The Long Way Home

Chapter Twenty Nine: Faith

I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart that's still beating
In the pain, there is healing
In your name I find meaning
So I'm holdin' on,

Lifehouse - Broken

Storms had never scared John Sheppard. In fact there wasn't a lot that did frighten the Major besides clowns and he thought he was perfectly within his rights to think they should be regarded with suspicion. He had flown helicopters through sandstorms, navigated through dark clouds and howling winds before but this was different. Right now this storm, right here was killing him.

Cass was the one that disliked storms, back in Afghanistan she had told him she had gotten through them by gritting her teeth and distracting herself. It was the thunder she hated, the noise rattled through her bones and ever since she was a little girl it had made her think that God was angry at her. Cass was far from religious but old habits held strong and though her father had moved from the Louisiana to New York in order to live with Cass's mother he had still retained his religion and passed it along to his two daughters.

John had never really believed in God, he had seen too much to believe that there was some higher power up there watching over them all and yet right now John Sheppard found himself praying.

For two hours the storm had been pounding at the city, relinquishing it's fury upon the tall steeped buildings. Lightning was crackling in the air and John could taste the ozone in his mouth as the thunder rumbled and vibrated through the building.

Cass lay flat out across the floor of the Gate Area. They hadn't dared move her since Carson had began patched her up again. He thought the other man had gone insane when he'd whipped out that staple gun.

John had never allowed himself to have faith in other people before but the moment Elizabeth had put her hand on John's arm to stop him from rushing into the makeshift surgery, he knew that he was starting to. They had all watched in silence as both Carson and Teyla worked on Cass. The people around him were his family and he drew comfort from their stability and strength.

Two transfusions later and her pallor was starting to flush with colour. According to Carson she wasn't out of the woods yet but right now she was stable and that was all that mattered right now.

Cass's head was resting upon his lap, John's fingers combed through her silky dark strands as she moaned out loud. Her sapphire eyes were flicking open and revolving around in terror as she tried to shift groggily. She whimpered as she flexed her limbs, struggling against the heavy coats they had covered her up with in order to keep her warm. John's calloused hands encompassed her face as he stared down into her open eyes, filling up her vision as his thumbs smoothed over the flushed apple of her cheeks lightly.

"Your safe." he murmured in an attempt to keep her calm. "You just need to stay still so you don't hurt yourself."

His words filtered through to her ears as Carson hovered by her side, his fingers capturing her wrist in order to check her pulse. Her breathing became rapid and shallow as Cass tried to tear it away from his dexterous grip, mewing like an injured kitten when Carson refused to relinquish his grasp.

"Cassie." John drawled out her name like a lullaby, drawing her attention back to him. "It's ok. It's just Carson trying to help you."

His gentle fingertips were brushing the hair away from her pale features as she closed her eyes briefly as if gathering strength from his actions. She was disorientated, John had seen it a few times before in the aftermath of an traumatic injury and he would do anything to ease the transition.

"It hurts." she mumbled, allowing Carson to take her pulse.

"You have to be brave just for a little while longer." John told her softly.

"Your the brave one." she reminded him haughtily. "I'm the one that patches people like you up."

"Quite the little miss attitude aren't you?" John teased, almost relieved at her grumpiness.

It was good to see her like this, the real Cass was coming into play. The strong, vibrant young doctor was back. She was bruised, battered and wounded but she was here with him and that meant more to John than he could verbalize. She had come back just like she promised.

"Sergi?" Cass muttered abruptly, leaving John to cast a tense glance at Carson who lowered Cass's arm as he spoke.

"He's dead. You've got nothing to worry about Lassie." Carson said kindly as he warmed her hand between his palms.

John stifled the savage growl that was threatening to leave his throat. Ford had disclosed the circumstances in which they had found Cass while Beckett and Teyla had worked on her. He didn't know the full story but he knew enough to be able to fit the pieces into place himself and he was mortified at the hell his lover had been exposed to. He would never allow her out of his sight every again if he had his way. He knew that it was irrational to think like that but the beast pacing around inside of him was furious that their mate hadn't been more protected.

The reality was he was enraged with himself. His training and assertive militaristic behaviour had prevented him from rushing to her aid like a civilian would have. Duty to this city had come before the individual, even if it was Cass. That didn't sit well with the Man, it made him doubt the extent of his feelings and he despised that.

Part of him wanted to find away to reanimate Sergi and rip the pervert to pieces, the other side of him wanted to curl up around Cass to protect her from harm. These instincts were unfamiliar to him, the primal urges were deep seated and basic. He had never been the possessive type of man before he met Cass not even when he had been married to Nancy. Cass had brought out a side of him he had never seen before, he was more committed to her than he had ever been to his marriage.

"Can you give me something for the pain?" she hissed through grinding teeth as she shifted just a little trying to get comfortable.

She had been lying on the floor now for over two hours and John knew she had to be feeling more than a little stiff. It wasn't productive for her to move, she had almost died when her stitches had been torn out. The staples would hold so long as Cass didn't over exert herself, which in his book meant make any strenuous movements.

"The only things I've got will put you under again." Carson told her gently. "I can do that if that's what you want."

"Will you stay?" Cass asked, raising her exhausted sapphire eyes upwards to John as she nestled into his lap, her cheek coming to rest against his hip.

"I'm not going anywhere." John reassured her with a grim smile.

It was time that Cassandra Pierce came first.