Mistreated - Han Jisung centric

18 : So Wrong

⚠️Cursing - inappropriate words⚠️

Han Jisung's pov :

Thinking, that was why I was out here, roaming around the big city with no destination. I wanted to think, I needed to think.

The glittering lights of the city were breathtaking, but I couldn't focus on such a beautiful view right now.

My mind was full of thoughts, and questions, but I couldn't find any answers to all of it.

Why did it all have to happen now? Why did I have to find out about all of this now? And phi.. He fucking knew and didn't tell me!

The amount of frustration that I'm feeling for not having answers to all these questions..

It was a prank. It has to be a prank. It couldn't be real, just how? The fuck?

How do they expect me to believe that? After two years of all that, and I'm supposed to believe that, fuck I'm going insane.

I can already feel a migraine in my head. Geez.

I just sat on a bench in Gildong park, staring at the distance, it really was a magnificent sight, but I wasn't focused on it at all.

How? Just how? And why? At this point I'm questioning my whole existence.

No it can't be, if you think about it logically, no one bullies someone they love. What kind of Kdrama is this?

Why do they expect me to believe it, and just go along with it? Even so if I do agree, it's wrong. So wrong.

Very wrong..

Korea isn't a place to accept gay people so easily, especially if they are idols. Too much of a commotion, after all we come to, we can't risk such a scandal. After all the things we sacrificed and all what we did, we can't risk it.

Not to mention the people we are going to disappoint. Not all stays are supportive of lgbtq+. And I don't know about the member's parents and siblings. My parents know about me and they are fine with it, but I can't guarantee the same for the others.

I have already made a decision a few days ago, but looks like I have to rethink it.

If I'm the reason they are willing to just throw away thier idol life then I won't stay. I can't be the reason to that.

Why? Why do I find out about this now? Why couldn't it be a different time, when I'm not an emotional mess?

After two years of treated like an intruder, and now I'm finally having some attention, alot of attention, just, how? How does someone go from 'I hate your existence' to 'I love your entire being'?

What kind of sorcery is this? Did they just suddenly woke up and chose to be in love with me? So during the two years they woke up and chose violence? What the actual fuck?

I need a god damn explanation about all this. It was already evening, people coming back from work to go to their homes. I can see alot of cars on the streets.