The Long Way Home

Chapter Ninety Two: Lonesome

Contempt loves the silence
It thrives in the dark
With fine winding tendrils
That strangle the heart

Natalie Merchant – My Skin

It had been a month since John had seen his wife and there wasn't a thing about her he didn't miss. Every morning when he woke up he reached for her slender form only to find her pillow cold and her side of the bed annoyingly empty. He hated waking up alone. In the past it hadn't bothered him, but now that he was with Cass his perspective on things had changed.

His toothbrush looked lonely inside that little blue polka dot cup that resided in their bathroom, the little cat model Annabel had given her was absent and their sheets had been washed since she had last slept in their apartment so her smell no longer clung to the soft cotton.

The fact was he missed his wife badly and their lack of contact had only made things worse. They had emailed back and forth over the past month but they were no match for the real thing and neither were the video conversations they had had on Skype. Cass had looked down in their most recent video call, she was weary and exhausted, he could see the dark circles under her eyes and the strain within her features. No matter what she said, he knew she wasn't sleeping and that world that she had stepped into was tearing her up inside just like it had before.

Hence why when this medical consignment had been beamed in off the Daedalus he had nominated himself to transport it. He was getting a little sick of all the cancelled visits between the two of them and if he was honest he was pretty sure that Drew Hartford had a little something to do with that.

Everytime Cassandra had been due to return to Atlantis there had been a some sort of medical emergency that required her attention. The chickenpox thing, could hardly be avoided but he wasn't sure it was necessary for her to stay to run the follow up procedures or for measles epidemic that had turned out to be a false alarm.

Their investigation into the black market operation was slow going. Ronon had been scoping out the initial exchange site and it seemed that it had now been abandoned by the smugglers. Cass and Hope had been recording the batch numbers of the missing medicinals, whoever was running the operation had been stealing huge chunks of medical supplies and they were struggling to locate the stashes of pills. They had found one or two hiding spots over the past couple of weeks and the people with the pills had been locked in the temporary holding cells until they relinquished the information. At least that was the story.

Sitting in Cassandra's quarters alone gave John an almost homily feel. Drew had informed him that his wife was still wrapped up in quarantine so he probably wouldn't get a chance to see her. The other man had made him feel foolish for dropping in unannounced and it was clear that he thought that John's interest in Cass was a threat to his own goals. John longed to wipe that smug smile off the other man's features, it had taken every single ounce of his strength not to put Drew in his place. Cassandra was his wife, God damn it and the leader of the encampment was acting like he owned her.

John ran his hands through his untidy brown hair as he perched on the neatly made bed looking around the room. It was decorated with touches of things that reminded her of her life back on Atlantis. That little wooden cat that Annabel had given her was resting on her bedside table overlooking the bed like a protector. John smoothed his hand over the crisp sheets, imagining Cass lying there on her side, her slim fingers wrapped tightly around the little statue, clasping it to her chest as she slept.

John kicked his shoes off and lay flat on his back in attempt to get comfortable in the single bed. His right hand slid under the pillow as his left came to rest upon his stomach, his fingers briefly touched something that felt like photo paper. He grasped it curiously before pulling it out and holding it up before his inquisitive hazel eyes. It was a polaroid photograph of the two of them, one of his favourite from the camera that Lorne carried around with him.