𝐀𝐑𝐃𝐄𝐍✔️

TWENTYTWO|HIM

  "COME IN."

Kaden's sonorous rumble sounded from the other side of his office door.

I entered to find him sitting at his desk, staring at me through red-rimmed eyes with a mixture of emotions that I did not dare try to decipher, more so because I was scared of what might find. Clarity was a mirror that, once uncovered, could never be unseen.

I was a coward, self-proclaimed and self-acknowledged, always had been and always would be. I was too ashamed of myself to meet his eye.

Slowly, cautiously I took a seat at his desk, and rather than looking him in the eyes I instead fiddled with the hem of my shirt.

"Arden... Look at me, please." His voice was soft as summer, it held no malice or resentment, but it was all just a facade, he was going to reject me. He was just trying to let me down easy. Kaden felt sorry for me, I knew it, he treated me like glass, like I could shatter at any moment, though something inside me didn't mind that at all, knowing all too well that I was easy to break.

But rejection, no amount of whispers or padding would stop me from falling apart then. His rejection would tear me in two, the other half of my soul lost forever.

"Please... don't." I whimpered, bracing myself for what I knew would soon follow. Say the words, Kaden, just say them.

"Arden, look at me." He repeated, his voice unwavering.

I tilted my head so that my eyes met his, the beautiful blue eyes that I had come to know and love, the eyes that now swirled with a sense of deep sadness and regret. The blue I would no longer see when he sent me away to live as a rogue, not that I would live long, of course.

"I'm sorry." I crumbled. Once the first tear crawled down my cheek, the rest soon followed. "I'm so sorry, Kaden"

He stood up from his chair and moved to sit on the desk in front of me. Despite being only a couple of feet away, I was struck with the biting urge to reach out, to touch him, to see if his hair was really as soft as it looked, and his lips tasted as sweet as I imagined them to.

But there was also that ever-nagging insecurity that Kaden wouldn't want that. When I tried to see myself through his eyes I couldn't help but be repulsed. Small, weak, fragile. He probably thought I was disgusting, I know I did, he would probably be repulsed by my touch and to be honest, I couldn't resent him for that.

"I'm sorry, I'm not the mate you want me to be... That you need and that you deserve — that the pack deserves." I murmured, ashamed at even the thought. Kaden leaned forwards and gently wiped away a tear from my cheek that I hadn't even realised had fallen.

"Arden..." There was so much pain and conflict in his eyes, but not only that, something else lingered just out of reach, something that I couldn't quite trace, "Don't ever say that, you're everything I could have ever wanted... You're the most important thing in this world to me."

I shook my head in disbelief, his words weren't true. They couldn't be. He needed better — the pack needed better. There were so many better and stronger choices for Luna, other girls that could fight, provide. Other girls that could be respected in ways that I could not.

"Arden, don't you see... I love you."

His word came like a blow to the chest. The hardest strike I'd ever known, only this one didn't break bones or leave bruises, instead, this one left me speechless.

"I...I," I stuttered, lost for words despite the thousands that raced through my mind, too lightning fast to grasp.

Kaden placed a soft hand against my cheek and leaned in until I could count the distance between us, six inches. I had a handful of letters but no way to put them together to form words, let alone a coherent sentence.

His eyes trailed down my face, only to focus on my lips, making my breath catch in my throat.

I was almost certain that Kaden could hear the thundering of my heart, beating so fast I feared it would give out, pounding like that of a habit caught in the crosshairs — only now I was no longer prey.

"I love you, Arden." He said again, whispered as gently as wind through a wildflower, and then brushed his lips against mine. Sparks erupted through my body, coursing like fire and yet feeling like faith. I had finally found my salvation. The letters fell from my fingertips, but then again, I had no desire for words, only actions.

And in that moment, I believed him, that he truly did love me as I loved him. Not caring that it could all be a lie, a beautifully cruel lie, because, by him, I'd gladly be lied to. Told by him, the fantasy would taste sweeter than any truth ever could.

Kaden's tongue swiped my lower lip, asking for entrance which I granted immediately. There was never any question to it. I was his, completely and utterly, in a way I always had been.

My hands fisted in his hair, pulling on the silky strands with more fervour than I had any right to possess. He groaned into my skin; a throaty sound, one I'd tread hell and high water to hear again.

One hand rested on my waist, the other homed over my cheek, pulling me impossibly closer. Our bodies were flush against one another yet I still didn't feel close enough.

It felt like an eternity had passed before we finally pulled apart, but still forever wasn't long enough. Kaden pulled me onto his lap, both of us gasping wildly for breath, my head resting on his shoulder, but somehow Kaden wasn't done yet. His soft lips caressed my neck, sucking and biting his way down my throat, a possessive path that only he could walk.

I wished it could be like this forever. I wished it would never end. His cruel lips worked their way down my neck, towards where his mark would one day be placed, exploring every inch of my skin as eagerly as I would his.

His touch was addictive, filling all those empty cracks inside my heart, making it whole once more, if only for a moment.

An involuntary sound left my lips as he dragged his canines over the spot, teasing what could be.

"Kaden," I moaned, tightening my grip on his hair and arching my back so my chest pressed into his. He strained against his pants, teasing all that he could give, all that I could take. Without thinking, I rolled my hips into him, an instinctive move of hungry bodies and scarcely sated lust.

His grip on my waist tightened until it was almost painful and a low sound tore from his chest.

"Arden, we have to stop." He said through gritted teeth, placing one final kiss against my neck as we broke apart.

I made no attempt to climb off of him as we stayed there, his arms around my waist and mine draped around his neck, each drinking in the feel of the other's presence.

Drunk on the sight of him, I said, "I love you, Kaden."