Feral Mates

THIRTY-SIX

THIRTY-SIX
Nyxs POV

"Luna Emily has requested the results to be sent to her first, do you consent alpha?" My sister looks at me warily due to the question. Since we've been here the doctor has been mentioning my mother a lot. Judging from my sister's expression I'm assuming she does not understand how our mother fits within this conversation. Looking the doctor at her eyes I nod. "All right. You haven't taken your medication in six days," She quirks her brow, I look away to avoid her stare. "-but your vitals seem to have improved, bafflingly." A sense of relief washes over me, I hadn't realised how much I needed to hear such positive words. Especially about my health since everything else has been a mess.

"Do you have any idea why I kept blacking out?"

"Both your beast and wolf survive off instinct, disregarding your rational mind. We thought the dozing off must have been due to power battle, as usual..." Clearing her throat her eyes fall on Emma before settling on me again, she tries to shield her uneasiness by masking it with a smile but I caught on to it before the traces were covered. "Was there a moment wherein you witnessed or experienced something that could've altered your normal thinking? Perhaps you... and Alpha King Kai had a serious misunderstanding which may have altered the way your brain functions." Silence befalls the room with everyone's gaze focused on me. I'm confused about the question at hand so I raise an eyebrow for clarity. "What are you saying?"

"Are you and alpha King Kai still together?" It feels like interrogation really.

"No." It's in this moment when I realise that this is my new strange reality and sooner than later I must come to terms with it. If it were up to me I'd fly to his home and talk some sense to him in a way which may end up with me marked and crowned. Well, I think I would. But as long as he's not responding to my messages I'm doomed to endure these hardships until I find someone to lean on. That alone sends my thoughts into a very dark hole which I really struggle to remove myself out of. He was my rock, and to not have him with me is utterly heart wrenching.

"Nyx can you listen?" Emma calls out.

"I'm sorry... If that explains the passing out then what explains the visions and the dreams? As well as the sense of being present while I was not?" They pause. "We think there's something you're not telling us...Is there?"

"Yes." With my voice strong and gentle I respond.

"Alpha as long as your information remains inaccurate then so will our results. And due to that you will not receive the proper assistance."

"And you need that." Emma adds.

And still after a rough week I still couldn't speak of the experience I went through with anyone. Goddess knows how many instances I sat in front of my mirrors reciting a solid story to tell yet I could not will myself to say anything. I suppose a bigger part of me was ashamed of what they'd think of me. In most part I just didn't want these people's pity. The stares, people holding back on enjoying time with their mates because of me, people having to consider my feelings when saying specific things. I wanted normality in a world where nothing that surrounded me is like before. I can't elude the feelings. Sadly I cannot yet I need help. "I need that, huh." I repeat her words as my gaze lifts from the floor to her figure. My mouth opens and closes as words refuse to leave past my throat. I find myself gripping on the sides of the chair I sat on, taking in laboured breaths: "You can talk to us. It's a safe place." Emma tries reassuring me. Her face consumed in intrigue and a look of empathy due to my demeanor. "I can't." Leaves my mouth in a low whisper. "W-well can you at least tell us how you got the scars?"

"No."

"Maybe I can be excused so you can talk to your sister? Would that make you more comfortable?" I look at her and remember her own baggage of problems then shake my head not wanting to add more troubles onto her. "We have to help you! Plus you haven't spoken to anyone ever since you came back. I just want to he—" I zone her out and her bothersome complaints. After the pack party I did not speak with anyone, shutting myself in my house as soon as the morning after the traditional celebration ended. A number of people knocked on my door, Jazzlyn too, yet I could not muster the strength at that time to actually open up and hold a conversation. Now as she speaks I think about how detrimental my well being is. If I'm not well then my pack isn't, as head I must make sure everything is going along as properly as it can. Now that I've returned there's going to be pack meetings after pack meeting, combat practices and various people going in and out the pack requiring my word. Firm words.