three hearts in one home (l.s.)

one day later

It’s later afternoon when we get the call from the hospital that everything is okay and we can take Noa home with us.

It’s one of the most exciting things, probably. Jonah stays home alone for the few minutes me and Louis are gone.

She’s dressed in a warm jacket and pants, her tiny feet covered in thick socks, her head by a hat. Her fingers wrap about ours easily when we offer it to her and she has her eyes wide opened when we arrive.

We thank Mandy a thousand times and promise to stay in contact. We of course will allow her to see Noa also after we officially adopted her, what will probably take a few more weeks.

“You gonna adopt Jonah too?”, Louis asks once we sit down in the car, him and Noa in the front, me in the back.

It’s a sudden question and a topic I’ve never thought of before. It’s weird, really. He felt so much like my son that I didn’t even realize there were further steps we could take.

“I don’t know”, I say, “I mean, yes. That’s a bit sudden, baby.”

“So you don’t want to?”, he asks, drumming his fingers on the steering wheel.

“No, honey. What’s that now? Why’d you think that?”

“I’m sorry”, he says and ruffles through his hair, “I know you might need time to think about it and I’m probably being unfair. It’s just that I don’t want Jonah to feel left out, never. I’m so scared he’s not going to feel welcomed anymore, because Noa’s growing up with you by her side and he’s only had you since he was five.”

“I don’t even need time to think about it, Lou. It was just very sudden and I’ve never thought about it before so it surprised me. ‘Course I’ll adopt Jonah too. It’s just, I’ve never thought about it. Everything felt so natural, so normal with him, that I didn’t even feel the need to become his parent officially, you know? Maybe it’s just me who’s got that feeling though. Maybe it doesn’t feel like that for you two?”

Louis smiles as he turns around and bends forward to kiss me. “Dummy. You’re so dumb, Haz. You’re the best Papa Jonah ever could’ve wished for. You’re so right. Of course, it feels all perfect and now that you say it, I suppose Jonah didn’t think about it either, he probably doesn’t even know that there’s the option. I just thought about it a bit those last days and it’d just make sense. Legally and maybe emotionally too. Especially when he grows older and understands even more of all this.”

I hear Noa whimpering and lean forward to adjust her pacifier that nearly slipped out of her mouth again before nodding.

“Yeah. You’re very right. We’ll talk to him about it once we find the time, alright? Then I’ll adopt them both. And we’ll officially be a family.”

Louis nods with a big smile and squeezes my knee once before turning back around and starting the engine.

~~~

Jonah is waiting at the entrance when we get home, smiling broadly when he sees Louis carry in Noa. “Hi”, he says and jumps up and down a bit, “Didn’t burn down the house.”

I bend down and kiss his cheek. “Good. Was okay staying alone for a bit? Didn’t feel weird?”
He shakes his head. “For us it did”, I say, “We missed you so much.”

He smiles a little and bends down to Noa, asleep in her baby car seat. “Hi baby Noa. How are you? You’re home now. That’s your home. For now. We might move in a bit, but that doesn’t matter, ‘cause you’ll still have all of us with you. Welcome, No. I’ve even got a present for you but I’ll wait until you’re awake, yeah?”

I smile over at Louis who’s staring down at our kids, smiling happily and walk over to pull him in for a hug sideways, kissing his temple.
“Home”, I mumble, “Now we’ve brought her home.”

He smiles even more now, quickly wiping his eyes. “I’ll lay her down, alright? You’ll talk to J?”

I nod. “What are we talking about?”, Jonah asks and carefully caresses Noa’s cheek.

“I’ll tell you in the living room, okay?”
He nods and while Louis carefully lifts Noa out of her seat and carries her to the bedroom, we walk to the living room.

Jonah sits down next to me, leaning his head against my shoulder and looks up.
“What is it?”

“Okay, so you know Daddy and me will adopt Noa, right? That’s what the social worker was here for and all. We’ll sign papers and that changes a lot legally. It means she’s our daughter officially and we have rights over her like all other parents over their biological kids. That means we can decide what school she goes too, for example; we are the ones having to care for her and most importantly, no one can take her away from us anymore and she’ll not only be our emotionally, but legally too.”

Jonah nods. “Yeah, I know. And?”

“And Louis and me talked about whether I should adopt you as well.”

Louis comes walking into the living room and sits down next to Jonah quietly. “So I’m not legally yours?”

“Legally, I’m still your stepdad. But I could become your dad.”

“Aren’t you already?”, he whispers, looking up at me carefully.

“I am”, I say, pulling him closer, “I totally am. That’s why I didn’t think of it yet. For me, you’re officially my son, you feel so much like my son that I forgot that there’s a legal aspect to it, as well. You have to separate emotion and laws, baby. I can’t really explain what exactly would change, and you’d probably not notice a big difference, but it could be important in certain situations.”

He nods slowly. “So you’re still Papa and everything. Just officially too.”

“Yes. I think it’s important, honey. Especially because I never want you to feel like I love Noa more than you. It’d be a bit unfair if she was mine officially and you were mine only emotionally, wouldn’t it?”

He nods slowly. “Okay I think I got it.” He snuggles closer to me and I move my hand through his hair slowly. “I know you’ll always love me.”

“Good, baby. Very good. I love you so, so much J, don’t want you to ever feel as if I didn’t.”

He smiles and wraps an arm around my waist, laying his head down in my lap carefully. “If I ever feel like it, I can tell you? And then you’ll tell me you love me over and over again and then I remember again.”

I smile and nod. “That’s exactly how we’ll do it. I’ll always remind you; don’t you worry about that.”

~~~

♡