Feelings

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After Wei Wuxian and Hanguang-Jun fled I ran away from there. I did not know where to go. I went inside the library and closed its door. I knew no one will come here and I will be at peace.

There were varied thoughts onside my mind. I just picked one book reading a random page to calm my mind.

One day a man along with his children Ryan and Ira planted a peach tree. The seeds were from the fruit they ate last night. Both the children were excited and took good care of the tree. Daily, they used to come and sprinkle water on it.

As the tree grew Ira and Ryan used to play hide and seek or chase each other around the tree. The tree grew along with them. They fed it with animal bones and its waste as bone meal. Then one fine day tree had its first fruit. The pinky orange skin around a round pulpy shape fruit looked like the most beautiful thing. Both the children had water dripping from their throats. They jumped high enough to pluck it from tree. With caution then Ryan shook the tree and finally the peach fell on ground. Their eyes glistened looking at its beauty. Ryan picked it from ground and bought it close to its mouth when he realized Ira was also eagerly waiting to taste it. He gave it to her and ask her to take its first bite. On her first bite she felt something stuck in her throat. She was choked. She started coughing and vomiting blood. Her entire body was turning blue. Fear gripped Ryan's body. He ran to his father and bought him towards tree for Ira's rescue. The medics told they had delayed getting Ira there. The fruit that tree borne were all poisonous. Anger flushed his entire body. He kicked tree several times but still he wasn't able to recover the loss. He sat under the tree and cried whole night. Finally, in the morning he picked an axe and hit it hard. Since, then he never came to visit tree. The tree still lived and grew on its own. The natural rain and sunlight made it strong. Was it really trees fault that Ira died?

Years later, a young boy on his way home stood under the tree as it was raining. He was drenched and the tree gave him shelter. He was Ryan's son. Then since that day he regularly came there and the tree gave him protection sometimes from scorching heat of sun or sometimes from cloudburst. Then one fine day he bought his girlfriend there. The tree witnessed their first kiss and many such sweet moments. They had carved their names with a heart as their first kiss memory. When he got bored he read books sitting under its shade. He tied roped in its branches and swing his girlfriend relying blindly on its strength. The boy had never tasted peaches as his father never bought one. So, he was never tempted to eat one. Seeing the peaches fell on ground his girlfriend picked one and took a bite. History repeated itself and the body of his love started turning blue. But, now he was not as weak as his father. He immediately picked her up and ran towards doctor. Her life was saved.

The boy still held grudges against the tree. He never knew earlier his father lost his sister due to this tree until he was informed. To relieve his inbuilt frustration he picked an axe and stabbed the trunk of the tree several times. The tree was finally destroyed. He felt there was no more fear of endangering another life with its fruit. But once the act was done he wasn't content. He lost his friend who guarded him from nature's wrath. Whenever, he passed down the same lane he missed his memories with the tree. There were no physical memories of his lovers name etched on its stem, no swings which he pushed only for her, no roaming around catching each other, no more it acted as a protector. The tree had gone but its warmth and memories were etched forever in his mind and heart.

Was it really tree's fault or the circumstances were far beyond its control?

My mind was occupied and I couldn't understand whatever I read. Placing the book back on its racks, I opened the door and ran far away inside the depths of forest near Phoenix Mountain. Sitting alone my mind was still fogged with varied thoughts.

The more I thought the more I felt painful. I felt like Fairy has turned wild and she is biting me. I felt her claws making a mark on me, her teeth piercing me. Varied emotions engulfed inside me – emotion of pain, emotion of sadness, emotion of guilt, emotion of betrayal. I thought I lived for this moment but when the act was done my heart is unable to bear the pain. I don't know when but after sometime I saw Zewu-Jun was sitting beside me. He did not utter a word nor did he make his presence feel. As I saw him, he took me in his arms. I wailed in his arms and he let me soothe my pain. He didn't judge me nor did he stop me. He dint teased me for being a crybaby. He just let me be the way I wanted lending his shoulder. After a while when I felt better, he told me I need to be in Koi Tower.

There were medics inside Koi tower. We all knew Qin Su aunty was dead. They had just come to reassure. On seeing me, Jiang uncle came towards us and thanked Zewu-Jun for taking care of me. Maybe they both saw me and he must have left seeing me hurt. Jiang uncle's eyes were bloodshot red. He took a step towards me and then stepped back. I felt he wanted to speak but then he just refrained. His hands were tightening and loosening around Sandu. On outside he looked composed but I knew from inside he too felt miserable. Till night Aunty Su's last rites were done and all cultivators left.

Uncle Jiang also left saying "You need to be here".

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