Querencia | Finnick Odair

Chapter XXXIII

Later that night we sit in front of the TV, watching a children's movie about a stolen princess with magic hair, Theresa cuddling up to me on the floor, wrapped in a blanket and I carry her up to bed.

"Will you sing for me?", she asks sleepily.

"What should I sing to you?"

"The song from the flower!"
"Okay okay", I sigh, but smile.

"Flower, gleam and glow

Let your power shine

Make the clock reverse

Bring back what once was mine

Heal what has been hurt

Change the Fates' design

Save what has been lost

Bring back what once was mine

What once was mine"

And the small girl is already asleep. Mariann and Mike are standing at the door, smiling at me.

"You'll make a great mother some day", my previous mentor says and I get up.

"I won't ever have kids", I state and move through the hallway, saying goodnight to Daniel and leave the house with a short wave to the adults that followed me.

I walk straight into my home gym, changing into short pants and a bralette, hopping onto the treadmill and after one and a half hours turn to the punching bag.

I want to get the thought out of my head, the hopeful wishes, the images.

Images of Finnick and me. Living in a house, him swirling around a little red haired girl, laughing at the beach, a dog playing with the rolling in waves.

I give up after another hour and paint what I have flooding through my mind, then I hide it in the last corner of my atelier, behind the sunsets and rises, behind the animals and people and landscapes, behind other pictures of Finnick and Johanna and Mags and the boy from 12 from almost two years ago. He reminds me of Katniss. That defiant look in his eyes similar to the one in the girls as she pulled out the berries.

I have many Capitol visits and I am currently in my victor's apartment, not having been back home in over 40 days. Finnick was there none of those days and I miss him.

Not that we don't call each other, we do, but we can't really talk since every conversation is monitored.

They monitor what we order as well, which should be quite boring because I only order books and art supplies, some food that they don't have here and a few medical supplies. Thanks to the contraception injection I don't have my period anymore so I do not have to order these supplies, but am playing with the thought because many of the poorer families cannot afford such luxury items and have to use cloths.

I also talk to Haymitch and Johanna. Haymitch mostly complains about Katniss and Peeta and the low supply of liquor in 12, while Johanna and I gossip and talk about the stupid boys in her district.

In the Capitol am working with a sign language instructor, with Melinda and I got another tattoo. Down my spine, stars and planets and at the bottom some waves and a small pole with a platform surrounding it. But it is very abstract and artsy, so one could only see if looking very carefully. Even Finnick hasn't seen it because I refuse all backless dresses. In exchange, they get lots of cleavage and leg, of course.

Tonight I don't have an appointment, so I change into my swimsuit and move downstairs in my blue fluffy robe. Usually nobody uses the pool except Finnick and me, especially around 8 pm in the evening, but today I see a familiar face.

"I wouldn't have taken you for a swimmer", I speak up and Gloss stops moving around.

"Well, the same goes for you."

"I happen to have a big bathtub", I smile and jump in with an almost good head plunge.

"Not bad little 9, not bad."

We swim around for a while and even go into that steam room that smelled like eucalyptus and then lay down on the loungers.

"So, what do you think about the star crossed lovers from 12?", he asks me.

"They started something and Snow doesn't like it. Some people in 9 see it as a call for rebellion, but are still too scared to do anything, which is actually good because it would never end well."

"Yeah, no. District one is the same as ever."

"Yeah. Thought so."

Then a blonde girl enters the spa area and walks up to Gloss. It is Cashmere.

And now I know which girl he helped through the first night of being sold. Like he helped me.

"Can you believe it?! Oh, that director is such an asshat and the shooting was the absolute worst!"

I grin as Gloss sighs.

"Well if you would excuse me. I am going to go back up. Have a nice afternoon Gloss. Nice meeting you Cashmere."

With that I get up in my robe and walk back up the staircase, still hearing Cashmere call out: "The little red is here too!?"