IwaOi - Have you ever been in love?

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oikawa's POV

have you ever been in love?

are you still in love?

was it love if you answered yes to the first but not the second?

is love unconditional? i think so. i think love is rare, love is never ending regardless of time or distance or circumstance. and if you lose it, it wasn't love. but, sadly, love is not always requited.

i was there, i'm still there. i love him so much. he said he loved me. i thought he meant it. but when he told me that he had forgotten how i tasted in the mouths of so many others i didn't know what to do.

people say i talk to much. that i would probably say anything to avoid silence. that it almost seems like i'm afraid of it. but when he told me that this had been going on for several months i couldn't find anything to fill that gap. and they must have been right, because in that soundless moment i was more terrified then i had even thought possible.

i tried, i tried so hard, to make it work, to make us work. i love him so much that i didn't care what he did. i wanted us to work it out, but he told me that this was an unhealthy relationship and he didn't want to hurt me, he said that he cared about me to much to put me through that. Bullshit. if he cared he wouldn't have done it. if he cared he would have tried to work it out. but i can't be mad at him. i wish i could. but i don't think i'll ever be able to get over this love.

but none of that matters anymore, because here i am, sitting in the crowd at his wedding. just another face out of hundreds, not the center of attention, not one of the two standing on that pedestal. i'm only here because his fiancé/very soon to be husband is a childhood friend. they felt obligated to invite me. i felt obligated to attend.

after all it's been more than three years, i've had several partners and they've been together for most of that time. i've been happy in relationships but never in love, i have not yet felt the same way i did about him. 'tonight should be... interesting,' i think to myself. after the ceremony i walk over to the bar and sit down because holy shit i need a drink. i was not in the mood to talk but this is a wedding, so people are happy... and chatty. the guy next to me seemed kinda quintet though so it was fine.

i looked up at the bartender and decided to order, "could i have a strawberry daiquiri with lime mixed in and salt around the rim please." something is off, like i said that, but it wasn't just me, the aforementioned guy said it in almost perfect unison.
(i don't drink so i'm not sure if that's a real thing but i needed a kinda a strange drink to make it seem extra weird that they ordered the same thing)

i turned my head to meet eyes with an equally surprised man who looked to be about my age, "uh that was kinda weird but i guess it's nice to meet you." he says

'this is a wedding toru you can't sound like the sad sack of potatoes that you are,' i think to myself, "YES so nice to meet you!! how do you know the grooms?" i question figuring this would be a good jumping off point.

"ok that was the fakest ass cheery tone i've ever heard."

"my tone is always genuine and delightful!" i respond in a defensive tone- a little to defensive.

"whatever, it's none of my business. but i only really know Miko," i internally cringe at the sound of his name, "we uh... used to be kinda close, we hooked up a few times but then i found out he was in a like a five year long relationship and we haven't really talked much since. i was a little weirded out when i got the invite but i think they just invited everyone they could, doesn't matter how close. i did feel really bad about the whole cheating thing and i made sure he told the other guy. how do you know them?"

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