Until You.

Chapter Sixteen.

Did I just kiss Milo in front of the entire school just to prove a point?
Yes, yes I did. Do I feel good about it?
I don't know.

I hated the feeling of Jayden watching it happen, but maybe it's for the best. Now he knows that I've moved on.

But now, Milo thinks I'm into him. Which I suppose I am, Milo is very hot and treats me well enough.

After I walked out of the cafeteria, it took Milo a couple minutes to come running after me as expected. He invited me to some party tonight, which of course I accepted.

***

"So..are you going to the party tonight?" Rova asked me as I walked into our room, I didn't bother even glancing in his direction, just went straight to the kitchen.

"Please don't ignore us anymore, Lexie. We miss you-" Rova tried before I interrupted.

"Who is us-" I said as I turned around to face our couch to see all three of them sitting there.

"Oh." I mumbled, turning back to the kitchen.

I pulled out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter, putting one in my mouth and lighting it.

"You can live without me, y'know." I said with a sigh.

"But we don't want to-"
"Calla," I interjected, "We've already had this conversation."
He looked down at his shoes.

"Don't speak to him like that." Rova said in an irritated voice. It was the most aggressive I've ever heard him speak.

I raised an eyebrow, "Didn't mean to offend anybody, but I'm- I'm happy now." My voice broke at the end of my sentence, everyone looked at me like they didn't believe me.

"No you're not, Alex. You're not! You are a filthy liar, who only goes around hurting people because you can't handle any shit on your own. You're a fucking coward and you're- you're insane! We all know it- like okay- we get it! Your life sucks but that doesn't mean-" Rova began to rant but a small, "Rova." From Calla made him shut up with ease.

I laughed with no humor in my voice and took a long drag from my cigarette.

They all looked at me sadly.

"I never answered your question earlier. I am going to that party with Milo, and I won't be coming back after." I said, walking towards the front door.

And I walked out.

I'm glad they were finally honest with me.

Because it's true, I am useless and I am a coward.

But most importantly, I am insane.

***

I felt different than I had been as I walked through the woods that surrounded the school. Maybe not different per say, but more.

But not more as in feelings, more as in the most numb I had felt in months.

I didn't feel angry anymore, I didn't feel any happiness not even from the memories of Rova, Calla, and Jayden that sat in the back of my head.

Just...emptiness. So empty and so quiet, but at the same time so full and so loud. Every thought I had echoed against the walls in my head, and would ring and ring.

I hopped the fence like I had done with Calla and Rova just a couple weeks ago.

Milo was meeting me at the party, he had some 'business' to do. I knew he was dealing all types of shit, and I didn't really want to get involved, not after what happened with my father.