I've Loved These Days: A Billy Joel Fanfic

Chapter 31 - I Don't Want To Be Alone Anymore

••••
It's so confusing choosing sides
In the heat of the moment
Just to see if it's real
It's so erotic having you
Tell me how it should feel
But I'm avoiding all the hard cold facts
That I've got to face
So ask me just one question
When this magic night is through
Could it have been just anyone
Or did it have to be you
••••

Tuesday, December 26, 1978
Dear Diary,

Well, I guess it's safe to say that Bill and I are on speaking terms again... Alcohol may have pushed me over the edge, but if I'm being honest I likely would have taken that leap anyway. I'm pretty sure I don't have any regrets over what we did, although I could certainly do without the hangover.

xoxo,
Kat

****

My eyes fluttered open, and for a brief moment I didn't know where I was. I looked around the room at the familiar furniture and then the pounding headache took over and I squeezed my eyes shut again. My fingers found my temples, and as I tried to massage the pain away I felt an arm wrap around my waist.

"Good morning, beautiful," Billy said softly and pulled me into him. It was then that I realized we were both naked. "Waking up next to you is the most amazing feeling."

I thought back to the prior evening. After our romp on the couch we had spent the rest of the night having a lot more alcohol and a lot more sex. In the moment it had all felt so right, but as I lay there trying to ignore the ice pick chiseling away at my head, I couldn't help but worry that we had jumped back into things far too quickly.

"I need an aspirin," I whispered.

Billy gave me a quick kiss on the cheek and then I felt the bed shift as he got up. I squinted my eyes open just enough to see his naked body walk into the bathroom. A moment later he returned with a couple of tablets and a cup, and he handed them to me. 

"Thanks." I sat up and was suddenly very aware of his gaze. I pulled the covers up over my bare breasts as I swallowed the pills. "You look a hell of a lot better than I feel."

Billy chuckled and deposited a gentle kiss on my forehead. He'd always had a far higher tolerance for alcohol than me. "I'll go start some breakfast. Eggs okay?"

I nodded and rubbed my temples again. Billy threw on a t-shirt and a pair of jeans and padded out of the bedroom. I let out a small sigh and looked around. The room looked almost exactly the same as when I'd moved out four months ago. The personal items that I hadn't taken with me were all still where I'd left them. For a moment it almost felt like I still lived here.

I groggily climbed out of bed and stumbled into the bathroom to take a quick shower. By the time I got out and got dressed my headache was less severe. When I made my way into the kitchen Billy was placing two plates on the table. My stomach couldn't decide whether it was nauseous or hungry, and I gulped down a few more sips of water as I sat down.

"Hair of the dog?" Billy took a swig from a beer bottle and offered it to me. "Always works for me."

Suddenly my stomach knew exactly what it was, and a wave of nausea crashed over me. I shook my head. Billy shrugged and sat down next to me, digging in to his breakfast. After a moment my stomach settled and I took a small bite of toast.

"So I head back out on the road the day after tomorrow," Billy began, "but I think we can get all of your stuff moved back in here by then. And I can let Vince know to put you on the travel roster."

I froze mid-bite and stared at him. "Bill... I don't... This isn't..."

Billy's expression went from hopeful to somber, and he placed his fork down gently.