Chosen (Damiano David & Victoria DeAngelis)

Chapter 39

The next day she woke up feeling exhausted. He was still asleep, her arms wrapped around him loosely. She felt extremely guilty... he had hurt himself because of her. Once again, she felt tears in her eyes but she held them back. Knowing that she was a reason for his pain was the worst feeling she had ever experienced. She took a deep breath and looked down at him: He looked so beautiful and peaceful, his soft brown hair falling into his closed eyes. She remained next to him, gently twirling a strand of his hair between her fingers before letting them travel down the side of his face and to his cheek, feeling his warm skin underneath her fingertips. He didn't wake up. She didn't mind...she liked just being able to look at him and caress him a bit. Was that weird to do as a friend? Lately she had been wondering about that a lot but she barely had time to properly think about it. Subconsciously, her hand made its way down his arm, gently touching all the sensitive spots that were covered in scars. She still thought that it would be important for him to talk about everything but she had no idea how to approach that situation. Maybe Ethan could help...but he didn't know about the abuse, so she couldn't talk to him about it. She sighed, closing her eyes for a moment while just inhaling his scent. He smelled like a mixture of smoke, his usual perfume she couldn't really define the scent of and caramel from their bath earlier that night...and for some reason it was the most calming and perfect thing she had ever smelled in her life. Without even thinking about it or knowing why, she took his hand in her own and placed a light kiss on his scarred wrist. After that, she blushed. Gosh, why had she done that? That was so unnecessary and cheesy. Hopefully, he hadn't noticed. That would be awkward. Friends didn't do things like that, right? Then again, this wasn't a normal friendship...it was an extraordinary situation, so it was just an exception. She sighed frustrated and got up to take a shower, letting him sleep a little longer.

After breakfast they had some more time before driving to the concert hall. Victoria got up, ready to go back to her room but Ethan stopped her: "Hey, Vic...I need your help with something. Do you have a second?" Instantly, she knew that was just a lie in order to not reveal to Damiano that he knew about certain things. She looked at Damiano, not wanting to leave without his consent ever again. He just nodded a bit, not making a big scene out of it, so she followed Ethan outside onto the streets. They walked for a bit and eventually sat down underneath a tree. "What happened after we got back yesterday, Vic? I heard him cry again...and you look exhausted." She was so close to just bursting into tears, she couldn't even answer. It was like her throat was totally closed up by the sobs she was holding back. "Oh God...come here.", he pulled her into a hug and suddenly it was like someone had taken away all her emotional strength as the hot tears began to stream down her face. She was sobbing quietly into Ethan's shoulder as he caressed her back in a very gentle way, almost like she was always doing for Damiano. "I shouldn't have left yesterday...I should've known it was the wrong thing to do...", she whispered while trying to calm herself down. Ethan held her in his arms, protectively brushing through her mid length hair: "Did he...you know...hurt himself because you left?" Hearing it aloud made everything even more real and unbearable. She wiped her eyes, trying to get rid of the tears, though it didn't work. She nodded a bit: "Yeah...yeah he did. And he was scared and anxious and he panicked and I didn't know what to but somehow I managed but I feel so guilty...I should have thought about the consequences before just leaving..." He handed her a tissue so she could dry her face a bit: "You don't have to feel guilty. You're doing everything you can for him and I am sure all of that was just a reaction to what he's going through...whatever that might be. You're doing just fine. I know it's hard to notice how great you're doing sometimes but if you look at the small signs you can see how much you are actually helping him. He probably just overreacted because he is so used to having you around." She nodded a bit and took a deep breath: "Thanks, Ethan...it's just...sometimes I feel like I'm not helping at all. I mean...he's still doing things to himself...so what help am I, really?" She felt his hand on her back which was extremely calming for some reason: "Listen to me, Vic...just because he hasn't stopped yet, doesn't mean you're not helping. Healing takes a long long time sometimes and you gotta be patient but, and I know that sounds harsh, if it wasn't for you, he might not even be alive anymore." She shook her head in disbelief: "Please don't say that..." "I know, it's hard to hear but it's true. So, if you ever feel like you're not helping, just look at things from another perspective. Thanks to you, he has someone who takes care of his physical wounds. Thanks to you, he has someone to take care of his emotional wounds...someone who is always there for him. In you, he has found a person he can always rely on and show his real feelings to. Someone who is not afraid to deal with his feelings and someone who is not afraid of being physically close to him. Thanks to you, he doesn't have to go through all of that alone. And believe me, that alone is worth a lot already."

Later, on their way to the concert hall, she was sitting next to Damiano. He seemed anxious already which was definitely a red flag. In her opinion, the tour needed to end...right now. But there were still two weeks left and he didn't seem interested in stopping it, whatsoever. Yes, of course, that would make people suspicious... but it was better than seeing him suffer so much every god damn day before going on stage. Subconsciously, while they were trapped in traffic, her hand traveled down to his hand, embracing it in a subtle but comforting way. She caressed the back of his hand, feeling Ethan's eyes on them which made her a bit uncomfortable. But she wasn't going to pull her hand away...she didn't want him to feel rejected. Damiano didn't look at her but he mouthed a very quiet: "Thank you" Her next words came without thinking and completely silent, so he would have to look at her for understanding what she had said: "Always, Angel...Always."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Hey ;)

I hope I am not boring you with chapters like these but I promise there will be a climax soon...just a few more chapters.

So...is Victoria's behaviour normal for a friend? Or could it be that she's starting to develop different feelings for him?  Do you think she should blame herself for leaving that night or not? Do you think they should end the tour early? And, finally, do you think she is actually helping him like Ethan said or is it all just for nothing? Let me know all of that in the comments :)

Thanks for reading.

- Thalia