Querencia | Finnick Odair

Chapter XX

I arrive in District 9 still in Gloss' sweats and shirt, moving through it with lowered head and finally arriving in the victors village. Marian is sitting on the porch with her son and they play a card game. Once she sees me she gets up and comes towards me.

"Where were you? We wanted to spend New Years with you!", she exclaims and I take a step back.

"The Capitol", I mumble and see her face fall. "Oh Honey..."

I turn and get into my house, not wanting pity, not wanting to think at all about what happened, but I know it will come up and I cannot prepare for that.

Three weeks pass and I am not leaving the village once, while I work out and read and cry and plant herbs. I pluck the herbs with healing properties and dry them. But I can't paint. I tried to paint the starry night sky, but my hand was shaking so much and my mind was going into overload, that it didn't work.

This morning I have another notice on my tablet. My services are wanted and paid for.

I feel numb, being thrown right back to the first night. I try to fight it by taking deep breaths and calming myself and when that doesn't work I move towards the punching bag in my own personal gym and let my anger and frustration out there.

The next morning I go to the train and the whole procedure repeats. I get a letter and a dress, this time a white sparkly short one that makes me gag by just looking at it.

A makeup artist comes and my face looks like I fell into glitter.

This time the man is old, in his 60s probably and it's awful and disgusting. This time there is no Gloss to be there for me and I am utterly alone. Nobody can help me and there is nobody that I can talk to. My family is dead, I pushed away my best friend and don't even have a pet to keep me company and soon I am going to have to mentor children that will most likely die.

~~~*~~~

And so it happens that, after many Capitol visits I just found a switch that I could flip. Where I just tune out and escape into myself. And now the 73rd Hunger Games are starting.

My tributes weren't very promising, even though the boy, Kellan, had spirit, he didn't look fit or strong and the girl is only fourteen and so skinny that I would be able to pick her up with one hand.

"Hey guys. I am Talisa, your mentor this year. Silas will be joining us soon, so please take a seat", I introduce myself and take a seat in the lounge area.

"Do you have any skills that you would think are useful? It doesn't matter how insignificant it seems."

So it goes on. I ask questions they answer and I get a general idea about who they are. Then I swap with Silas, who will do the main mentoring in the show part, while I will be helping in the skills department and with training and allies.

Dinner is just how I remembered from when I came here.

"Don't eat too much, your stomach will thank you", I tell them and the atmosphere is light.

I have nightmares, of course, but at least I don't throw up that night and can actually eat a decent breakfast.

We arrive in the Capitol and we mentors have a break until the evening since our tributes are being turned pretty.

There is a lounge specifically for the mentors and I enter together with Silas. I was wearing a green blouse and black trousers with brown heeled boots and my hair open, by now flowing to my waist in soft curls.

"Little T!", Johanna exclaims and we embrace shortly.

"How is victor's life treating you?", she questions and leads me to a table, where District 7 and 11 mentors sit. "Like shit", I mumble and Johanna looks at me shortly, but then turns back to the entrance. "If that isn't my all time favourite..", she grins and Finnick moves towards us.

"Johanna. Tally", he smiles and turns to hug me. I hesitate for only a second, but I think he notices. "Hey fishboy", I smile and my gaze turns to the entrance once more, where I lock eyes with Gloss who enters with a blonde woman, but it isn't Cashmere.

Sometimes I wonder if District one and two just rotate mentors, or if it is like in our district, where the newest victors are mentors. He gives me a curt nod and I smile shortly, before turning back to the victors at my table.

"So, how are your tributes this year?", the male mentor from District 11 asks and I am not sure if I should answer or not, but when Finnick and Johanna both start talking and explaining, I do too.

"Well, Amera is only 14 and not very strong, so I am going to go with sweet and cute, but Tommy, I think we can go in another direction with him, but we will see what the stylists do with them, even though I believe that Keaton will do good."

We spend the day talking, eating and making jokes, before we move to the lower floors where the carriages are waiting and the tributes join us shortly after.

Amera is wearing a cute dress in a golden colour that flares out like a tutu made out of wheat. Tommy is only wearing a brown vest and short trousers, but has golden bands covering his arms. He is wearing a necklace that looks like it is made from wheat.

Silas is talking to them, so I look at the other tributes, seeing them for the first time in real life, not only on screen. As usual the tributes from District 1 and 2 seem to be the strongest, but District 4 is looking strong this year too, as well as the male tributes from 7 and 11 and the female from District 5 seems not too bad either.

I am mainly waiting around and talking to Johanna and Finnick, before the tributes return and we head up to our floors, where we start to talk about training and about lessons in etiquette.