three hearts in one home (l.s.)

nine months later

It’s just a few days after Jonah’s sixth birthday when he comes walking into the living room, wearing a big sweater and leggings.

“Harry?”, Jonah asks and sits down on the couch next to me.

I’m staying at their flat, once again. Both me and Louis think it’s necessary to wait a little longer before I officially move in. It’s ridiculous, probably, because I’m never at the boys’ flat anymore. This is my home.

Most of the time Niall stays at Amelia’s and Liam and Zayn have the way too big flat to themselves.

We all don’t want to admit it but it’s probably time we move out of our old flat.

“Yes, darling, what is it?”

He sits down in my lap and smiles shyly. I ruffle through his freshly cut hair and pull him in before kissing the top of his hair.

“I thought of something”, he says and shrugs. I smile and watch him chewing his lip, not continuing to talk.

“Want to share what it is?”

He frowns and nods at the same time, taking a deep breath before blurting out: “Yeah. I don’t want to call you Hazzie anymore.”

“No?”

He shakes his head, looking guilty. It hurts a little, hearing him say that, but it’s also fine. I know he won’t love me any less.

“That’s okay. If you think you’re too old for that, that’s fine. I’m totally okay with Harry too, baby.”

He shakes his head. “Not what I meant. Don’t want to call you Harry either.”

I raise an eyebrow, trying to understand his logic. “What then?”

“I thought that maybe, you can be Papa?”

My heart starts beating way too fast the moment he says that. I didn’t really think he’d ever want to call me something else than by my name, since daddy was already reserved for Louis.

I knew he loved me, he showed it every day, but I never thought he’d love me like a real parent.

“Would you really want that?”
He nods, shyly.

“Then I’d be more than okay with it, honey, of course I am. You don’t even need to ask.”

~~~

He doesn’t really say it afterwards, not naturally. When people ask him, who I am, he sometimes introduces me as his Papa but never did he address me as Papa directly.

It’s a little like he forgot about the conversation, like he doesn’t really feel ready for it and only noticed that after having the conversation with me.

I’m okay with it. I’d be happy if he did it, but I don’t want to pressure him, don’t want him to do something he’s not comfortable with, something that feels unnatural.

It’s four weeks before Christmas and I am about to bring Jonah to bed, Louis waiting downstairs for me so we can watch that new movie on Netflix.

We developed a routine by now, I haven’t stayed at my flat in over two months and we’re seriously talking about moving in together even though it’s only been a little longer than a year.

We usually take turns with tugging Jonah in, one night Louis, the other one me.

Sometimes he wants one of us to bring him to bed and we change the routine a bit but I’m really happy with how everything is going.

“J?”, I ask, walking upstairs.

“I am in the bathroom, brushing teeth”, he shouts and I can barely understand him with his mouth full of toothpaste.

I walk into the bathroom to find him with half his face covered in toothpaste, wearing the old sweater I gave him for Christmas last year, he insists to wear it to sleep every night.

“Honey, what did you do?”

He chuckles and shrugs. “Tried talking to you with toothpaste in my mouth.”

I laugh and pick him up, tickling his sides. “Stop it”, he shouts, giggling and trying to catch his breath, “Stop it, Papa.”

I stop immediately. I didn’t really expect it anymore.

Thought I am his Papa, but he’d still call me Harry, but there it was. That little word that made me the happiest person on the planet in that moment.

I put him down on the floor again, his cheeks are read, there’s still toothpaste all over his mouth and his hair is sticking to his forehead. He chuckles before he seems to realize what he just said. He smiles shyly. “I can say that, right?”

“’Course you can.”

He tries washing the toothpaste of his mouth before reaching his arms out for me. I pick him up and hug him tightly. “I love being your Papa, babes.”

He smiles and nods happily. “Good. I just said it, didn’t even think.”

I carry him to his room, still smiling and place him onto his bed. He tugs the blanket with cats on it up to his chin and smiles.

His dinosaur obsession ended about half a year ago and since then, he became even more obsessed with cats, begging Louis and me to get him one nearly every day.

I take his three cats and place them all on top of his belly. He smiles and picks Jeffrey, hugging him tightly.

“I love that you’re my Papa too”, he says, “Love being your son also.”

I smile and press a kiss to his cheek. “My baby.”

I lay down next to him and we stay like that for a little, cuddling silently before he grabs the book from his nightstand and grins excitedly.

“Last chapter today”, he shouts and grins excitedly, “Cannot wait.”

“You have to summarize the last one for me”, I say, “Daddy read it yesterday.”

Two weeks ago, the second part of his favourite book was released and we had to drive to the bookstore the same day to buy it.

“The crocodile found the treasure but since the monkeys are still keeping the pirate, he wasn’t able to help and in the end a woman appeared and stole the pirate’s sword.”

I nod, trying to understand the storyline and start reading.

When I read the last sentence, his fingers stop moving in my hair and his breath is regular and calm.

“Goodnight”, he whispers, eyes closed, “I love you, Papa.”

~~~

missed posting today so decided I'd post this now

<3