Chosen (Damiano David & Victoria DeAngelis)

Chapter 33

She could barely see anything when walking back to the bed, almost tripping over a pile of clothes. She eventually managed though, laying down next to him again. Reluctantly and as careful as possible, she wrapped one of her arms around him, kinda like she was spooning him. For a few moments, it was silent but then he intertwined their fingers, holding onto her hand. He was tense, she could feel that very clearly but she did her best to make him relax a bit, tenderly caressing his hand. "It hurts, Vic...it hurts so fucking much...", the way his voice sounded almost tore her heart apart. He sounded so broken and hurt, it was almost unbearable. "What hurts, Angel?", it was a hard question to ask but luckily the darkness really seemed to help. "My whole body...just everything.", he sounded so ashamed. "Can I do anything to make it better, Angel?", she asked in a very gentle tone of voice but he just shook his head: "I don't think so...but I don't know..." "Okay...it's okay to feel lost, Angel...it's okay to feel hurt and it's okay to cry." After that, he finally turned around. She gently brushed through his hair and down his face, feeling that his cheeks were wet. "Oh, Angel...", she whispered, placing a comforting kiss on his forehead. "I loved her...I loved her so much but I wasn't good enough for her...", he sobbed a little, holding onto her hips as if he was searching for support. "That's not true, Damiano...she was abusive and you deserve so much better.", she soothed, letting her hand travel down his arm, feeling the uneven skin underneath her fingertips. He tensed up for a second, presumably because they still felt sore as part of them were fairly fresh. "I should be thankful. So many men are dreaming of...you know...doing it...with a woman like her." She was honestly shocked. Once again she realized how fucked up their society was, making a guy believe that he should be thankful for being raped. "No, no, no...Angel, you listen to me now, okay? You do not need to be thankful for anything that woman did to you. I know it must be hard to accept because you love her very much but what she did to you is a crime. It doesn't matter if you are a guy, a girl or anything in between...things done without consent or with force...sexual things...physical things and even emotional things...that's called abuse and you are allowed to feel hurt and depressed.", her voice was soothing and calm but on the inside she was boiling with anger. The hatred she felt for Carla was unbelievable. His crying got heavier and he held onto her tightly, so she began caressing his back a bit. "I...I know you're right...but...but I can't get rid of those thoughts...I just can't...", he sniffled and she tenderly wiped over his face with her hand to remove the tears even though there was no use because they were constantly running down his cheeks. "And that's okay, Damiano...it really is. She manipulated you and things like that take a very long time to heal. But...when did all of that start?", she was scared of asking him questions but in the dark everything seemed easier for her as well. "I...I can't remember. She...well...she told me things right from the start...but...the other...you know...well...that started...I don't know...I...maybe...maybe a year ago...", he was stuttering a lot because of the heartbreaking sobs...maybe even out of embarrassment but Victoria was just speechless. "A year? How on earth did you keep that a secret for so long? Why did you never come to me?", she did her best to keep calm because that way it was easier to calm him down as well. "I don't know...I didn't want to lose her...I didn't want to disgust you...I didn't want you to judge me. She said nobody would want to help me because I am supposed to be thankful. She said she would say I did bad things to her if I ever told anyone. I don't know...I guess I was just scared...to be honest, I still am. I'm fucking scared of everyone finding out...of not being able to cope anymore. And more than anything of losing you...you're all I have now, Vic."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Hey ;)

I have some things to say, so please read them :)

First of all, thank you so much for all of your support. I never thought that somebody would actually like my story, so I appreciate every single one of you :)

Secondly, I would like to touch on the subject of abuse of men again. I am in no way trying to say that women's problems and struggles are invalid. But I do think that in our society with everyone so focused on women's rights, men's problems are often overlooked. I just want to say: this might be a fictional story but the subject of it is very much real. Men can get bullied, men can get sexualized, men can be abused in all forms, men can be manipulated, men can be raped and men can struggle with depression, anxiety and all of that just as much as woman. So please, while fighting for women's rights and standing up for women try not to exclude men. Try not to be part of the "I hate all men" movement. Try not to put all men into one pot. We are supposed to be equal, so let's try to act like it.

Finally, I have decided to split this story into two or even more books. I still have so many ideas but I don't want everything written in the same book. What do you think? Would you like to read a second part once I finishe with this book to see how it continues? Let me know please because I will only publish it if people are still going to read it. Of course, I will inform you about the details later on.

As always, let me know what you think of the chapter :)

Thanks for reading.

- Thalia