⚠️TW for sexual assault⚠️
PLEASE READ i'll explain the misleading tittle at the end but still PLEASE read
hey been a minute y'all!! pls read because i'm fucking pissed and this is important. i have just learned that my friend, whom i have known since preschool, has been a victim of sexual assault. this happened a while ago. she only came out about it now because of the resent 97% thing.
can i be clear when i say this is the kindest person i have ever had the great pleasure of knowing. she is simply kind and loving and caring. she knows who she is and has the most conviction of anyone in my life. to hear that this is something that happened to her crushed me. she was 12. i swear to god 12 is to young for someone to know that kind of pain.
today i'm going to cover sexual consent. it is not the only place where consent is needed however it is what i feel i have enough research and knowledge to discuss. i may post more chapters in the future.
a quick disclaimer: i am not an expert. i have no training or degree in any of this. i have never experienced sexual assault. however, this book of one-shots has 15,000 reads and is the biggest platform i have. i felt a need to do what i could. that being said, let's begin.
Sexual consent
the basics of consent are simple. if someone says they don't want to do something you don't do it. however, there is much more to it than that.
yes, you must consider your partner(s) when engaging in sexual activity, but also remember that you, regardless of gender or background, have a right to consent as well.
consent is not nor will it ever be a skip-able step EVER. consent is a must to make sure both or all parties are not in any physical or emotional distress.
consent must be FRIES
F - freely given
• you can not force someone to give you consent
• force may include threats of physical violence or emotional manipulation
• force is not always physical and this can be easily forgotten
R - reversible
• if a person does give consent they have the right to take it away at any point in time
• consent to do something once is not consent to do it again
• no matter how far you have gone consent can be revoked
I - informed
• someone who is not informed of the risks that particular sexual activity may entail can not except those risks when giving consent therefore has not given proper consent
• these risks include, but are not limited to, STDs, physical injuries, pregnancy...
• if you personally have not done research into the risks or do not feel it is important enough then you are probably not ready to have sex
E - enthusiastic
• someone must give consent of their own volition
• you can not "convince someone" to give consent
• coercing someone into consent is not consent
S - specific
• sex is not just penetration it includes many other thing
• consent to one particular sexual activity is not consent to another (for example consent to oral sex is not consent for penetrative sex)
consent does not have to "kill the mood" in any situation. when asking or giving consent the language does not have to be "do you give me consent to kiss you?" "yes i give consent for you to kiss me." (but it can be if that's what you feel comfortable with) while verbal conformation is better for any large steps taken non-verbal consent exist. you can lean in part way for a kiss, allowing your partner to close the gap while still making your intentions clear. tugging on a garment and looking for a nod yes before taking it off. guiding your partner's had somewhere. all ways of asking for or giving consent. there are many more.
verbal consent can be sexy. if a girl leaned into my ear and went "do you want me to fuck you?" i might just melt. checking in on your partner(s) can be sexy too. "do you like that?" "no no i need to hear you say it" "tell me what you want me to do to you" foreplay and consent overlap.
discussing beforehand what you feel comfortable with is a good idea. it makes confusion and miss understandings less likely and you are less likely to push yourself past what you feel comfortable. (although remember a person has a right to take back their pre-discussed consent) if you feel this sounds awkward ask yourself why, do you trust your partner? do you know what you want? do you feel mature enough to have a straightforward discussion about sex? if the answer to any of those is no then you shouldn't be having sex with them or probably at all.
recap:
you and your partner both have equal right to consent
consent is not an extra step
consent is freely given, reversible, informed, enthusiastic, and specific.
consent doesn't have to be cumbersome
discussion beforehand is always good
this is a safe space. i will delete rude comments. if you need someone to talk to i'm here.
the misleading tittle: i have notice that my chapters with a ship name at the front get more views. this message was important to me and therefore i wanted it to be seen. i do not apologize because i do not regret it. please read if you haven't yet ^^^
YOU ARE READING
Haikyuu oneshots (mixed ships)
Romancehi lovely human beings 💐💐 i plan on just making a bunch of oneshots for different ships (i promise they get better as you move forward) most of them will be light and fluffy but every once in a while i'll through in some angst to spice things up (...
