Rudra

20

Tears streamed down my eyes when I was in the parking lot of my house. For the first time someone made me feel wanted in their life, but today that 'someone' showed me that I wasn't that important to them.

Maybe just maybe, if I've found  Rudra first then it could have been easy for me to make him mine. Maybe then Rudra & Preshtha would have happened.

I absorb what all is happening to me and shook my head to shoo away those thoughts, but they didn't. I walked out of the car & head towards my house.

I ringed the doorbell but I didn't got any response

I ranged the doorbell of my house continuously, aai & papa are gone out for their own reasons. & Kartik? Must be showering or hooking up with someone or studies. I don't know the possibilities are endless.

After what felt like eternity, Kartik opened the door, anger was already fuming out from me.

"MI KITI VELA PASUN DOORBELL VAJWAT AAHE, TULA KALAT NAHI KA ?!! (I'M RINGING THE DOORBELL CONTINUOUSLY, BUT DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND?!!)" I screamed at him. This is probably the frustration which Rudra gave me which I'm venting of Kartik which is wrong but I'm so triggered right now.

"Chill, bubble" he said calmly and took a seat on the sofa. I took a seat on the adjacent sofa and scattered my stuff which I was going to gift to that Rudra.

"I WANT WATER" I again screamed and demanded my wishes, just for a while I want to be dominant. Just for a little while. I'll get back to normal soon anyway.

Kartik was looking scared at my sudden behavioural change. He nodded and brought me a bottle of chilled water, I grabbed it immediately and gulped down till the bottle was half empty.

I placed the bottle on the teapoy, and suddenly the scene flashed in front of my eyes the night Rudra came to have dinner. I smiled sadly thinking about it. I moved my gaze to Kartik and when I saw him I just couldn't stay strong. I started crying looking at him, he's the closest person I have in my life and it felt okay to be vulnerable in front of him.

His scared face turned into concerned face. He stopped looking at me and hugged me. I melted in his hug and sobbed out loud, thinking what has just happened in the past few months.

"Bubble, what happened?" he asked calmly, rubbing my back. I broke the hug and tried to smile but fuck I couldn't. I loved Rudra so much, I wanted to be happy for him but I could just find anger in myself towards him, did he really not felt anything towards me? Was I really a nobody to him? Maybe I wasn't that's why he choosed Kiara instead of me.

Kartik's voice interrupted my thoughts, and I turned my attention towards him, "I'm calling you since few minutes where is your attention Bubble?" He asked me.

"Umm.. I'm sorry" I said in a plain voice without any emotions.

"Tell me, why were you crying?" I didn't want to lie to him, he is my brother who helps me deal with my emotions so I just decide to vent up what was stored in my head.

"I-I realized that I have feelings for Rudra and today I was going to confess my love to him.." I choked out as if I'm living those words once again. Kartik patted me and encouraged to speak where I've left. I took a deep breathe, and I spoke again, "but when I reached there he said he is dating kiara"

I cried again thinking of Kiara and Rudra. I just imagined them having a happy life whereas I would be the one who would be crying. I don't want to feel this, ever. It feels as if there's a void in my heart, now that I don't have him.

'We are not attending his wedding' my conscience hitted.

'Why not?' I asked myself

Because you deserve so much better then this heartbreak.

Did I really?

Of course. You are diamond and he chose a stone.

My mind was trying it's best to keep my ego high.

And somehow I got convinced.

"It's okay Bubble, not everytime, you are supposed to get everything" he consoled me. He was saying the truth and I didn't want to believe that at all. I nodded at him and head towards my room to get a nap

It was night time and to get rid of my heartbreak I started eating ice cream when all of a sudden I got a notification from my phone.

I took it in no time and saw my WhatsApp. It was from Rudra. I opened his chat room and the messages which he sent made my heart break more.

It had some photos of him and Kiara where they were smiling and pouting for a selfie and in one they were KISSING. I am no one to judge it but, really? Did they get physical so soon? My heart burned at this thought and I wanted to smash both of them.

Rudra: look we are looking so great together.

Rudra: haha, she's my girl. tell me Preshtha you were hell jealous right when I told you that I was dating this girl who is my princess.

Rudra: I know you love me, but u know what makes my baby and you different?

Rudra: you wouldn't be able to guess that. but lemme tell you it's just that Kiara is someone who is going to be a top supermodel soon and you, you are nothing but a waste.

Rudra: you thought that I'll be with you? Hell no. Look at you and look at her. I will always choose her no matter what

And then he sent me a picture of her.

Breathe in

Breathe out

Breathe in

Breathe out.

I tried to calm my anxious mind rather than focusing on what was happening here right now. I blocked Rudra on every social media platform so that I don't get to face his bullying again. The person whom I admired so much was thinking so bad of me.

I was trying so hard to not let the wall of my self esteem break but it broke in a nanosecond and here I was doubting myself. If only I would have losed some of my weight...

"BUBBLE ARE YOU CRYING?" Kartik almost screamed out of the blue and came forward with a questioning and concerning face. I ended up crying in his arms, I somehow regretted wetting his shirt with my tears but I just couldn't bare what was happening to me. He snatched the phone from my hand and read the messages.

He was fuming with anger, as if he could beat the shit out of Rudra any moment.

"I can't believe this" he said in a plain tone but anyone could say the jeopardizing anger behind it. He took the keys of his car and rushed towards the door.

"Kartik you are not doing anything" I warned him

"I'll he had the guts to humiliate you. I'll humiliate him in front of-" he was completing his statement when our door bell rang. He dismissed the anger from his face and opened the door.

The person standing there was none other then Rudra.

I covered my mouth with my palm as more tears streamed down as I saw him and the way he thought about me.

A/N: forgive me. My writing skills in this chapter was so dumb. Im sleepy rn that's why. I'll edit it someday