Until You.

Chapter Thirteen.

Around the 4th period I decided to get dressed and go to class for the first time since the video leak. 

People stared at me in the hallways but I just looked ahead, not giving them any thought.

I walked into my classroom, Calla was sitting in the back and waved me over. But I didn’t sit next to him. I sat by the window, not wanting to talk to anyone.

Role was called, when the teacher reached my name she looked up to me, “were you sick this week, Alex?” She asked.

I answered with a short ‘yes’ and turned back to the window.

“Pst.” I heard a kid behind me.

I turned around. “What.”
“Too embarrassed of your little clips that everyone watched, hm?” He snickered.

I rolled my eyes.

“Tell me, how is it to fuck your own dad?” He asked with a smirk.

“Oh wouldn’t you like to know.” I snapped back.

“What did you just say to me?” He asked.

“Boys in the back, be quiet.” The teacher spoke from the board.

“I said wouldn’t you like to know how it is to fuck your own daddy? You would like it wouldn’t you?” I repeated venomously.

He stood from his seat, “I’m surprised you're even here today, I would think that you would have another work shift. You know, fucking old guys to get money?” He said with a smirk.
I stood from my chair, “Why do you ask? Do you wanna book an appointment?”
I said smoothly, walking over to his table.

“Alex, sit down, right now.” The teacher yelled.

“Hey why don’t you keep your mouth shut, unless you want me to talk you down from another ledge?” The boy said to me,

I punched him across the face, hard. Blood started to drip from his nose.

“Alex.” The teacher screamed.

“You physcotic mother fucker.” He exclaimed.

“Life's more fun being one, you should try it.” 

And then he punched me. Blood filled my mouth.

I jumped onto him, tackled into the ground and began pounding on his face. He tried to throw me off but I punched him hard enough that he couldn’t think of anything else.

I felt someone pull me off of him, but I continued to push and pull towards the guy.

“Alex, chill man. It’s alright, you’re fine.” Calla whispered in my ear.

I ran my hand through my hair, panting hard, and stormed out of the classroom, running to the bathroom. 

I leaned into the sink, looking in the mirror and admiring the blood that dribbled from the lip and the cut on my eyebrow.

I laughed, but nothing was funny. I laughed too hard at something that wasn’t funny. But I couldn’t stop. I was breaking.

“Fuck.” I muttered, biting my knuckle to prevent myself from crying. The lump in my throat hurt to hold, but I wouldn’t let myself cry.

I knew what I needed.

I remembered the room that I had gone into on my first day. The small little closet. I found it quickly and hoped to find exactly who I needed. Which I did, of course.

The boy from the first day who had spilled beer on me. 

Vin. 

He was sitting on the floor, smoking a joint and as high as shit.

“Do you have anything on you?” I asked, he looked at me and smiled.

“I knew I was going to see more of you at some point.”
I rolled my eyes, “do you have anything or not?” 

He gave me a bag of weed, and a couple bottles of pills.

“Don't take too many pills at once, okay? Get high and shit but don’t overdose.” He said with a certain look in his eye.
“I get one video of me trying to kill myself released and now everyone is on my back.” I scoffed with a smile. 

“Bye Alex.”
“Bye Vin.”

I hurried to my room and quickly took a couple pills, only three of some drugs I hadn’t even heard of. 

I rolled a joint and lit it, laying in the middle of the floor.

This is what I missed.

Getting high without a care in the world, sore and bruised from fights that I didn’t care about.

This was my definition of peace.

Nobody bothered me like this.
THey either were scared of me or were so mad at these choices that they didn’t fuck with me anymore.

Soon enough, Rova and Calla are going to get pissed at me for shit like this and will stop being my friend.

And I’m fine with that.

I want to be lonely again. Because nobody expected things from me when I was lonely. Nobody hurt me.

It was easier.

“Alex?” I heard Rova say as he walked into the room.

I looked over to him lazily.

“Are you fucking high- everyone is talking about what happened in your class today.” He said, pulling me up from the ground.

“Yeah, and?” I slurred.

He shook his head, “what are you on?” 

I laughed, “I don’t know.”
He rolled his eyes. “It’s not fucking funny- you can’t take drugs that you don’t even know about.”

I shrugged, “I’ll live.”
Rova groaned, “And if you don’t?”
“I think you know the answer to that one, Rova. Remember? I’m the psychotic and suicidal little bitch with daddy issues, not the sober school boy.” I said with a smile, grabbing the bag of pills and weed and walking out to the fire escape.

Rova didn’t follow me that time.

And that's the first step. The first step is when they stop caring. And next, they’ll stop talking to me.

I’ll be happier that way.

Right?

WORD COUNT: 953

Thank you for reading!

Alex cannot catch a break god damn.

Chapter 14 is out now.