I've Loved These Days: A Billy Joel Fanfic

Chapter 8 - Turn Around

••••
Oh sweet lady
Running like a stream
You don't look back
Because you know
Your hands are clean
You make believe
That the past was just a dream
Yes you make believe
The past was just a dream
So turn around turn around
And I will sing for you a song
I don't know where you been
But you've been gone too long
••••

Monday, June 21, 1971
Dear Diary,

I've been back home for almost a month, but I haven't been able to see or speak to Bill. After his suicide attempt, the hospital had him placed in the psych ward, and that apparently comes with a mandatory 4 week stay and no outside contact.

In the meantime, I've been doing my best to get my life back to normal. I was able to pick my shifts back up at the diner. I'd been worried they wouldn't take me back after being gone so long, but Sal is a sweetheart and welcomed me back immediately. I'm living with my parents again which is a bit of a double edged sword. I don't have to pay rent, but it's all under the stipulation that I never see or speak to Bill again.

As for that... he was released from the hospital yesterday, and regardless of what my parents think, I have to have one last conversation with him. I may never be able to get past his betrayal, but his suicide attempt made me realize that I still care for him and I don't want to spend my days avoiding him anymore.

I called his mom's house this morning and we spoke for the first time in 2 months. He sounded shocked to hear my voice. He asked me to meet him in the village green in an hour and I agreed, but I'm beyond nervous and have no idea what to expect.

xoxo,
Kat

****

"Don't go easy on him. Really let him have it."

"I mean, he tried to fucking kill himself, Sandy. I can't exactly be mean to him. What if he goes and tries it again?"

"Don't think like that."

"Besides... after this long I feel like I owe him a real conversation." I sighed. "Even if it's just to say goodbye for good."

It was a beautiful summer afternoon, and Sandy and I were both seated on top of a wooden picnic table at the far end of the village green, waiting.

Sandy nudged me. "He's here."

I scanned the open, grassy field. Sure enough, Billy was strolling across the yard, although it didn't seem like he had noticed me yet. He looked a lot better than the last time I'd seen him, beat up and tearful in the diner parking lot.

"Do you want me to stay here with you?"

"I think this is something I need to do on my own," I replied. My eyes stayed trained on Billy as Sandy got up from the table. "I'll come find you when I'm done."

Billy soon saw me and began to walk in my direction. My heart jumped into my throat as I steeled myself for the impending conversation.

"Hey..."

"Hey."

Everything felt extremely awkward, and we both seemed to be having a hard time making eye contact with each other.