Scrapbook- Memorabilia of the Magical First Love

53. Rehabilitate

Hard times make you forget what happiness means.
Happiness is looking in the eyes of the one you love.

That is exactly what lovebirds Swarnima and Abhedya were doing.
Abhedya got up suddenly. His eyes were filled with saline water and he didn't want them to come out, not in front of his lady love.

"I'll be back." Abhedya moved a little far and wiped his tears vigorously. He wanted to control his emotions but could not. He checked his pockets but could not find the dose he was looking for. He fisted his palms, shut his eyes but nothing worked.

"Aby," the voice that called his name of 'love' did the magic. He turned around and with long strides reached where Swarnima was sitting. Since her return, she had stopped addressing him with his name. She either didn't speak to him or called him 'Raja sa' which pained his heart.

"Did you... Did you... Did you just call me..." Abhedya was unable to complete the sentence. The lump in his throat and tears in his eyes made it difficult for him to speak.

"What could I do? You are troubling me." Swarnima tried to sound annoyed.

"Sorry. I will just lie down." Abhedya thought he left abruptly and therefore Swarnima was angry.

"Aby," Swarnima addressed him softly this time. "What is wrong? You can't even figure out why I am annoyed?"

Abhedya just looked down. He wanted the pills which would give him stability and resilience. Unfortunately, he didn't have them. He didn't want to make an eye contact with Swarnima. He knew she will guess something is wrong. Swarnima lifted the chin of the man she lived to love so that she could read his eyes. What she saw made her scared and nervous.

"Let's talk," Swarnima ordered or requested she couldn't decipher.

"Yes, sure, let's... talk... Umm... What should we...?" Abhedya was certainly lost and so was their bond. They never required any topics to talk about. From silliest to most trivial issues their conversation was never restricted. When around each other their every organ spoke.

Swarmima gulped her saliva and questioned him, "Do you have anything to tell me?"

Abhedya's face lost colour. He swore to Arya last night that he will quit taking the pills but gradually. He was addicted to them. He didn't want Swarnima to know about it. She will hate him more.

"You will hate me more. I have done enough damage and I... Just wish to end this long list of the wrong I have done. You must rest for a while." Abhedya tried to divert the topic.

"Hate? You think I hate you?" Swarnima was disappointed to hear Abhedya's analysis.

"Despise me. If not hate." Abhedya looked at a far end and corrected the word.

"Huh! You know what, just don't claim you understand me because YOU DON'T! You are an idiot, moron, impulsive and a stupid boy. I... I... so wish to slap you." Swarnima was mad with Abhedya's reply.

"Go ahead. No one is stopping you." Abhedya turned his cheek towards Swarnima who was staring at him. What have they both done to themselves? They swore to be each other's happiness and they were the ones hurting each other. Making life miserable. This is not the life they wished as husband and wife. Were they happy as lovers? As friends? Was Kristina right? Love is an overrated concept, that only hurts and leaves you heartbroken?
Swarnima jerked at the thought. No way! All she had to do was take one step towards forgiveness and all Abhedya had to do was trust a little more on their bond. Will they be able to do that? She was a changed person now.