Empyrean Iris Story Collection

Rumors

As it turns out, there are a lot of misconceptions in the galaxy about humans especially from those aliens who have not yet seen a human. I, as a scientist, was interested in learning about these different viewpoints and how they diverge from each other because t– in my experience – there are many outlandish and sometimes wildly opposing rumors related to their species.

So as a little experiment, I have gone around the galaxy and asked all of the different species to describe a human to me in as much detail as they possibly can thinking it would be an interesting experiment to compare the different sides.

As a disclaimer, this will not be a full list, because I couldn't get access to some of the species, but hopefully the scientific community might find this interesting.

Bran: Hulking monsters, that's what I heard, hulking monsters with an immunity to poison. They can walk through water like it's nothing, and they are absolutely unstoppable. You can't outrun them, you can't outclimb them. They have a ravening, raving biological urge to hunt and kill. I have a relative who has met a human, and he told me that if you ever run into a human your best bet is to back away slowly. If you run they have a predatory instinct to chase you, so you have to be careful.

Celzex: The humans are nothing special really. Sure they are rather tall, and they have the proper thoughts of mighty warriors, but when you get right down to it they are merely naked giants. They have very long legs, and strangely enough they are not intimidated by our demonstrations of superior might in battle. Furthermore humans are very touchy-feely. They are always trying to touch you when they get the chance, which seems rather odd since they don't seem to do it to any other species.

Iotins: Humans are like nothing we've ever seen or known. They are almost like magic, did you know that humans can detect, sense, and identify particles in the air at only a millionth of a percentile. There is no way to hide form a human , and if they want to find you they can do it. Humans are always hungry, and if it weren't for GA laws they would probably eat everyone. As far as a description goes, humans are...... bony and lumpy with legs that are too long and fingers that are too long.

Tvek: They're beautiful.... Beautiful gods. So graceful like when they move they flow like water, when they smile they light up a room, and when they laugh it's like the twinkling of stars overhead. They are so wise, and just and fair and they understand so much that we never could. Humans are so powerful, and they could easily dominate the galaxy if they chose to do so, but they do not because they are wise and gentle. If you ever get the chance to hear a human sing, you should do it because it is as if the creator of all things lent secret power to their voices. Humans have the power to fly you know and they can control the element of fire.

Vrul: Illogical infuriating, and down right annoying in most cases. Even if you were to learn the human language, you would never be able to understand them because often they say things they do not mean or they say something and mean the opposite. Everything they do is in a strange code, like they will be talking about cats and dogs but really be referring to the weather. Not to mention they have a plethora of bodily signals that are impossible to read. They have too few limbs, to much hair, and an excessive amount of extra senses, like particle detection. Everything about humans is aggressive and violent and they should be treated as such.

Tesraki: Well I'll tell ou about humans. I have heard so many stories that I might as well be an expert. First of all humans are freaky and hairless with massive holes in the side of their head and sharp bones sticking out of their faces that they use to crush their prey. Their skin is supposedly translucent so you can see their innards from the outside, like veins and stuff under the skin. I heard they are all rubbery and stretchy and their fingers have extra joints in them. They have full laws and you can see their bones protruding ready to break from their skin. Humans can hear almost as well as we do, but they can see hundreds of different wavelengths of color. People say that humans drink meat, but I am pretty sure they don't drink blood. My uncle tells me that you should never sign a contract with a human because they will probably steal your soul. Oh, and never give a human your true name because they might come find you later.

Burg: Humans! Humans are rotting scum, absolute filth. They are a pathetic squishy maggoty creature that wins all of its engagements through cheating and guile. They have venomous saliva and are a walking biohazard. Everywhere they go they shed disease and dead molecules to permeate the air. I am told, if you live long enough with a human, you will be forced to clean your space of germs and dead human particles built up about your home. They have no honor, and their words are filled with lies. Their skin is soft and they hide their skeleton on the inside, and when they talk it is a grating screech all cut up and sharp. Humans are dul creatures, but they are useful in battle because of how durable they are.

Drev: Humans are strange creatures. They are a great warrior race, though they are small and weak in body. They have no armor to speak of and thus are very easy to kill. However, they grow stronger the more limbs of theirs you remove because they will replace them with machines. Humans are much more vicious than any other species we know because they kill to kill they do not kill for honor.

Rundi: humans are an absolute PR nightmare, that is what they are. Every time there is a human involved you can be sure they are going to do something reckless stupid or scary. Make sure that everything in your vicinity is non toxic to humans because they WILL put it in their mouths. Humans are like children, they are curious in a bad way and they have no issue lying to you if they see the need, especially in politics. If you have to oversee a human you will be constantly trying to justify their mistakes or getting them to behave. They are especially annoying in large groups were their social nature creates unusual hierarchies which are difficult to work with.

Prodigum An inconsequential might. A mere trifling interest. Humans are small, soft and weak, However they do have lovely singing voices. I have a colleague who owns humans. He keeps them in a cage and has them sing to him. Really humans are pretty easy to control as long as you feed them and give them shelter. Other than that they are no more useful than an exotic pet.

Gibb (one of the crazy ones): They are dark gods, dark gods concealed within a flesh prison just waiting to be released. They are a creature of immense power and strength being dampened by the hindrance of a physical form. Why do you think humans are so powerful, why do you think humans have an innate sense of danger because they are connected to the ether around them, and they long to return to the embrace of the universe as a being of pure power.

Gromm: To put it lightly, humans are kind of dumb. I mean they are very brave and they are very generous, don't get us wrong but they are generally bumbling and like fun more than they are serious. I would suggest having a human as a friend but not a work colleague.

Common rumors about humans.

They drink blood

They eat flesh raw

They have control of fire.

They can divine the future.

They cannot pass through a circle made of ground sulfur.

They can hypnotize you with their singing.

They can hypnotize you if you look them in the eye.

They are really a parasite living inside a human meat suit.

If you make a deal with one, you are bound for life

You should never tell one your true name.

If you use their rue name they can hear you and will be able to find you.

They breathe acid.

They are venomous.

They are magic

They are indestructible.

They have wings.

They can smell fear.

You can fend of humans with talismans made of copper

Feel free to add to the list of myths about humans if I have missed some your help would be greatly appreciated.