Chapter 48

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I couldn't do it. I couldn't tell Brooks that I wanted to be with him. My dad might have a job now thanks to Brooks, and I'm so grateful for that, but Brooks will see. We're better off apart than together. He'll find a girl who fits into his posh world, and I'll find someone on my level.

Brooks is taking over his family's business next year, while I'll be home, attending Wilmington Community College. Our worlds couldn't be more different.

He'll thank me.

I know he will.

***

A few weeks pass, and all I can think about is Brooks. It's also not helpful when dad comes home every night telling me how great of a boss Brooks is. I'm so happy that my dad loves being a part of the Marketing department at Caldwell Publishing, but it definitely doesn't make things easier for me.

Thanks to my dad's new job, my mom's last double-shift at work is today, so it's just me at home. I offered to do the laundry because it's the least that I can do to feel like I'm still helping out.

I'm emptying out the dryer when the doorbell rings. I'm not expecting anyone.

I make my way upstairs, and open the door to find Bella on the other side.

"To what do I owe this surprise?" I ask, widening the door open for her to step in, but she stays put. "Are you not coming in?"

"Nope. We're going out," she tells me, reaching for my hand and pulling me towards her, but I don't move. "Why aren't you moving?"

"A) because I'm doing laundry and B) because you won't tell me where we're going."

"It's a surprise."

I sigh. "I think I've had enough surprises to last me a lifetime," I state.

"This is a fun one. I promise."

***

Bella drives us into the entrance of the Ritz Carlton, and I'm utterly confused.

"Are we picking someone up?" I ask as I look out the window, taking in the beautiful 5-star hotel on my right.

"No, silly. We're parking."

"Parking?"

"Good afternoon, ma'am," the young valet guy interrupts when he opens my door to greet me.

I watch Bella exit the car and do the same, despite my skepticism. The guy hands her a parking slip and she meets my stance.

"B, what are we doing here?"

"What do you say to some high tea?" she asks me.

"High tea?" I repeat, tucking in my chin. "As in bougie scones and finger sandwiches?"

She chuckles, even though I'm serious. "Yup."

"Uh," I look at the building and stammer. I can't afford this.

"I've got everything taken care of," she tells me like she can read my mind. "C'mon," she tugs me by the hand and walks us in.

I wait behind Bella as she walks up to the concierge, telling the lady that we have reservations in the tearoom. The lady smiles at her and points us in the right direction.

"Follow me!" Bella turns around and tells me.

"B, this is not necessary," I say as we walk through the lavish hallways.

"Right. Just like you taking me for a spa day when Nico and I were on bad terms wasn't necessary," she mocks.

"That was different. You were miserable. I had to do something to get you out of bed. I, on the other hand, am fine."

"Great," she sarcastically says, clearly not believing me.

We enter the room and the poised lady behind the maître d' desk greets us before walking us to our reserved table. The tearoom is so elaborate in design that I'm happy I'm wearing something remotely appropriate.

Our waiter hands us each a menu, and Bella tells him that we're going to go with the Tier 2 option. I have no idea what that means, but it sounds expensive.

And it is.

About 20 minutes later, he approaches us with a 3-tiered stand. On the first level are these smoked salmon and cucumber finger sandwiches; on the second level – scones; on the third level – a mix of mini muffins and pastries. He places it down and then pours us each a cup of chamomile tea from a floral teakettle.

I blow the steam from my cup while Bella reaches for the tray, picking up one of the sandwiches.

"I can't believe you did all this," I remark, taking in the intricately designed room.

"Thought we could use a girl's day." She wipes her hands together, reaching for the napkin on her lap. "How are you holding up?"

"Great," I lie.

"That's nice. Now, mind giving me the truth?"

"That is the truth, B."

"Remi, give me a break. It's insulting that you think I don't know you better than that."

"What do you want me to say? I miss Brooks? Fine. I miss him."

"Was that so hard?"

"No. But what is that changing?"

I take a sip of my tea as Bella looks me over.

"Why are you doing this to yourself, Rem? Why are you holding back? This isn't like you."

"I'm protecting myself, B."

"No, you're not. I'm sorry, but you're not. You're torturing yourself. You have someone who wants to be with you standing right in front of your face. And instead of embracing it, you're pushing him away."

"It'll happen eventually. Might as well be one step ahead of the curve."

She shakes her head at me. "Where's my spontaneous bestie? You know, the one who lives in the present moment. Doesn't dwell on the past or focus on what hasn't happened yet?"

"I've changed, B. Life changes, you gotta change with it."

"And I get that. But that doesn't mean it has to change who you've always been as a person."

I shrug. "Maybe I was never the spontaneous Remi Baker that you know and love. Maybe this is who I really am."

"No, I don't agree with that. I know you too well to know that's a lie."

I don't say anything and instead reach for a scone, taking a bite so that I have an excuse not to answer her.

"You know, when we were younger, you were my idol," Bella begins. "You're still my idol, but the reason why I looked up to you from such a young age was because you were everything that I wasn't yet wanted to be. You were so composed all the time, not because you forced yourself to be, but because you genuinely never dwelled on the things that you couldn't control. You were so confident in whatever life threw your way and you took it on with a smile and 'fuck it' attitude. I know that that person is still there, even though you're trying to deny it." I keep silent, and Bella exhales before she finishes her argument. "I guess the whole point of my spiel right now is, why would you want to?"

All of a sudden, Bella's phone rings and she glances at it as I ponder her words. "I gotta take this. You mind?"

"Nope," I say.

I use the alone time to really contemplate what Bella just said. She's right about me being the composed one when we were younger. I never really worried about anything; never doubted. And now look at me. I plan my future as if it's my present. That's not me, that's not who I am.

How do I go back to that though?

Is there something to even go back to?

Because maybe I haven't changed as much as I think I have. Maybe Bella's right. Maybe that person's still there.

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