. The room was quiet for a while as we just held each other.

"Ayden?" I said sitting straight up as I realized there was something else, I needed to tell him. 

"What's wrong?" He asked sitting up with me.

"The guy that was with Sarah when she showed me that video today, said to warn you that he would be 'seeing you around real soon'." I looked at him with worry.

"What did he look like?"

"He had crooked yellow teeth and a greasy long black ponytail. He smelled like a cigarette." I described to him. I left out the part that he held me against my will and forced me to watch that sick video Sarah played. 

"That was just her cousin. He's nothing to worry about. If he comes around bothering, you again let me know immediately." He gave me a look of warning. I nodded my head in agreement.

I excused myself to go wash my face. As I looked at my reflection in the bathroom mirror, I decided I needed a little more than cold water splashed on my face. I added a little concealer and foundation. I checked my appearance and decided it was as good as it was going to get without eight hours of sleep before going back to my room to search for Ayden. I went downstairs when I heard talking coming from the front door.  

"Hungry?" Ayden asked as he held up a bag after shutting the door.

"I could eat." I smiled as I met him at the bottom of the stairs.

" I love you." He said simply. He softly kissing my forehead before pulling me to the kitchen.

***

We sat curled up on the couch watching a movie with all of the lights out. Ayden laid with his head on the arm of the couch behind me as I lay with my head on his arm. I was so relaxed in my most favorite place in the world, which was Ayden's arms.

My eyes became so heavy that I could no longer keep them open. As I began to drift off to sleep, I felt Ayden pull the throw off of the back of the couch and cover me up with it. I cuddled against him even more before I let sleep fully consume me.