Before She Even Knows

Chapter 5 - Where the hell were you?

EMMA'S POV

The next couple of weeks went by really fast with classes and everything else. I'm still trying to get used to college life. It's just so different than what I imagined.

I guess years of research about Boston College didn't prepare me for reality.

Even though I'm exhausted and it's more intense than I expected, I like my classes and professors so far. I have three assignments due next week that I didn't even start, so I'm trying not to panic and tell myself that I can do this.

I also got closer to my new friends and it feels like Mads and I have been friends for a long time by now.

I saw Noah a few times the week after the party, but he just looked away or made some rude comments. Some other times, he'd just leave when I arrived, making me think that maybe I have a stinking problem that no one had the courage to tell me about.

It's the only reasonable explanation for him to avoid me like vampires avoid light.

If I'm going to have to be around him because he's Mads best friend - which I still don't get, by the way - we should at least don't hate each other.

It will be hard to live controlling my violent instincts when it comes to him, because he's so frustrating.

Well, I did tell that I'd be out of his way, so I can't complain, can I?

I guess it was around Wednesday that I decided to give up the nice attitude, so when he glared at me, I glared back.

This is our ''relationship'', pure dislike towards each other and I'm fine with it. I swear that I am.

What bothers me though is that I know he's not completely ignoring me, I know he's paying attention.

One day Mads and I were talking about some random stuff and I heard him mumble an answer to himself when I asked a question, clearly making fun of me, but when I confronted him about it, he just said 'nothing' and smirked.

He freaking smirked.

And it has been like this most of the time.

Oh, the joys of friendship.

I get even more frustrated when I see him talking to other people. He's not the extrovert person that Madeleine is, she always looks like a happy puppy after all, but at least he's able to have a decent conversation, except with me.

Strangely, I haven't seen him anywhere the past week. He was not at our usual spot at the library nor at the coffee shop I know he also goes sometimes, or with Mads.

The boy was nowhere to be seen.

I thought about what might have happened to him more than I should and I know I have to let this go for my own sake.

It's not like I care.

Why don't you just admit you're worried about him?

Because I'm not. Why would I be worried about him? Please.

Look at you, lying to yourself.

Shut the hell up.

Going back to my week, before I lose my - annoying - mind.

Mads thought we should have Thursday nights as our roommates bonding night, as she named it as our moment to do whatever we want together. Yesterday we watched sappy movies until neither of us could stay awake anymore.

It's finally Friday and I'm not surprised when Mads, very excitedly, told me there would be another party.

I didn't want to go to any last week, I had too much to study to avoid being left behind in my classes, so I'm kind of looking forward to the party today. I could use a good relaxing time after studying my bones off.