Scrapbook- Memorabilia of the Magical First Love

31. 'Mending' Broken walls

The equilibrium of heart and mind was never met.

While Abhedya's heart was saying he was misjudging, his rational mind was backing his words and actions. As Albert Einstein quoted...
"Rational mind is a faithful servant which is honoured by society."

"Arghhhh! What do you want Sona?? I... I... just don't know what to answer, anymore. Seriously. I need a break. I am not thinking straight and..." Abhedya walked to their room for changing when Swarnima caught his hand from behind and asked him with their backs facing each other... "you need a break from ME?" Her voice was shaky, her pulse rate was high and her hand was gripping his hand tight.

Abhedya removed her hand from his and walked towards their main bedroom without answering her. Swarnima was just standing there. What was happening she didn't know. She was about to take a step and fill the cracks in their home but Abhedya threw some dirt dirtying its walls. How was she supposed to clean this dirt? Not moving an inch and just standing there lost in her thoughts, Swarnima was staring at the sofa where Abhedya was sitting a few moments ago.

She felt dizzy so she sat on the sofa and closed her eyes. Her head pained and her heart just broke. Her paramour needed a BREAK? He lost his TRUST in her. He had no FAITH in her or their relation? Did he stop LOVING her? She opened her eyes which were black as the moonless night. Devoid of any emotion. She walked into their room and found Abhedya in the dressing room.

"Aby, I... I... I am sorry. I will never go without security anywhere. I will always listen to you. Josh is just my teacher, my mentor. Trust me! He had to show me something and therefore we went to a room. Please don't be angry. Please Aby..." Swarnima was begging him. The thought that he would walk away from her or stopped loving her if that was even possible, shook her to the core. She was shivering and her deep dark eyes told Abhedya he hurt her.

"Sona, relax! It's not... just today. Since we have married we are either fighting or just busy mending the relationship and making up for those fights. Sometimes, I am at fault, sometimes it's just the circumstances. But, it's painful and it's hurting. I am still trying to rebuild the lost trust because I broke 'our pact'. I know I hid things from you and did something you don't appreciate. Honestly, I was just flaunting the 'faith, love and trust' in our bond but it's crumbling and we need to gather it.
Sona, whatever you term it but since the start you know about my possessiveness and obsession with you. I CANNOT tolerate any man in your radius. Then be it your TEACHER/MENTOR. It's not that I don't TRUST you but I don't trust him. Today, I was told you met him without security and it just... huh! You won't even understand what I felt.
I think we need to work on ourselves else we will keep doing and saying hurtful things to each other. You have any idea, how difficult it is to sleep next to you and not  take you in my arms, kiss senselessly or make love to you?" Abhedya held Swarnima from her shoulders and looked straight into her eyes and confessed, "I love you, Sona. I do and I don't want us fighting. I need a BREAK to figure out what's changed after marriage. We need to analyse before it's too late and we end up how Kristina predicts." Abhedya left after giving her a peck on her forehead. With the sound of the shutting door, Swarnima took a breath and fell. She fell unconscious.

It was after about an hour that Swarnima gained consciousness but her head was spinning. She pressed her temples and with great difficulty picked up the pitcher in the room. She drank water and took deep breaths. Splashing water on her face and looking at her reflection in the mirror, she could not see herself. She tried to cry to ease off the pain but the tears just didn't come out. She slapped herself for hurting her 'love', her 'king' who she swore to protect and keep away from all pain. Rather she was the one who was the reason for his 'pain', his 'hurt'.

Changing into whatever she saw first in her drawer Swarnima walked out of the dressing room like a machine whose remote was in hands of someone else. She banged into the table and when it hurt her she finally gained her consciousness back. Looking around the huge but empty room Swarnima stepped out. It was haunting her.