My Hart

Chapter 51

"I'm going to take Mak home." Brayden told Kaylee and Jonah.

"We're going too. What happened?" Kaylee asked concerned.

"Ayden cornered her alone in the hall." Brayden stiffened, clenching his fists.

We climbed into the limo and headed home. I felt better just getting away from that place. I told them what had happened.

"I'm so proud of you for slapping the shit out of him!" Kaylee cheered.

"I'll say it again...Makenzie's a badass!" Jonah joked.

"I feel bad for doing it, but that smirk he gave me... it told me everything you said was true, Brayden. It was so cruel; I had never seen that side of him before." My voice cracked.

"There's a party tonight. Who's in?" Brayden smiled at me.

"Don't worry about them being there. After wearing those heels tonight, her feet and ankles will be so swollen, all she will want to do is put her feet up." Kaylee said trying to get me to go.

"You guys go have fun. I've got to hang with my parents. I'm gone more than I am at home. I promised them a family movie night after prom." I declined. "You all should invite Jesse."

"I'll text you the address in case you want to come after your parents go to bed." Brayden said.

We got out of the limo in front of my house. Kaylee and Jonah said goodnight and waited for Brayden in the car. He walked me to the door.

"Thank you so much for going with me tonight." I said as we stood on my front porch.

"Thank you for choosing me to be the one to take you." He smiled tucking a loose strand of hair behind my ear. I knew he was going to kiss me, and I let him. There was no spark, no heat... nothing.

"Have fun at the party. I'll text you tomorrow." I said as I quickly went inside my house, closing him outside the door.

Movie night with my parents was a lie. I just wanted to be alone. I had been trying to ignore the truth about Ayden. Tonight, proved it was over. I had been holding onto us, but now it was time to let go. I got out of the shower and collapsed on my bed in my dark room. I sobbed like I had never sobbed before. My heart broke for the future I longed for. In sad truth, it was all a lie. I was humiliated. I've never been so weak in my entire life. I cried because I felt nothing when I let Brayden kissed me. He was everything Ayden pretended to be, but he wasn't Ayden. Why did I feel nothing?

"Are you with him?" Ayden asked as he emerged from the shadows in my room.

"What are you doing here?" Startled, I jumped up wiping my tears. I was hurt and wanted him to hurt, too. "Come to collect your check?"

"Are you with him, Makenzie?" He demanded.

"It's none of your damn business." I said wiping more tears that wouldn't stop.

"Why did you kiss him?"

"How long have you been spying on me?" I asked, starting to panic.

"I need to hear you say it." His voice was flat.

"No. No, I'm not, but I want to be." I said, my voice was as flat as his was.

"You want to be?" His voice sounded different I couldn't make out the expression on his face. "Then why aren't you?"

"Because he's not you, you fucking asshole!" I sobbed. Ayden's head dropped as he listened to me cry. He squatted down in front of me and pulled me in an embrace and I let him. After I got the tears under control, I lifted my head from his chest and looked up at him, wishing the electricity he made me feel was real. His hands found each side of my face, and without warning he kissed me. It felt like equal amounts of passion and want. At first, I kissed him back not wanting to feel dead on the inside anymore. I jerked my face away from his. We both stood up.

"Stop! Don't do this to me again!" I screamed, swinging my fists hitting him in the chest over and over again. He just stood there, not protecting himself. He was letting me release all the pent-up anger I had been holding in. When I started to wind down, he wrapped his arms around me, pinning me against him. I didn't fight him, I just wept.

"I love you so fucking much." He whispered in my ear, causing me to completely freeze. "I fucked up so bad, and now I have to live with what I did. I should have never lied to you, but I did. I lied to you because I thought you would never find out." He said his eyes full of regret.

"That morning in your room... you lied?" I asked, my voice cold as ice.

He nodded his head.

"What about the video on that phone?" Tears streaming down my face.

"It was before we were together just like I told you."

"Why wouldn't you just tell the fucking truth?" My temper starting to rise.

"I thought if you knew, you would have never given me a chance. I never thought you would find out. We weren't together when it happened. You made it pretty clear that you couldn't be with me. You didn't want to hear about my past, why are you judging me about it now?" He shouted.

"No! This is fucking different, and you know it!" I said walking circles around the room. "It fucking killed me to see that you had moved on so quickly, but I knew that it wasn't you cheating on me. We weren't fucking together!"

"So, you're saying we can work this out then?" He asked with hope in his eyes.

"You fucked that up when you fucking lied to me! You know how fucking hard it was for me to trust my love for you, and you lied to my fucking face for our whole relationship." Tears streamed down my face.

"I swear I will never lie to you ever again. Please give me another chance. Please, baby?" Ayden said taking my hands in his.

"I can't. If you love me like you say you do, you would have come to me to have this conversation before now. You let me feel like I meant nothing to you for over a month. I think you are only here now, because you saw me with Brayden. You don't want to be with me, but you don't want anyone else to be with me." I said pulling my hands out of his hold.

"I know you deserve better than me, that's why I have left you alone. But seeing you with him..." He paused. "It made me realize that I can't let the best thing in my life go without a fight."

"If you would have said these things to me at school that morning instead of treating me the way you did, we might would have had a chance." I said feeling numb.

"So, it's really over?" He choked.

"Yeah, I think so." I said calmly, letting my tears fall freely. I unclasped the chain I wore around my neck that held the ring he gave me. I placed the chain and ring in his hand as I sobbed.

"It will all work out, you will see. I'm not giving up. I'll never give up." He kissed my cheek as I looked at the floor avoiding his eyes. He placed a finger under my chin and pulled my face up making me look at him. Tears streamed down his face as he spoke. "We are forever, you'll see."

He kissed all over my face before finally landing on my lips in between his sobs. He walked to the door of my room. He paused placing the ring and chain on my dresser.  He stood there with his hand on the doorknob, never looking back at me before shutting the door. He was gone.

I crawled into bed still fighting the demons in my head. My soul was physically drained.