I've Loved These Days: A Billy Joel Fanfic

Chapter 33 - Getting Closer

••••
And if I could go back
And start over somehow
I would not change that much
Knowing what I know now
Though there have been sins
I will regret
Still I'm getting closer
Getting closer
I don't have all the answers yet
But I'm getting closer
Getting closer
••••

Monday, March 5, 1979
Dear Diary,

If you're nervous about getting in the water it's better to just jump in full force rather than wade in slowly, right? Yeah... Here's hoping that's right because apparently that's what I'm doing with Bill.

The pregnancy is going wonderfully. My morning sickness has finally started fading and I'm SO thankful. The doctor said once I made it to the second trimester that it would ease up, and I'm so glad he was right. I don't think I could have made this trip otherwise.

Cuba is beautiful, and more importantly it's WARM! I don't necessarily hate winters in New York, but sunbathing on the beach is definitely not something you can do there in March.

xoxo,
Kat

****

A warm breeze tickled my bare feet and I let out a contented sigh. The sun was high in the cloudless sky as I shielded my eyes to look at the ocean in front of me. Billy had been invited to perform at the Havana Jam Festival, and we had arrived in Cuba two days ago. Yesterday had been quite busy, but this afternoon was wide open, and our entire group was currently relaxing on the white, sandy beach.

"We're gettin' in the water." Russel stood up and helped his wife, Suzanne to her feet. "Who else is comin'?"

Liberty, Doug, and Brian all got up to join them, and Billy turned to me from his chair.

"Did you wanna get in?"

I shook my head. "No, laying here in the sun feels too good. Although I could probably use some more sunscreen." I picked up the bottle and handed it to Billy. "Do you mind doing my back?"

"Pass up a chance to touch you? I'd be outta my mind," Billy grinned wickedly. "Although I'd like to do more than just your back..."

I returned his grin. Things between us were still very new. Between my morning sickness and our worry over a possible miscarriage, we hadn't been as physical with each other as we'd like. Billy took the bottle and knelt behind me on my towel. I moved my hair out of the way and closed my eyes as his warm hands began to gently massage the lotion onto my skin. The sound of the crashing ocean waves was the perfect soundtrack as his hands traveled from my shoulders, down my arms, and finally to my hands where he interlocked his fingers with mine.

"You know..." His thumb began to play with the diamond ring he'd surprised me with at Christmas. "How would you feel about finally having that wedding we never had?"

"What are you talking about? We had a wedding."

"Not the wedding you deserve." Billy scooted around from behind me and looked into my eyes. "You deserve better than a quickie wedding in some cheap Vegas hotel."

"I don't need anything more than what we have already. You know that."

"I know, but our anniversary is coming up in a few months, and then we're gonna be having a baby not long after that." He continued to fiddle with the ring on my finger as he spoke. "I was thinking maybe we could have a small ceremony at our house - renew our vows maybe? Just something to prove to you that I'm in this for good and I won't screw it up again. I'm not going anywhere, and I don't want you to either."