The Escort

Absolutely Not

The second time Jimin woke up Y/N wasn't there. Her sleep at the hospital had been fitful, the day hours spent watching over Jimin, the night hours on the phone and emailing people. She had protested but Taehyung had finally dragged her out of the room and to the hotel, shoving her in the bathroom and telling her he wouldn't let her out until he'd heard that shower running for at least 15 minutes.

And then he'd sat, back against the headboard, her phone in his hands. She would get a good night's sleep or else. It wasn't exactly....the best way to get someone to relax, but Y/N was so exhausted her body succumbed once the temptation to rest was dangled in front of her. Taehyung fell asleep too, mouth open, head slumping forward. He wasn't the best at guard duty apparently. He was just lucky the person he was guarding was too tired to make an escape.

It was because of this mutual exhaustion that both his and Y/N's phones went unanswered, until he snorted in his sleep and tried to roll over, only to groggily realize he was sitting up against wood. He'd smacked his lips, feeling her phone still in his hand, and squinted at the screen as he tried to make himself more comfortable. It was fuzzy at first but when he saw the notification message and the missed calls his eyes widened and he bolted upright, reaching over to shake Y/N awake.

She started and sat up, looking around wildly, like she thought they were in danger. When she realized they weren't she turned to glare at Taehyung and give him a piece of her mind, but stopped at the expression on his face.

"He woke up. Gaja."

-

She and Taehyung both took deep breathes, slowing down so they wouldn't rush in and startle Jimin, before knocking and opening the door. He was awake. He was conscious. And he wasn't screaming.

But he still looked like shit. It wasn't just the bruises and bandages. He looked like he'd been put through the wringer mentally. Which he had been.

"Jimin." She said softly, taking a couple hesitant steps towards him, afraid of doing something he'd be uncomfortable with. But he anxiously looked at her and held out his hand, pulling her towards him when she took it. "Hi, love." She said quietly, standing over him. He was looking at her and.....she couldn't tell what he was thinking. But he tugged on her hand again and she squeezed. He frowned and tugged again, causing her to bend over slightly.

"Close." He whispered. "As close as you can." Ah, that she understood. She pulled a chair over, resting on her elbows on the bed and letting their hands rest on his lap. But it wasn't enough. His frowned deepened and he tugged again. "Come closer."

"Jimin, I can't put any weight on your torso...."

"Y/N, please." His voice rose and he sounded slightly panicked. Y/N was worried about causing him pain, making things worse for his ribs. But she couldn't stand to see the distress on his face either. So she scooted forward, hesitantly laying her head on his stomach, trying to avoid where his ribs had been broken. He winced but squeezed the hand still in his lap. She reached her other one up to gently stroke his shoulder, looking up at him. He was looking down but he wasn't looking at her. She wanted to ask what he was thinking....what he was feeling.....but she didn't want to push him either.

So they lay there quietly, the other four eventually leaving to give them some privacy.

Jimin took a deep, shaky breath. He looked like he was trying not to cry.

"I'm here, love." A squeeze. She was here. He was safe now.

"I just wanted you." He said, finally looking at her. "I was hurting, I didn't know....I was so confused.....I just wanted you. So stay close." She nodded slightly.

"I'm not going anywhere."

"Okay. Okay." He was repeating it to himself, like he was trying to reassure himself that he didn't need to fear her leaving.

They didn't talk anymore, both eventually drifting off.

-

The psychiatrist came to visit Jimin the next day. He didn't want Y/N to leave, he looked slightly panicky when she did. But it was important that he feel free to talk without any coercion, or as little as possible.  Jungkook had to translate obviously.  The police visited later to take down his statement, this time she was allowed to stay with him.

He just wanted her close. She finally had to climb into the bed and curl up next to him, afraid of worsening his injuries but also afraid of him not feeling her close. Hoseok and Taehyung helped her shuffle things around with as little movement to Jimin as possible.

Jimin had talked to the psychiatrist and the police, but with them they weren't entirely sure he was coherent. His eyes would glaze over, he would drift off to sleep only to start and wake up in a panic, until he realized Y/N was there. And then he would cling as tight as was possible with his injuries.

It was a couple days before he finally seemed to realize that Y/N wasn't going to leave, that she was right beside him, that he didn't need to be afraid. He wasn't alone, he wasn't powerless.

"I keep feeling scared, like something's gonna happen again." He finally admitted to her, as tangled in her arms as was possible. Jungkook was sitting next to the bed, playing a game on his phone. But he looked up as soon as Jimin started talking. Y/N didn't say anything, just gently rubbed his arm and squeezed his hand. "I know it won't but....I can't help it....."

"It's normal." She whispered. "It's okay to feel this way. You're trying to heal and process a lot of shit at the same time. You should expect to feel this way for quite awhile." Jimin was quiet, trying to figure out what else he wanted to say. How to put what to tell her into words.

"I felt so humiliated." He finally whispered. "I felt so terrified. They were....they did....and I couldn't stop it...." Jungkook leaned forward and rested his cheek on Jimin's legs, gently rubbing his knee. Not saying anything but letting Jimin know he was here. They were both here. "They held me down and I had to just lay there and be helpless and take it...." Y/N bit her lip and her grip on him tightened. "It's all I can think about."

"And that's okay. It's okay to feel this way."

"I should've...." Jimin's eyes filled with tears as his thoughts took off in another direction, but he was startled by Y/N's loud voice.

"No." She sat up partially, her eyes searching his. "You should've nothing. He shouldn't have done it. He is entirely responsible. You should've nothing. Nothing. Nothing." She closed her eyes, like she was struggling with something, then leaned forward and lightly touched their foreheads together. "I know it's hard. But please, please, please. Please don't do that to yourself. Just tell those thoughts to fuck off, whatever you need to do. Please, I don't want to watch you think like that about yourself." Jimin swallowed and nodded as her voice took on a pleading tone. Okay. He would try his best. Okay.