Querencia | Finnick Odair

Thirteen

Finnick helps me change again, rubs some lotion on my back, ties my shoes, changes himself.

"Thanks."
"Always", he mumbles, kissing my forehead, before offering me his arm.

Plutarch is tapping his foot outside our door impatiently, sending us an exasperated look.

"I know you two need alone time, but this is important", he grumbles and I scowl.

"Oh, I'm sorry that the lashes and cuts on my back make it hard for me to change, but I am sure, being there five minutes early is going to make Peetas trauma disappear five minutes earlier too."

We make our way back to the hospital wing, this time I am allowed to pass through the door at the end of the hall.

The door to Peeta's room is already open and Finnick lets go of me.

"Be careful. Don't do too much, okay?"

I nod and enter.

"Hello, Peeta."

He smiles.

"Talisa."

"You look like shit."

"You've seen better days as well."

I make a few steps towards him.

"How are you dealing with everything?"

He shrugs, as much as he can while being tied to a table. I clench my fists at the sight of the metal cuffs, droplets of sweat running down my back.

"Well, they try to rewire my brain so..."

"Yeah, but I am asking how you are dealing, not how they are dealing with you", I repeat.

"I just...I can't. Everything is blurry and then Katniss. She kills everybody, she hurts you and my family. But then there is you, who tells me that she is our friend, that she is our ally. But that is a lie! A lie! You are lying, she is lying! She is a monster!"

"But so am I, if you go after that. But I can tell you about yourself if you'd like that."

"I...You did. In there you did. You told me about my favourite food. About my family. They are dead, right?"

"Yes. The Capitol dropped bombs on Twelve. We saw it on TV."

I am sweating more now, remembering the camera in my face, the screen with the words I never read.

"It's Katniss' fault! She did that, she killed them. She'll kill you! She will kill you! She is a monster!", he yells and cries and his cuffs clank against the table, again and again.

The door buzzes. And I know, I know there are no Peacekeepers coming through that door, no one will drag me and Peeta away. But when a hand touches my shoulder I whirl around and punch the person in the face, blood covering my hand.

Blood was pounding in my ears, I feel like it was running down my back, my face. I feel my fingernails pierce the old wounds in my palm as breathing becomes hard.

They drag me away. And I claw and scream to let me go, to not touch me, to leave me alone, that I know nothing, can't tell them anything. Others are yelling too and I am dropped to the floor, two figures kneeling before me. I sob the tears that I know are water, feeling like sticky blood on my face. Someone gently takes my hand, and I know that hand. I know it well. Know the crooked finger and the scars over the knuckles.

"Gloss", I whimper.

"Yes. It's me. We are safe. No one will hurt you. No one. Okay? Breathing. Breath in. Hold. Breath out. Slowly. Breath in. Hold. Breathe out."

He repeats the words, again and again, I do as he says until the weight on my chest is gone and my heart stops pounding and I throw myself into Finnick's arms. Who sits next to Gloss on the floor.

"They need to get him out of those cuffs. How do they expect him to become better if he is held under worse conditions here than in the Capitol?"

"Come on darling, let's go eat something, it is already lunch", Finnick mumbles, helping me up.

"We need to get Theresa first."

We walk to Mrs Everdeen's apartment and a bundle of blonde crashes into me.

"Auntie!"

"You hungry little fairy?", I smile tiredly and she nods, Finnick picks her up.

"Finn is almost as strong as you", Theresa giggles and I nudge her nose.

"Yes, only almost though."

Gloss waited outside, having left the hospital wing without permission from the doctors.

"Thank you, Mrs Everdeen. Thank you so much for taking care of my little girl."

The blonde woman smiles lightly. "It's a pleasure. She is a darling."

"If you need anything, ever, just ask."

"Just, be there for my daughter? I could never understand what she is going through, but you...I think you'd be good for her."

I nod my head. "I will do my best."

Our table in the big canteen is next to the exit, in a corner from which we can see the entire room.

Theresa sits in between Finnick and me, Gloss opposite us. People look and stare and whisper. They smile at Theresa though.

She tells us about a dog she helped in Nine and tells us she wants to have her own when we go back.

After we ate I pull her onto my lap, well my one leg that isn't still half-open.

"Listen. Finnick and I are going to get married. Would you like to be the flower girl?"

Her eyes light up.

"Are you gonna wear a pretty dress?"

"Yes, and you too", I smile.

She grins widely, talking about pink and yellow dresses, about how pretty I will look when Boggs steps towards our table.

"Coin wants you. Only you."

I roll my eyes.

"Would you be so kind and bring Theresa back?", I ask Finnick, who nods.

Gloss rises from his seat and offers me his arm again, glaring at Boggs when he repeats that only I am wanted. Finnick sends Gloss an appreciative nod.