Collin's Crew II

Chapter 28

Nick's POV

Where do I begin? I don't know what is worse the fact that I killed a guy at the age of 4 and nobody told me or the fact that I killed a guy and nobody was ever going to tell me.

After drunk Desi had said those words I couldn't believe how they sat so well in me. It felt like a missing puzzle I was trying to figure out. It hit home. I wasn't sure how everyone knew except me. Even Desi?

"Who knows!" I shout at Mason. "Its just us and mom and dad." He says.

I cannot believe it. I have been having strange flash backs of that day. Just seeing blood everywhere and then that was it. I was too young to remember. I probably suffered from black outs like I did now. I had it in me at 4 years old to kill that man... I picture the scene out in my head like twenty times. Things fell into place now. Why I had always wanted to hurt people. Because I did at the age of 4. Why violence was the way forward for me. Why I used to my fist to solve all my problems. Why I was so angry all the time. Why I couldn't picture myself ever being happy because at 4 I lost that. I could not imagine me ever living a peaceful happy life with kids and a wife because I did not deserve it. I killed that man.

But if I was to be put in that situation again... I would not blink before I'd do it again.

God; I was a sociopath.

I needed some alone time. To be away from everyone so I disappear. I disappear. Out of town. I leave my car and ditch it. Tim could not track me now. I throw my phone away. I was not trying to be in contact with anybody right now.

4 weeks later.

I found joy in persuing who I really was. At the age of 4 if I was a murderer what made me stop now? I was killing whoever was in my sight and I knew Mason and the guys were cleaning up after me because I did not care. I couldn't care less if I got caught and locked away. Hey. What could I loose?

It was nice being away because I was so angry at everyone that I could not imagine seeing them. Yet I needed answers. I needed to know what was happening. How could they just not let me know. The anger fussed a little as I spend my five weeks getting rid of it. It was like haunting me. I couldn't sleep without dreaming of it.

Desi was probably pissed but so was I. The way I spoke to her and disappeared for 4 weeks. I did not have time to feel heartbroken as I felt broken already basically.

I needed answers.

I decided to go home and find out what I could before I made my decisions of what to do next. The betrayal wasn't what I needed. 4 weeks I stayed in an apartment outside of New York.

Back to reality. I needed to speak to someone first who I knew wasn't aware of all of this and that was my older brother Alexander. Mason was enough of a disappointment.

I knock on his door leaning on the wall. I was sure he'd be home Saturday morning.

"Nick." He says opening. "Nick." He repeats as I walk into his room. "Where was you for months!" He says as I walk in. "Didnt know whether you were alive or dead." He says frowning. "How could you disappear for weeks on us!"

"Can you stop shouting." I say sighing. "Moms been worried sick. You know she started drinking." He says and I look at him. "What?" He shakes his head and sits down looking at me.

"Yes." He says. "She took a break from work."

"Maybe she shouldn't have lied to me about my past. Its worse than not knowing were adopted." I say and he shakes his head again. "I would be pretty pissed too if nobody told me the reason for why I felta certain way. But mom and dad were trying to protect you from your past."