Ateez Little Space

89 - Hongjoong X Ateez : I don't know

Little : Hongjoong
Caregivers : ATEEZ
Contains a little bit of Angst !
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Hongjoong's POV :
Little space ? Something most people don't know about , or misunderstand it . That's the only reason keeping me from telling my members who i trust with my life . I don't want to ruin this friendship and trust . It will surely affect our team and i can't handle the guilt . That's why i made sure to keep it a secret , no matter what , no one of them will know . And my studio is my secret place , i keep all my little space's belongings in there , no one can go in there without me being present .
Until that day .
My birthday is tomorrow , and i was making sure to finish everything before going back to the dorm and spend my special day with my members .
I packed all my things and went back home , i knocked but no one opened the door , the same when i rang the bell. I searched for my keys and opened the door , it was all dark and no sound can be heard . I checked my phone but no one notified me that they are going out or something , i shrugged and was about to take off ly shoes when suddenly a loud noise was heard followed by the lights turning on and the woosan jumping in front of me
'' HAPPY BIRTHDAYYY '' they screamed and i covered my ears feeling like my heart is going to bust out of my chest from how hard it's beating and in no time tears were running down my face
'' hyung '' mingi called crouching down to hug me but i let a sob out alerting everyone
'' did we scare you hongjoong ? '' seonghwa asked and i just looked at hum with sad eyes
'' hey what's wrong ? '' he asked worried
'' scawed '' i said and literally , you can hear the silence in the house .
'' w-what was that ? '' yunho asked and i covered my mouth with my hands letting more tears .
'' is there something we need to know about ? '' yeosang asked and i felt nauseous from the stress , i can't deny this now , they caught me , how am i going to explain ?
'' joong '' i looked at my only hyung and he smiled at me '' we can hear you out alright ? '' he said and i nodded
'' don't be scared '' san whispered smiling at me once we sat down and i looked at all of the eyes fixed on me
After explaining everything in details ,what it is , how and when it started , i hesitantly looked at my right to meet mingi's smile
'' i don't know why you have been hiding this ! " He said and i felt a bit relieved
'' i agree with mingi, there's no problem in having a little doesang '' wooyoung winked making me blush
'' what the fuck !? '' my heart skipped a beat and i felt my throat getting dry upon hearing those words , i looked up to see jongho , my lovely maknae  that i saw growing up infront of me , looking at me with disgust .
'' what's wrong with you ! You can't be acting like 2 or 3 years old when you are almost 23 ! Grow up hyung ! '' he yelled trying to leave the room
'' hey jongho ! '' Yeosang stood yelling back '' know your place ! Did he harm you in any way ?! No !!! Then at least be respectful ''
'' i agree ! '' yunho who is usually a calm person , glared at jongho
'' fine ! Think whatever you want but i am not supporting such a ridiculous thing ! Never ! '' he walked out slamming the door. 
My biggest fear , the thing that i was never ready to face , is happening because of me
'' hey hey , joong, look at me ! '' seonghwa said cupping face as i sobbed my heart out '' we will solve this don't worry , alright ? Don't cry darling " he said hugging me and i cried myself to sleep .
Days went by and nothing got better between us , jongho refuses to talk to anyone , or he gives short cold answers , he doesn't even eat or sit with us , the others tried to reassure me but i can't help but think that it's my mistake .
In the other hand , i got more opportunities to slip and play with people , i always cuddle with seonghwa who never forgets to compliment and praise me about my looks , efforts , how good of a leader i am , yunho and mingi took me to do shopping and bought everything i want , plushies , pacifiers , clothes ... , Yeosang always reads me stories before my nap and takes me for walks when the park is not crowded , meanwhile wooyoung and san played with me all the time , they give the best kisses and makes watching cartoons even more fun .
Today , we had a shooting for a new reality show that will be aired on universe , it was just fed games and missions to clear not much , that's why seonghwa said that it's okay to be little until the shooting officially starts , i was sitting on the ground colouring while the others sat around either on their phones like jongho or talking about i don't know what . I was quiet which is unlike me so san approached me and started talking with me
'' what are you colouring sweetie ? '' he asked and i pointed to the flower in the book . To be honest i was affraid i will upset jongho more and ruin this schedule .
After few minutes , i crawled to lean on the couch , i was so immersed in my colouring to the point when yunho called for me i raised my head so quick forgetting about the table on my right
'' careful !! '' jongho screamed reaching to put his head on the crown on my head to make sure i won't get hit
'' you almost - '' he started but stopped once he noticed how i was starring at him with teary eyes . For the first time in days , i saw something different from hate and disgust in his eyes. Care and concern  .
'' hyung ..." He called calmly and i  just couldn't hold it back anymore so crawled over to him and hugged him from the waist hiding my face in his lap . I was crying so hard that i failed to feel his arms around me
'' i am sorry hongjoongie '' he whispered kissing my nape and i smiled even tho no one can see it . I didn't want to pull away afraid it was just my imagination playing tricks on me .
'' hey baby '' it was clear that it's jongho and hearing him calling me that made butterflies spread in my stomach
'' come up here '' he said picking me up and putting me on his lap and made sure to wipe away all the tears and press few kisses on my face
'' i am really sorry , it was just ... Unexpected and i didn't know how to react '' he said caressing my hair and i leaned into the touch
'' someone is finally back to his right mind '' yunho said smiling at jongho
'' i am proud of you maknae " yeosang said and jongho looked down
We turned to look at the other side when we heard wooyoung and mingi laugh , to find seonghwa carefully wiping tears from his face to not ruin the makeup
'' dont' judge me ! It was just emotional and beautiful '' he said breaking into new tears making everyone laugh .