The Escort

Jimin Becomes Cynical

Once they'd both left, Y/N allowed herself to slump on the couch in exhaustion. She was doing this. She couldn't believe it. She was somehow going to have to find the self-assurance to let that attractive man lead her into doing things she'd never done before. He'd have his fingers, his lips on her. And she'd be able to run her hands over those thighs he'd been attempting to show off during the meeting.

She couldn't do this. She had to. She couldn't.

She knew if she didn't she would carry contempt for herself for the rest of her life. Not able to do something even the simplest of humans found easy.

It was just one meeting. If she didn't like it, she didn't have to book the next one. She could always kick him out if things went wrong. She was under no obligation here.

She had to at least try for her future sanity and not think too much, otherwise she'd paralyze herself and have Jin cancel the meeting tomorrow when he came in.

She had to try.

-

The one thing Jimin loved about their weekly get-togethers was not having to dress up. Not having to worry about how he looked. He could show up looking like a mess and no one cared. He currently sat, cross-legged, watching Jungkook play some kind of game on his phone. It was nice to not have to....be on all the time.

He felt like he was always on. He had to be professional at all times. There was always the risk of running into a client when he was out and mentally he was always juggling them. So-and-so needed this, he needed to watch one who kept pushing the boundaries they'd set, this one was kind and they got on with it....

"Deep thoughts?" Yoongi handed him a beer and plopped down on the couch next to him.

"Just....sometimes wonder why I do what I do." Yoongi took a sip and rolled the bitter beverage around on his tongue before swallowing. He'd been noticing that Jimin looked unhappier lately.

"Do you not like it anymore?" That was the other nice thing about his brothers, they didn't judge.

"I do....I just...." Jimin bit his lip, trying to figure out how to articulate his thoughts. "I want to be respected. People respect you because you produce music. When you introduce yourself you can say "I'm a producer". People respect Taehyung because he's a writer. He can tell them what book he's had published. People talk to me and..." JImin took a big gulp of his drink before continuing. "And I either can't tell them what I do or they immediately look down on me for being a prostitute." Yoongi said nothing, letting him continue. "I just want to walk into a place and not have people assume I'm stupid because I use my body to make money. Or worthless. I can have thoughts, like Namjoon-hyung, too."

"No one has thoughts like Joon." Yoongi corrected.

"You know what I mean."

"Why do you care so much what people think?" Yoongi had given up on that a long time ago. He knew it was actually easier for him. He'd been so stomped into the ground when he first started out that anything else seemed a step up. For people like Jimin, who thrived on attention, it was a lot harder to balance attracting it and allowing it to run your thoughts. "You chose this, Jimin. You thought everything out, looked at your options, and decided this one worked the best for you at the time. At the end of the day, as long as it gives you what you want, that's all that matters."

"Yeah but, hyung, I want good attention. And maybe to use my degree..." Yoongi cut him off by laughing.

"Oh, please. If you want to use business we both know you'd have to get some paper-pushing desk job somewhere and you won't be able to take that." He did have a point. Jimin had found the thought of not being active to be horrifying. He didn't want to slowly rot away behind a desk, gradually acquiring a thick middle section, for 40 years. "You've always thought outside the lines, Jiminie. That's not bad but it means people won't understand you." Yoongi took another sip. "How often do you do anything besides escorting?" Jimin sighed.

"Not often. I'm either prepping or recovering."

"You started this to give yourself freedom. Maybe that's what you need. To not get so caught up in your work and invest in your hobbies. When's the last time you danced?" Jimin tried to think.

"Maybe in my kitchen a couple weeks ago..."

They were interrupted by Hoseok joining them both, chattering about something that neither really heard.

"I think you need to remind yourself why you decided to do this in the first place. Just a thought." And with that the conversation was ended, Yoongi's advice ringing in Jimin's ears.