Love Again (Second Chances Series Book 2)

I say bullshit...

Oliver answers the door when I get to their house.

"Hey, Em. How are you doing?"

"I'm okay. Where's Lily?" I follow him inside.

"She's out for a run with Milo. She should be back soon. Can I get you a drink or anything?"

"No I'm okay. Thank you. Is Olivia napping?"

"No. She's in her room." He pauses and looks at me. "With Leo."

I'm surprised. "Lily didn't say anything about Leo when I talked to her."

"She didn't know. He just showed up while she was out. It seems both of you had the same idea today."

"Okay. Well I can go then. Tell Lily-"

"Emma. You don't have to run off. Go upstairs. You've both obviously had a bad day and while my daughter is perfect I don't think she's actually what either of you need."

I nob my head and head towards the stairs.

Oliver follows. "Do you need any help?"

"No I've got it. Thank you."

I slowly make my way up the stairs and then I stop outside Olivia's door when I hear Leo talking.

"What am I going to do Liv? I'm so in love with your Aunt Emma but I dont know how to move on from the past. One way or another I have to figure it out though. I have to figure it out for Aunt Emma and for myself."

I feel bad for eavesdropping so I make some noise before I knock on the door.

"Sorry for interrupting. Can I come in?"

"Hey gorgeous. Yes, join us please."

Him and Olivia are playing on the floor but he picks her up and stands as I make my way in the room. He comes to me and kisses me on the cheek.

"What are you doing here?"

"I called Lily and asked if I could come get some Olivia time. Something about this little girl just makes everything better. I'm sorry to cut in on your time with her."

"No. It's okay, really. Why don't you sit in the rocker."

I get settled in and he moves my crutches out of the way so Olivia can't get them.

"Hey pretty girl, go say hi to Aunt Emma."

He hands me the baby and when she lays her head on my shoulder I close my eyes and hold her close.

"You okay Em?"

"Yeah. Just one of those days. I went to visit my mom at the cemetery."

"Was that a good thing or a bad thing. I know it can go either way."

"It was sad but still a good thing. I was able to talk to her and just be near her. While I know she's no longer here that's where her body is and find comfort in being close to her there."

"I understand that. I spent a lot time at the cemetery after Eli and Cassie died. Some people find cemeteries creepy, I find them to be beautiful and cathartic."

"Me too." I move Olivia so that she's sitting up on my lap facing me. "So what brought you by to spend time with this sweet girl?"

"Same thing as you. I had a rough day and needed something to make me smile."

I tickle Olivia and she gives me a great big belly laugh. The smile that crosses my face is huge and genuine.

"I miss that sound. Eli had the best laugh." I look up at him and our eyes meet. "I also miss that smile of yours. I miss you."

"Leo, I miss you too but you need to stop telling me that. It's making things harder for me. It's also making me angry."

"Why is it making you angry?"

I pull Olivia back against me and start to rock in the chair as I look him in the eye and answer.

"Because you're one hundred percent in control here. When it comes to the two of us you hold all the cards. And God dammit if you miss me so much and you love me then what the hell are you waiting for?" Before he can give me the same old line I keep going. "I know, I know. You're scared. You're trying to be better. You don't want to hurt me. Well I say bullshit to all of that. Because you know what Leo? I'm scared too. I'm scared that I'm not enough for you. I'm scared that I'll never be enough for you. And you know what else. I don't want you to be better for me because to me you're already perfect. You, as you are right now, is the man I fell in love with. I don't need or want you to be different. I know you have faults and I know you have baggage but I dont care. I'm willing to be there to help you through whatever life throws at you. Because that's what you do when you love someone. You're there to help them through the good times and the bad. You're there to help them heal. I want to be there for you. And Leo, I'm also trying to heal and I want you there for me."

I stand up and hand a sleepy Olivia over to him so he can put her in her crib. When he's done I go on.

"And lastly Leo, you not being with me right now so that you don't hurt me is completely moronic of you. Because you are hurting me. Right here and now, you are hurting me." I grab my crutches and make my way out of the room.

He follows me out. "Emma stop." I stop but don't turn to look at him. "You can't throw all of that at me and then just walk away."

I do turn then. "Why not? Did anything I just said magically make you ready to be with me?" When he just stands there and doesn't respond I let out a sad little laugh. "I didn't think so. Goodbye Leo."

"Emma wait. Please." He comes up to me and takes my face in his hands. "I love you."

I pull back. "Stop it! Stop telling me you miss me and you love me. You obviously didn't listen to a word I just said."

"God dammit I did listen! I'm trying Emma. I swear to god I'm fucking trying. Do you think this is easy for me? Do you think loving you and not being with you is easy?"

"So fucking stop denying yourself happiness Leo! I'm right here. I'm right fucking in front of you. I am so hopelessly in love with you and I'm right fucking here." I put my hand on his cheek. "I'm right here." I kiss him and for a minute he kisses me back. But too soon he pulls away.

He puts his hands on my arms and pushes me away from him. Without looking me in the eye he says.

"I can't. I'm sorry Emma, I just can't. Not yet."

And then he turns and walks down the stairs leaving me alone once again.