Brooks and I are hand in hand as we stroll the boardwalk besides the local beach. He took me to this Thai restaurant for dinner outside of Wilmington that no one knows about, and it was nice to get out of town, surround ourselves with unfamiliar people. The sun has just set, and the warm weather feels good on my skin.
"I spoke to Nico the other day," Brooks says. "He told me Bella FaceTimed you."
"Yeah, she did. It was great to speak to her."
"Hard not having her around this summer?"
I bite down on my lip and squint my eyes as I try to come up with an honest answer. "Different," I finally state. "What about you? How are you holding up without your wingman?"
He lifts our intertwined hands, then plants a soft kiss on my right palm. "I'd say pretty damn good, wouldn't you?"
I don't want to ruin this moment, but for some reason, I start thinking about my current status with Brooks. Like, what it is exactly, since we haven't put a label on it.
"What's wrong?" Brooks asks, and I'm guessing that my anxious expression is giving away the obvious.
I immediately squander any sign of panic on my face. "Nothing!"
He stops us in place, but sways our hands back and forth. "Rem..."
I look at him and it's so hard to lie to his face. "Okay, fine," I say, surrendering. "I'm just going to come out and ask...," my eyes search his. "What are we, Brooks?"
He angles his head to the side like he genuinely doesn't understand my question. "What do you mean?"
"I mean, what are we? You and me? Us? Is there even an us?"
He starts laughing. Why is he laughing?
"Why are you laughing?" I voice my thought out loud.
"You want to know one of the many things that I love about you?"
"I'm scared..."
"It's that you're not afraid to ask questions, no matter what the answers may be."
"Is that a good thing?"
"It's a great thing. I usually avoid asking questions for that reason. Because I'm scared that the answers will scare me."
"What's meant to happen is going to happen, whether you want it to or not. Might as well find out if it will while you can."
"You're lucky to be that strong. Many people aren't."
I look down at the floor, feeling guilty that I might've mislead him. "I'm not that strong," I whisper, but he places his finger under my chin to lift my face up.
"Don't say that."
"I'm not. I struggle."
"Struggling doesn't make you weak. We're all entitled to our emotions."
"I'm not good at that, though. Showing my emotions," I confess.
"Why?"
"I don't know. I think it's because I've always been characterized as the tough one – mentally, emotionally. It's how I'm able to be a supportive daughter to my parents, a good friend to Bella. Exposing my emotions will tarnish that. I care about my reputation too much to let that happen."
"Even if it means risking your emotional well-being?"
I don't respond because I don't know how to answer that.
There is no answer.
"Remi, I know that you like to put others first. I know it because I've seen you do it. Too many times, if I'm being honest. But that will only last for so long. It's okay to let people in. It's okay to let me in."
"Is it, though?"
"Yeah," he whispers.
"What if I let you in? Then what? What happens, Brooks?" I pause. "Do you stay?"
"I'm not going anywhere," he says like a promise.
"You say that now, Brooks. You say that because I'm standing right in front of you."
"I'd say it no matter what," he states immediately.
I take a gulp, processing his words; allowing my mind to absorb them without pushing even a piece of it away. As hard as it is for me, I've got to. I've got to start trusting more.
"To answer your question from before," Brooks says, "I want there to be an us." He pauses. "That is...if you want it, too."
I look at him and can't believe what I'm hearing. Never in a million years would I have thought Brooks Caldwell to be this heartfelt, emotional, caring guy. I always saw him as a rich, hot egotist with no morals, no drive, no genuineness.
Boy, was I wrong.
I was very wrong.
"I want that, too," I tell him.
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Under the Stars (Sequel to Across the Pond)
Ρομαντική*The sequel to Across the Pond* Brooks Caldwell is the bane of my existence. Has been ever since I've known him. And, of course, luck would have it that I'm forced to spend my entire summer in his presence when I'm offered a job at the posh country...
